250 Hilarious Quotes About Ageing Gracefully

1. “At the age of 20, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn’t thinking of us at all.” — John M Eades

2. “When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.” — Joan Rivers

3. “What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. The mere act of believing that some wrongful course of action constitutes an advantage is pernicious.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

4. “To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child. For what is the worth of human life, unless it is woven into the life of our ancestors by the records of history?” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

5. “The older you get, the more you realize that it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. And sometimes the journey involves a lot of naps.”

6. “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom

7. “I think my least healthy habit is running around too much. And I think I’m getting better about it as I’m getting older.” — Cynthia Nixon

8. “History is the witness of the times, the light of truth, the life of memory, the teacher of life, the messenger of antiquity.”

9. “I have a great curiosity to see new things, but not to own them. It’s very peaceful this way, and one of the nice things about getting older.” – Lee Radziwill

10. “Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room, so you don’t have to chase it.” – Greg Tamblyn

11. “Getting older is a great thing because you can blame anything on your age. Forgot your keys? Must be old age. Can’t remember someone’s name? Old age strikes again. It’s the ultimate excuse for any and all shortcomings!”

12. “More is lost by indecision than wrong decision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity. It will steal you blind.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

13. “An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” - Agatha Christie

14. “You know you’re getting old when you start to forget your own name. But at least you can still remember the lyrics to your favorite song from the 70s.”

15. “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Ann Landers

16. “Not to know what has been transacted in former times is to be always a child. If no use is made of the labors of past ages, the world must remain always in the infancy of knowledge.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

17. “There are six myths about old age: 1) that it’s a disease, a disaster. 2) That we are mindless. 3) That we are sexless. 4) That we are useless. 5) That we are powerless. 6) That we are all alike.” Maggie Kuhn

18. “I guess that's what saying good-bye is always like--like jumping off an edge. The worst part is making the choice to do it. Once you're in the air, there's nothing you can do but let go.”

19. “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” - Sir Norman Wisdom

20. “Another year, another reason to celebrate the fact that you’re still aging better than that moldy cheese in the back of your fridge.”

21. “I am old enough to see how little I have done in so much time, and how much I have to do in so little.” - Sheila Kaye-Smith

22. “It’s not the specter of aging that haunts me. Rather, it’s the far greater fear of having aged and having nothing to show for the aging.” – Craig D. Lounsbrough

23. “To know how to grow old is the masterwork of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.” — Henri Frederic Amiel

24. “Aging is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get, but you hope it’s not the one with the cherry in it.”

25. “I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven’t changed much since I was in my twenties. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now.” -George Carlin

26. “Aging gracefully means being flexible, being open, allowing change, enjoying change and loving yourself.” – Wendy Whelan

27. “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” Andy Rooney

28. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” -George Burns

29. “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” Sophia Loren

30. “I wish I was 100 percent confident in my own skin. It’s always a process, but getting older, I’ve become more confident.” – Brittany Snow

31. “He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, you and age are equally a burden.” Plato

32. “It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgment.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

33. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile.

34. “It’s a wonderful thing, as time goes by, to be with someone who looks into your face, when you’ve gotten old, and still sees what you think you look like.” – James Cromwell

35. “As you get older, you start to realize that wrinkles are just road maps of your life’s journey. And sometimes those roads had a lot of potholes.”

36. “You know you’re getting old when kids start to dress like you used to and movies are made about your teen life.” ― David Brenner

37. “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” -Kurt Vonnegut

38. “I’m kind of comfortable with getting older because it’s better than the other option, which is being dead. So, I’ll take getting older.” – George Clooney

39. “Poor is the nation that has no heroes, but poorer still is the nation that having heroes, fails to remember and honor them.”

40. “For me, the end of childhood came when the number of candles on my birthday cake no longer reflected my age, around 19 or 20. From then on, each candle came to represent an entire decade.” — Yotam Ottolenghi

41. “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney

42. “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” -Benjamin Franklin

43. “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” -Andy Rooney

44. “In my opinion, everybody is getting older and older. We have a great deal of dementia because nobody grew old enough to get it.” — Michael Caine

45. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.” Agatha Christie

46. “I like getting older. When you’re in your 20’s you’re really forging for your future. Things take shape later on.” – Crispin Glover

47. “There is absolutely nothing to be said in favor of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it.” -Patrick Moore

48. “The wise are instructed by reason, average minds by experience, the stupid by necessity and the brute by instinct.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

49. “I don’t believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates.” – T. S. Eliot

50. “You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault

51. “The great thing about getting older is that you become more mellow. Things aren’t as black and white, and you become much more tolerant. You can see the good in things much more easily rather than getting enraged as you used to do when you were young.” – Maeve Binchy

52. “Of all the self-fulfilling prophecies in our culture the assumption that aging means decline and poor health is probably the deadliest.” Marilyn Ferguson

53. “Where does it say we have to ‘act’ our age? As long as it makes me happy and I’m not hurting anyone, I will act whatever age I want to!” – Unknown

54. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” — Golda Meir

55. “As we get older, we realize that we’ve become the supporting cast in the lives of people we used to be the stars of.”

