Jonno White
Dec 7, 202235 min
1. Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not. — Vaclav Havel
2. “If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.” – Marie Osmond
3. “The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill.” – W. Clement Stone
4. “Positive energy knows no boundaries.” – Lu Wei
5. “Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it.” – Brian Vaszily
6. “What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
7. “Girls have got balls. They’re just a little higher up, that’s all.” – Joan Jett
8. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” Billie Burke
9. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
10. “Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.” — Og Mandino
11. “A laugh is a smile that bursts.” – Mary H. Waldrip
12. “Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.” – Tom Stoppard
13. “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote
14. “Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things.” – Bernard Sahlins
15. “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” — Jerry Seinfeld
16. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
17. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” Unknown
18. “Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.” — Dick Van Dyke
19. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” Justin Sewell
20. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
21. “If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a hand full of mud either.” – Leo Burnett
22. “Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” – Mark Twain
23. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” — Dave Barry
24. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” – Groucho Marx
25. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”– Ron White
26. You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself. — Ethel Barrymore
27. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” —John Wooden
28. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
29. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” — Yogi Berra
30. “The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”– Bertrand Russell
31. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen
32. “Life is like a box of chocolates.” – Forrest Gump
33. “It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” — Benjamin Dover
34. “The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
35. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” Jeffrey Gitomer
36. “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!” – Dr. Seuss
37. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” – Frank Zappa
38. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar
39. “I’m going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose.” — S. I. Hayakawa
40. “If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” – Irish Proverbs
41. “Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.”
42. “It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”– Thomas Sowell
43. “Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”– Bill Vaughan
44. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” — Dr. Seuss
45. “Good things come to those who initiate.” – Susan RoAne
46. “Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something.”– Enid Blyton
47. “His insomnia was so bad that he could not sleep during office hours.” – Arthur Baer
48. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” – Henny Youngman
49. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
50. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” — Michael Scott, “The Office”
51. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” Terry Pratchett
52. “Hope is the dream of a waking man.”– Aristotle
53. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
54. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”—Will Ferrell
55. “I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat.” —Pam Beesly, The Office
56. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.”– Steven Wright
57. “I’m not crazy — I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.”—Ouiser Boudreaux, Steel Magnolias
58. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” — Sam Levenson
59. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” — Phyllis Diller
60. “Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.” — Hans Christian Andersen
61. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“ – Robert Downey Jr.
62. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” – Robert Brault
63. “You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.” – Solomon Schechter
64. The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time. —Joe Girard
65. “I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.” – Yogi Berra
66. Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.
67. “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” – Mark Twain
68. “They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”– Clint Eastwood
69. I have to be successful because I like expensive things.
70. “There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.” – Amy Poehler
71. “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.” – Groucho Marx
72. “If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.” – Hippocrates
73. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”– Abraham Lincoln
74. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
75. “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”– Henny Youngman
76. When life brings big winds of change that almost blow you over, close your eyes, hang on tight, and believe. — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
77. Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine. — Lord Byron
78. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”– Andy Rooney
79. “Bad decisions make good stories.” — Ellis Vidler
80. Be happy, it drives people crazy. — Paulo Coelho
81. “Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.” – Danny Kaye
82. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
83. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”—Michael Scott, The Office
84. “I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”- Winston Churchill
85. “I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s forward.” — David Livingstone
86. “Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.” – Jessica Simpson
87. It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare. — Benjamin Dover
88. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” – Justin Sewell
89. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
90. “See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly.” — George Harris
91. “What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficult, and every difficulty has an opportunity.”– J. Sidlow Baxter
92. “I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.” – Maya Angelou
93. “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?” – George Carlin
94. “Spend a lot of time talking to customers face to face. You’d be amazed how many companies don’t listen to their customers.” — Ross Perot
95. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost
96. Some people are like clouds: when they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
97. “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.” Unknown
98. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” — Robert Benchley
99. “Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.” — Ray Knight
100. “Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.”– Daniel J. Boorstin
101. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
102. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”– Billy Wilder
103. “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” — Terry Pratchett
104. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” –
105. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frost
106. “To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.” – Baron de Montesquieu
