Name: Neil Milton

Title: Founder

Organisation: The Table Talk Project

Neil has been leading not-for-profits for the last 25 years and believes good leadership is founded on vulnerability and empathy. He is the founder of a charity called The Table Talk Project, which supports families to build better connections, deeper relationships, and better mental health through having meaningful conversations around the table a minimum once per week. He’s also a General Manager and a coach for start-up businesses, a speaker, and a passionate advocate for the prevention of child abuse.

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We’ve gone through the interviews and asked the best of the best to come back and answer 7 MORE Questions on Leadership.

I hope Neil's answers will encourage you in your leadership journey. Enjoy!

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Jonno White

1. As a leader, how do you build trust with employees, customers and other stakeholders?

It’s about being reliable and authentic. We cannot be fake in the world of business; that is not going to be helpful. People need to see who you are, your passion, and, particularly with our employees, your vulnerability. Also, I would say empathy people need to know you understand them, not that you know what they are going through, but that you are willing to walk the journey with them.

2. What do 'VISION' and 'MISSION' mean to you? And what does it actually look like to use them in real-world business?

Vision is where the organisation wants to land, eg, “if this problem were solved, then the world would look like this”. To have no vision means you are not headed anywhere with purpose.

Mission is how you plan to get to your vision. What will you do to solve the problem? Who will you partner with to solve the problem? Mission is the how and is very important. It gives clarity, so you don’t go everywhere on the journey.

3. How can a leader empower the people they're leading?

I have two focuses in leadership: Show vulnerability and empathy, and help them to be the best at who they are and what they do. We live in a world where leaders are portrayed as this stoic telling people what they should do leader, and someone who comes into a business or organisation and pushes people around, and are often hated for what they need to do.

I believe that to empower is to show what a leader is supposed to be. To bear our soul when we need to, if we are having a tough day, our mental health isn’t great, let people know. It will show people you are human too as a leader and will empower others to come to you and be vulnerable with you, too. Empathy - no, you will never understand what someone is going through because you are not them, but we can be willing to walk the journey with them.

Give them the tools they need to do their job, but also help them know they are not alone. Then trust them to do the job and back off. Empowering other people is not micromanaging, it is trusting them to do their job and being there for support if they need it. Giving them space to be themselves in the role.

4. Who are some of the coaches or mentors in your life who have had a positive influence on your leadership? Can you please tell a meaningful story about one of them?

Phil Pynor is my leadership coach, and he has been with me for 15 years. He has seen me at my worst and best and vice versa. I remember our first meeting. He walked into my office and he listened to me for a long time, and then he said to me Neil, unless you get a hold of your power, I am either going to be counselling your divorce, visiting you in jail, or visiting you in a mental institution”.

It was like I had just been hit with a baseball bat. I did not consider myself as powerful in any way; however, what I learn was that some people with big personalities, if presence and a big passion can come across as powerful, and that unchecked can leave a wake of destruction behind them. I’ll never forget that moment cause it changed my life and leadership forever.

Others have been Barry Littleford, a guy who was a mentor and support throughout my teenage and young adult life. These people come to mind the most.

5. Leadership is often more about what you DON'T do. How do you maintain focus in your role?

People are my focus, and they are more important than the job sometimes. I think it’s not so much focus as it is perspective. The cause we are fighting for is huge, and this is what keeps me motivated. I believe The Table Talk Project can save lives.

6. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Everyone plans differently. How do you plan for the week, month and years ahead in your role?

We use OKRs Objective, Key, Results This helps us stay focused on the tasks at hand and make sure we are following our vision nd mission and that we are not getting sidetracked.

7. What advice would you give to a young leader who is struggling to delegate effectively?

As much as you want to make sure things are done perfectly and in your mind you think that only you can do that, the truth is this way of thinking will end in burnout. You must trust the people you are leading, trust that you have given them the tools, and you will be there to support them. Yes, they will make mistakes, but so did you. Lead with the attitude that you want to empower those you are leading, you do not want to hold them back. Hopefully, one day they will surpass you and you will cheer them on.