56. “For books are more than books, they are the life, the very heart and core of ages past, the reason why men worked and died, the essence and quintessence of their lives.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

57. “I never thought getting older would be so great. But when it comes to depression, I have experienced less the older I’ve gotten.” — Amy Grant

58. Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better! - Ingrid Bergman

59. “When time and need require, we should resist with all our might, and prefer death to slavery and disgrace.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

60. “Though liberty is established by law, we must be vigilant, for liberty to enslave us is always present under that very liberty. Our Constitution speaks of the “general welfare of the people.” Under that phrase all sorts of excesses can be employed by lusting tyrants to make us bondsmen.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

61. “Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Samuel Ullman

62. “There is no one who can give you wiser advice than you can give yourself: you will never make a slip, if you listen to your own heart.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

63. “The life of the dead is placed on the memories of the living. The love you gave in life keeps people alive beyond their time. Anyone who was given love will always live on in another’s heart.”

64. “To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

65. “A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

66. “One of the shocks of a 50th birthday is realizing the fundamental fact that your youth is irrevocably over.” — Marianne Williamson

67. “Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” Edward Stanley

68. “Getting older is tough. I remember the last time I felt an erection. It was at the movies. The only trouble is, it belonged to the guy sitting next to me.” — Rodney Dangerfield

69. “For there is but one essential justice which cements society, and one law which establishes this justice. This law is right reason, which is the true rule of all commandments and prohibitions. Whoever neglects this law, whether written or unwritten, is necessarily unjust and wicked.”

70. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” — Ogden Nash

71. “As a man gets older, if he knows what is good for him, the women he likes are getting older too. The trouble is that most of them are married.” ― Ross Macdonald

72. “The aging process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn’t ready to appear ridiculous.” -John Mortimer

73. “For out of such an ungoverned populace one is usually chosen as a leader, someone bold and unscrupulous who curries favor with the people by giving them other men’s property. To such a man the protection of public office is given, and continually renewed. He emerges as a tyrant over the very people who raised him to power.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

74. ​​"Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing."

75. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

76. “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.” — Ogden Nash

77. “Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” Maggie Kuhn

78. “In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.” -Robert Brault

79. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” -Woody Allen

80. “Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!” ― Ingrid Bergman

81. “There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus, he does not believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.” -Bob Phillips

82. “If you live to the age of a hundred, you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred.” — George Burns

83. “There’s another part of getting older that’s just wonderful. Which is you see the way the stories turn out with peoples’ lives.” ― Erica Jong

84. “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.” - Mark Twain

85. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” – George Burns

86. “Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

87. “If you wish to persuade me, you must think my thoughts, feel my feelings, and speak my words.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

88. “Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25 — unless we haven’t had our coffee, in which case we feel 107.” – Martha Beck

89. “One thing I’ve noticed about getting older, it takes twice as much work to get half the results one formerly achieved by falling out of bed.” — Josh Lanyon

90. “The life of the dead is placed on the memories of the living. The love you gave in life keeps people alive beyond their time. Anyone who was given love will always live on in another's heart.”

91. “It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

92. “The Jews belong to a dark and repulsive force. One knows how numerous this clique is, how they stick together and what power they exercise through their unions. They are a nation of rascals and deceivers.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

93. “I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven’t changed much since I was in my twenties. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now.” – George Carlin

94. “Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn’t matter because you can’t hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt…” – Billy Crystal

95. “Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.” – Helen Rowland

96. “When a government becomes powerful it is destructive, extravagant and violent; it is an usurer which takes bread from innocent mouths and deprives honorable men of their substance, for votes with which to perpetuate itself.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

97. “I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.” -Rodney Dangerfield

98. “Not to know what has been transacted in former times is to be always a child. If no use is made of the labours of past ages, the world must remain always in the infancy of knowledge.”

99. “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” - Leo Rosenberg

100. “When you’re young, you dream about conquering the world. When you’re old, you just hope you can conquer the stairs.”

101. “If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.”

102. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. —George Burns

103. “You’re not getting older, you’re just increasing in value… like a rare coin, or a vintage wine stain on your shirt.”

