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  • Jonno White

200 Most Hilarious Anchorman Quotes: Funny, Iconic, Memorable

1. “We need you. Hell, I need you. I’m a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.” – Champ Kind

2. “I woke up this morning, and I sh*t a squirrel. I mean, literally hell of it is damn things still alive, so I got this sh*t covered squirrel down there in the office. Don’t know what to name it.” – Champ Kid

3. Announcer: "You’re watching Channel 4 News with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee."

4. - Champ Kind: What in the hell's diversity?

5. “I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.

6. “They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.”

7. On statistics8. “Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means ‘a whale’s vagina’.”

9. “I’m not a baby! I’m a man! An anchorman!” – Ron Burgundy

10. “I love lamp. I love lamp.” — Brick Tamland

11. - Brick Tamland: I love lamp.”

12. “Knights of Columbus, that hurt!” – Ron Burgundy

13. “I know what you’re wondering, and the answer is yes, I do have a nickname for my p*n*s. It’s called ‘The Octogon’.” – Brian Fantana

14. “I love lamp.”

15. “Listen, there’s three things I’m good at—fighting, screwing, and reading the news. I’ve already done one of those things today, and I’m about to do one more. Which is it gonna be?” – Veronica Corningstone

16. “Hey aqualung!” – Ron Burgundy

17. “This is embarrassing. I’m totally unprepared.” – Ron Burgundy

18. “It is anchorman, not anchor lady! And that is a scientific fact!” – Champ Kind

19. “What do you say if we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex... you know, see what happens.”

20. - Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.”

21. “Go fuck yourself San Diego.” – Ron Burgundy

22. “I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.” – Ron Burgundy

23. - Ron Burgundy: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.”

24. “Okay, before we start, let’s go over the ground rules. No touching of the hair or face. And that’s it. Now, fight!” – Ron Burgundy

25. “Yeah. There were horses and a man on fire. And I killed a guy with a trident.” – Brick Tamland

26. “Where’d you get those clothes? The toilet store?” – Brick Tamland