107. “Time is the scarcest resource and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed.” — Peter Drucker
108. “I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.” – Harold Wilson
109. “It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!”– Steven Weinberg
110. “The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin
111. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Sam Levenson
112. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” Unknown
113. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
114. “Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room.” —President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove
115. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” — Mark Twain
116. “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”– Bryan White
117. “Do or do not. There is no try. “ — Yoda, “Star Wars”
118. “Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.”– James Thurber
119. “Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” —Erma Bombeck
120. Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. — Ann Bradford
121. “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
122. “Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.” – John Ciardi
123. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin
124. “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.“ – Oscar Wilde
125. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
126. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a Ninja princess.” – Cassandra Duffy
127. “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.” Unknown
128. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” ―Cathy Guisewite
129. “When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best — that is inspiration.” — Robert Bresson
130. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” Homer Simpson
131. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin
132. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” — Charles Schulz
133. “I rate enthusiasm even above professional skill.” — Edward Victor Appleton
134. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroe
135. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire
136. “Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it.”– Salvador Dali
137. “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” – Maureen Dowd
138. “Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” – David Letterman
139. “Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
140. “I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.” – Mark Twain
141. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” — Steven Wright
142. “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.” –Benjamin Franklin
143. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
144. “High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.” – Christopher Morley
145. “By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”– Charles Wadsworth
146. “In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.” – Charles Schulz
147. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”—Rita Rudner
148. “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” – Isaac Asimov
149. “You never become a howling success by just howling.” – Bob Harrington
150. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
151. “It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes
152. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
153. “After a while, you learn to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are.” — Shrek
154. “Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.” – Andy Rooney
155. “I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”―Oscar Wilde
156. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
157. “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright
158. “If you don’t know where you’re going any road will do.” — Lewis Carroll
159. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy
160. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
161. “Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” — Sherrilyn Kenyon
162. “All men are equal before fish.” – Herbert Hoover
163. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”
164. “A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.” – Laurence J. Peter
165. “Delegating work works, provided the one delegating works, too.” – Robert Half
166. “It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.” – Brigitte Bardot
167. “Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.” — Marilyn vos Savant
168. “Working hard is important. But there is something that matters more, believing yourself.” — Harry Potter
169. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” Unknown
170. “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.” —David Letterman
171. “You can’t shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond!” – Eric Thomas
172. “Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.” — Rita Rudner
173. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”—Erma Bombeck
174. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” — Tom Lehrer
175. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” — Cathy Guisewite
176. “To change your life, change something you do daily.” ― Robert Celner
177. “The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
178. “I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.” – Marilyn Monroe
179. “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” Unknown
180. “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” – Bob Hope
181. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
182. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” — Terry Pratchett
183. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” – Mark Twain
184. “Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.” – Langston Coleman
185. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” — Oscar Wilde
186. “I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.” – Will Rogers
187. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”—Joan Rivers
188. “Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.” – Mae West
189. Aspire to inspire before we expire. — Eugene Bell Jr.
190. “If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.” – Regina Brett
191. “Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost.” — Ellen DeGeneres
192. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar
193. “The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.” – Malcolm Forbes
194. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain
195. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”– Charlie Chaplin
196. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
197. “I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.” – John Green
198. “Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” — Napoleon Hill
199. “The only place where your dreams become impossible is in your own thinking.”– Robert H Schuller
200. “The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have come.” — Nicky Gumbel
201. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
202. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth
203. Be that kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor every morning, the devil says, 'Oh crap she’s up'.
204. “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” —Bill Murray
205. “I have to be successful because I like expensive things.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
206. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”– Steven Wright
207. “Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” —Charlie Brown
208. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” — Winnie the Pooh
209. “A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.” – Winston Churchill
210. “A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey.” — Dolly Parton
211. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Robert Bloch
212. “I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.”
213. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer
214. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” – Phyllis Diller
215. “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.” — Bryan White
216. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” Cassandra Duffy
217. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” — Frank Zappa
218. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” — Anaïs Nin
219. “Today’s opportunities erase yesterday’s failures.” – Gene Brown
220. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde
221. “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” — Oscar Wilde
222. “If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”
223. “A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.” –
224. “The only time I don’t have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.” – James Jason
225. “There’s a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.” – Leonard Barnes
226. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” Steven Wright
227. “I will always choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
228. “Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.” — Merida, “Brave”
229. “If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere.” — Henry A. Kissinger
230. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer
231. Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway. — Eleanor Roosevelt
232. “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”– Jeffree Star
233. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
234. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand
235. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams
236. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
237. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” — Stanley J. Randall
238. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” — Thomas Edison
239. “Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.” – Malcolm Muggeridge
240. “See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly.” – George Harris
241. “Be happy, it drives people crazy.” — Paulo Coelho
242. “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx
243. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” – Winston Churchill
244. “If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” – Margaret Thatcher
245. “Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Sherrilyn Kenyon
246. “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” — Willy Wonka
247. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” Winnie the Pooh
248. “I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with ’em later." —Mitch Hedberg'
249. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Marilyn Monroe
250. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
251. “It’s hard to get lost if you don’t know where you’re going.” — Jim Jarmusch
252. “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”– Samuel Goldwyn
253. “If you want an interesting party, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone.” —Robert Fulghum
254. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” — Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
255. “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” – Mae West
256. “Build on what makes you different from your competition. . . You need to be the red tree in the forest.” — Nick Maley
257. “Some people die at twenty-five and aren’t buried until they are seventy-five.” – Benjamin Franklin
258. “Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.” – Bill Copeland
259. “The only time I feel light-hearted is when I’m in a plane at 33,000 feet.” – Robert Rivers
260. “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” – Will Rogers
261. “Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.” – Don Herold
262. “Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.” – Martina Navratilova
263. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” —Mitch Hedberg
264. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles Schulz
265. “Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there.” – Josh Billings
266. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished— If you’re alive it isn’t.” — Richard Bach
267. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” — Bob Hope
268. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you’re alive it isn’t.” – Richard Bach
269. “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” —Joey Adams
270. “A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.” – Charles Gordy
271. “In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.” — Harold Geneen
272. “Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.” – Gilbert Gottfried
273. “Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine.” — Lord Byron
274. “I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.”– Drake
275. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.” — Mark Twain
276. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown
277. “Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.” – Charles M. Schulz
278. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll laugh at you.”
279. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”– Bill Watterson
280. “The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein
281. “The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts.” – Fulton J. Sheen
282. “The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.” — Bette Midler
283. “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
284. “If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.” Unknown
285. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” —Lucille Ball
286. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
287. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” — Sarah Brown
288. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” Jason Love
289. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”– Alan Dundes
290. “A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”– Denis Waitley
291. “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers
292. “Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying.” Unknown
293. “The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm.” – Malcolm Forbes
294. “The nicest thing about quotes is that they give us a nodding acquaintance with the originator which is often socially impressive.” — Kenneth Williams
295. “You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.” — Sam Levenson
296. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – Albert Einstein
297. “Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties.” —Barbara Walters
298. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” — Kyle Chandler
299. “I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.” – Edgar Allan Poe
300. “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.” — Charles J. Sykes
301. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” — Franklin P. Jones
302. “Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket.” – Elinor MacDonald
303. “Cause your facial expression to change – smile.” – Catherine Pulsifer
304. You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice. — Sam Levenson
305. “Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”– Francois de La Rochefoucauld
306. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn
307. “I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.” – H. Kyle Seale
308. “All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.” — Alexander Woollcott
309. “A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” – William James
310. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne
311. “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
312. “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam.” — George Carlin
313. “If you fall, I’ll always be there.” – The Floor
314. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” - Kin Hubbard
315. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklin
316. “I love mankind… it’s people I can’t stand!!” ― Charles M. Schulz
317. “Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”—Ellen DeGeneres
318. “Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”—Lt. Frank Drebin
319. “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” – Confucius
320. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. — Elbert Hubbard
321. “Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” — Mark Twain
322. “When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration.” – Robert Bresson
323. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein
324. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
325. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
326. “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.”—Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias
327. “When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” – Gracie Allen
328. “If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.”– George Burns
329. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” — Marilyn Monroe
330. “When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.” – George Burns
331. “A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”– Eleanor Roosevelt
332. “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers
333. “Life is like the stock market. Some days you’re up. Some days you’re down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind.” – Paula Wall
334. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemingway
335. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns
336. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” — Steven Wright
337. “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” – George Carlin
338. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones
339. “My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.” – Jean Rostand
340. “If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” – Abraham Lincoln
341. “A good time for laughing is when you can.” – Jessamyn West
342. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” — Steven Wright
343. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.” – Ethel Barrymore
344. “Complain a lot and people will hear you but not listen.” – Catherine Pulsifer
345. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twain
346. “Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”– Cullen Hightower
347. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” – Donald Trump
348. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” — Ayn Rand
349. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”—Phyllis Diller
350. “There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
351. “Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.” — Ann Bradford
352. “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
353. When life puts you in a tough situation, don’t say 'Why me?', say 'Try me'.
354. “I’m not confused. I’m just well mixed.” – Robert Frost
355. “The great thing about taking big chances when you’re younger is you have less to lose, and you don’t know as much. So you take big swings.” — Amy Poehler
356. “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.” — Jeffree Star
357. “When life puts you in a tough situation, don’t say ‘Why me?’, say ‘Try me’.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
358. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin
359. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow.
360. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.” — Lucille Ball
361. “So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.” — Ed Helms
362. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” — Audrey Hepburn
363. “My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” — Caroline Rhea
364. “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” — Patches O’Houlihan
365. “Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.”—Samuel L. Jackson
366. We make mistakes because life doesn’t come with instructions.
367. “You’re at your best when you don’t know what you’re doing.” – Paul Stanley
368. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”—Will Ferrell
369. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” – Homer Simpson
370. “There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.” – Roger Staubach
371. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” Unknown
372. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
373. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls
374. “Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
375. “Family — the ties that bind … and gag!” – Erma Bombeck
376. “An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.” – Will Rogers
377. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” — Elvis Presley
378. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
379. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
380. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams
381. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” — Billy Wilder
382. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” — Bill Watterson
383. “I ain’t sleeping. I’m just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.” — Jonathan Raban
384. “To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.” – Hippocrates
385. “Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.” – Voltaire
386. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley
387. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.“ – Winston Churchill
388. Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way. — Charles Bukowski
389. “To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
390. “Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart.” – Ross Perot
391. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
392. “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” ―Mae West
393. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” Unknown
394. “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” – Terry Pratchett
395. “Think like a proton. Always positive.” Unknown
396. “If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” — Margaret Thatcher
397. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
398. “If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap.” – Glen Buck
399. “I think you can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.” – Janis Joplin
400. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller
401. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
402. “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”—Les Dawson
403. “Always drink upstream from the herd.” – Will Rogers
404. “Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” — Wendell Johnson
405. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
406. “I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”―Bill Watterson
407. “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.” — Charles Bukowski
408. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
409. “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher
410. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”– Elbert Hubbard
411. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” – Jason Love
412. “I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!”– Tom Lehrer
413. “When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.” – Walter Lippmann
414. “When you’re riding, only the race in which you’re riding is important.” – Bill Shoemaker
415. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
416. “Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.” — Kareena Kapoor
417. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth
418. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”– Charles de Gaulle
419. “You can’t live an exceptional life by being “normal.” – Nick Maley
420. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard
421. “Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip.” – Richard Steele
422. “Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.”― Charles Dickens
423. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” Ayn Rand.
424. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” — Mark Twain
425. “Be happy – it drives people crazy.” Unknown
426. “When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and then try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” — Ron White
427. “I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” – Louis Agassiz
428. “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.” – W. H. Auden
429. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis Presley
430. “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” — Captain Jack Sparrow
431. “I am only human, although I regret it.” – Mark Twain
432. If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck. — Elvis Presley
433. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” — Les Brown
434. “Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” – Jackie Mason
435. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” Cathy Guisewite
436. “My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you’re a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That’s the way to get an idea.” —Andy Rooney
437. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss
438. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
439. “Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?” – Naruto Uzumaki
440. “It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them.” – Rose MacAulay
441. “Bending beats breaking.” ― Betty Greene
442. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”– Bob Hope
443. “When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'” – Sydney Harris
444. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London
445. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Eddison
446. “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”– Scott Adams
447. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”– Ronald Reagan
448. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” Robert Bloch
449. “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” — Isaac Asimov
450. “I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.”– Samuel Goldwyn
451. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
452. “It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
453. “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.” —Luis Buñuel
454. “All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.” – Sean O’Casey
455. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” – Woody Allen
456. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
457. “Aspire to inspire before we expire.” – Eugene Bell Jr
458. “Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost.” – Ellen DeGeneres
459. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
460. “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” – Don Marquis
461. “oh, yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it.” — Rafiki, “the Lion King”
462. “When life brings big winds of change that almost blow you over, close your eyes, hang on tight, and believe.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
463. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“ — Robert Downey Jr.
464. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” — Oscar Wilde
465. “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.” —Garry Shandling
466. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
467. “Free your mind and your ass will follow.” – George Clinton
468. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” Oscar Wilde
469. “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.” – George Carlin
470. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
471. “Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” – Jeffrey Gitomer
472. “A fool and his money never should have got together in the first place.” – Michael Douglas
473. “I don’t remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child.” — Anne Lamott
474. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz
475. “There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.” – Lawrence Welk
476. “If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.” – Sam Levenson
477. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”– George Carlin
478. “You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” – Stephen King
479. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” — A.A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh"
480. “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” – George Carlin
481. “The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.” – George Carlin
482. “You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.” — Tina Fey
483. “I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life.” – Karan Patel
484. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson
485. “Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.” – Dalai Lama
486. “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie
487. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” Ashleigh Brilliant
488. “If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.” – Steve Maraboli
489. You can’t always control who walks into your life, but you can control which window you throw them out.
490. “Life only delivers to people that create their own postal code.” – Jelani Daniel
491. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off forever.” — P. J. Plauger
492. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
493. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire
494. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” Unknown
495. “Don’t do what you want. Do what you don’t want. Do what you’re trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most.” ― Chuck Palahniuk
496. “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” – Madeleine L’Engle
497. “Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.” – Tina Fey
498. “Do or do not. There is no try.” — Yoda
499. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lama
500. “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”– Dorothy Parker
501. “We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.” — Will Rogers
502. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
503. “Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.” — Voltaire
504. “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra
505. “Always remember that you are unique — just like everybody else.”
506. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”– Bernard Baruch
507. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” Franklin P. Jones
508. “I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.” —Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
509. “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” —James Branch Cabell
510. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower
511. “The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
512. “There comes a day when you’re gonna look around and realize happiness is where you are.’ — Chief Tui, “Moana”
513. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.” – Lucille Ball
514. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” — George Carlin
515. “If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big.” – Tom Hirshfield
516. “Life is short. Be silly. Have fun. Regret nothing.” – Karen Salmansohn
517. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” — Phyllis Diller
518. “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” — William James
519. “There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.” — Amy Poehler
520. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” — Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
521. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” — Erma Bombeck
522. “Without the will or desire to achieve one is like flotsam on the oceans of time.” — Steven Redhead
523. “Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
524. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
525. “Taking an interest in what others are thinking and doing is often a much more powerful form of encouragement than praise.” – Robert Martin
526. “If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.” – Johnny Carson
527. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain
528. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin
529. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Will Rogers
530. “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” – Pablo Picasso
531. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
532. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler
533. “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carli
534. “A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
535. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” — Albert Einstein
536. “If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” — Irish Proverbs
537. “You can’t experience simple joys when you’re living life with your hair on fire.” – Emily Ley
538. “Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.” – Voltaire
539. “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” – Terry Pratchett
540. “The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.” — Paul Reiser
541. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katharine Hepburn
542. “You can’t crush ideas by suppressing them. You can only crush them by ignoring them. By refusing to think, refusing to change.” ― Ursula K. Le Guin
543. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” —Jack Handey
544. Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat. — Harry Emerson Fosdick
545. “If you don’t know where you are, a map won’t help.” – Watts Humphrey
546. “Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick
547. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” Michael Scott
548. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain
549. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito. — African proverb quoted by the Dalai Lama
550. “I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.” — Will Rogers