104. “Promises are not to be kept, if the keeping of them is to prove harmful to those to whom you have made them.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

105. “In a republic, this rule ought to be observed: that the majority should not have the predominant power.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

106. “The great thing about getting older is that you get a chance to tell the people in your life who matter what they mean to you.” – Mike Love

107. “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” George Burns

108. “As you get older, you start to realize that taking better care of yourself isn’t a luxury – it’s a survival tactic.”

109. “The Jews belong to a dark and repulsive force. One knows how numerous this clique is, how they stick together and what power they exercise through their unions. They are a nation of rascals and deceivers.”

110. “Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.” – George Burns

111. When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'

112. “To keep the heart unwrinkled — to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent — that is to triumph over old age.” – Thomas Bailey Aldrich

113. “Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better.” – Ingrid Bergman

114. “At 30 you finally start to catch up on those dreams you’ve been chasing for the last 10 plus years.” — Bonidette Lanz

115. “As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery of old age; first, it withdraws us from active accomplishments; second, it renders the body less powerful; third, it deprives us of almost all forms of enjoyment; fourth, it stands not far from death.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

116. “If you’re always battling against getting older, you’re always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow.” – Mitch Albom

117. “I decided if you’re lucky enough to be alive, you should use each birthday to celebrate what your life is about.” — Mary Steenburgen

118. “The older you get, the more you realize that your bucket list is just a list of things you don’t want to do anymore.”

119. “A nation can survive its fools and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

120. “Do not blame Caesar, blame the people of Rome who have so enthusiastically acclaimed and adored him and rejoiced in their loss of freedom and danced in his path and gave him triumphal processions. Blame the people who hail him when he speaks in the Forum of the ‘new, wonderful good society’ which shall now be Rome, interpreted to mean ‘more money, more ease, more security, more living fatly at the expense of the industrious.'” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

121. “For books are more than books, they are the life, the very heart and core of ages past, the reason why men worked and died, the essence and quintessence of their lives.”

122. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

123. “As you age, you become more selective about who you spend your time with. Because, let’s face it, life is too short for toxic people.”

124. “At a certain age, you start to forget things, like why you walked into a room or where you put your keys…or your glasses…or your phone…”

125. “A nation can survive its fools, even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within….for the traitor appears not to be a traitor…he rots the soul of a nation…he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

126. “Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks in great and honorable courses with a sure hope and trust in itself.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

127. “The more you are getting older, you lose a little something. Of course there is another advantage, because of your long experience you can use it.” — Haile Gebrselassie

128. “Your face is marked with lines of life, put there by love and laughter, suffering and tears. It’s beautiful.” – Lynsay Sands

129. “My physical body may be less efficient and less beautiful in old age. But God has given me an enormous compensation: my mind is richer my Soul is broader and my wisdom is at a peak. I am so happy with the riches of my advanced peak age that, contrary to Faust, I would not wish to return to youth.” Robert Muller

130. ...ho ho ho, and hee hee hee, break that lute across my knee... and if the bard, should choose to fight, why then I'll set his clothes alight...

131. “To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child. For what is the worth of human life, unless it is woven into the life of our ancestors by the records of history?”

132. “When time and need require, we should resist with all our might, and prefer death to slavery and disgrace.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

133. “They say the fountain of youth is hidden somewhere in the Amazon. Clearly, they’ve never met a woman in her forties with a Sephora rewards card.”

134. “Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century: Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others; Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected; Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it; Refusing to set aside trivial preferences; Neglecting development and refinement of the mind; Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

135. “At a certain age, you become less concerned with fitting in and more concerned with just getting in your stretchy pants.”

136. “Where does it say we have to act our age? As long as it makes me happy and I’m not hurting anyone, I will act whatever age I want to.” – Unknown

137. “I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror.” -Cherie Lunghi

138. “They who say that we should love our fellow-citizens but not foreigners, destroy the universal brotherhood of mankind, with which benevolence and justice would perish forever.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

139. “People don’t know the value of what they have until it is gone: Freedom suppressed and again regained bites with keener fangs than freedom never endangered…. Liberty is rendered even more precious by the recollection of servitude. Don’t wait till freedom is gone before you enjoy, value, support, protect and make the most of it!” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

140. “It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, the force of character, and judgment.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

141. “Old age … is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator.” – Confucius

142. “Age puzzles me. I thought it was a quiet time. My seventies were interesting and fairly serene, but my eighties are passionate. I grow more intense as I age.” – Florida Scott-Maxwell

143. Be wise, because the world needs wisdom. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would.

144. “There are two ways to resolve conflicts, through violence or through negotiation. Violence is for wild beasts, negotiation is for human beings.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

145. “The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” – T. S. Eliot

146. “The budget should be balanced, the treasury refilled, public debt reduced, the arrogance of officialdom tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands curtailed, lest Rome become bankrupt.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

147. “ … (H)e who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden.” – Cephalus

148. “You know you’re getting old when you start to forget things, like what you had for breakfast…or if you had breakfast at all.”

149. “Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.” Albert Einstein

150. “Nihil est incertius vulgo, nihil obscurius voluntate hominum, nihil fallacius ratione tota comitiorum. (Nothing is more unpredictable than the mob, nothing more obscure than public opinion, nothing more deceptive than the whole political system.)” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes

151. “I’ve reached the age where my brain went from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.” – Unknown

152. “My advice: Don’t waste so much time worrying about your skin or your weight. Develop what you put your hands on in the world.” Meryl Streep

153. “As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Here’s to a long life and a merry one: a quick death and an easy one!”

154. “The best thing about being in your 90s is you’re spoiled rotten. Everybody spoils you like mad and they treat you with such respect because you’re old. Little do they know, you haven’t changed. You haven’t changed in [the brain]. You’re just 90 every place else.” – Betty White

155. “Do not blame Caesar, blame the people of Rome who have so enthusiastically acclaimed and adored him and rejoiced in their loss of freedom and danced in his path and gave him triumphal processions. Blame the people who hail him when he speaks in the Forum of the 'new, wonderful good society' which shall now be Rome, interpreted to mean 'more money, more ease, more security, more living fatly at the expense of the industrious.'”

156. “It’s horrible getting older. I mean, it’s wonderful because you see the circles of life get completed. But it’s horrible losing your looks.” ― Erica Jong

157. “People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” – George Burns

158. “The good thing about getting older is that, as you become less attractive, you have less desire to go out and conquer everyone you see.” – Julian Clary

159. “Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock ’n’ roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.”” – Cher

160. “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.” – Mark Twain

161. “I don’t want to sound like a Hallmark card, but to be able to wake up each day with food and shelter, that alone is good. Forget aging and the fact that my butt is becoming a little more familiar with my knees than my tailbone. If you are six feet above ground it’s a good day. So, give me more!” -Faith Hill

162. ... It was Seneca or it was Cicero, I don't know which, that said, "If it was not for the elders correcting the mistakes of the young, there would be no state."

163. “When the candles on your cake burn down before they are all lit you know you are getting up there.” – Catherine Pulsifer

164. “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.” Kurt Vonnegut

165. “To be ignorant of the lives of the most celebrated men of antiquity is to continue in a state of childhood all our days.”

166. “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” – Sophia Loren

167. “Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!” – Ingrid Bergman

168. “The older you get, the more you realize that you can’t change the past. But you can always learn from it…if you remember it.”

169. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

170. “Nothing is more unreliable than the populace, nothing more obscure than human intentions, nothing more deceptive than the whole electoral system.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

171. “The older you get, the more you realize that you don’t have to be rich to be happy. You just need a comfortable pair of shoes.”

172. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and the I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom

173. “Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century: Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others; Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected; Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it; Refusing to set aside trivial preferences; Neglecting development and refinement of the mind; Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do.”

174. “The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” -T.S. Elliot

175. “First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.” — Branch Rickey

176. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK, then it's you. —Rita Mae Brown

177. “To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.” — Thomas Bailey Aldrich

178. “When you were young, you wanted to be older. Now that you’re older, you want to be young again. Life is funny that way.”

179. “The life of the dead is placed on the memories of the living. The love you gave in life keeps people alive beyond their time. Anyone who was given love will always live on in another’s heart.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

180. “Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock n roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.’” – Cher

181. “Anyone may fairly seek his own advantage, but no one has a right to do so at another’s expense.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

182. “Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

183. “The older you get, the more you realize that life is too short to waste time on things that don’t matter. Like ironing.”

184. “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” -Leo Rosenberg

185. “Getting older is like a game of Jenga. Every year, you remove a block from the tower and hope it doesn’t all come crashing down. The only difference is that with aging, the consequences are a lot more… permanent. It’s a really frightening thing, but at least you get to keep all the blocks you’ve collected along the way!”

186. “It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

187. “I can honestly say I love getting older. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror.” – Cherie Lunghi

188. “Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” – Maggie Kuhn

189. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

190. “The wise are instructed by reason, average minds by experience, the stupid by necessity and the brute by instinct.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes

191. “The older you get, the less you care about what other people think. You’ve earned the right to be yourself, wrinkles and all.”

192. “The older you get, the more you realize that you don’t need a lot of friends, just a few good ones…who can help you get up off the floor.”

193. “I’m a person who gets better with practice. Getting older is awesome – because you get more practice.” — Zooey Deschanel

194. “It is a man’s own dishonesty, his crimes, his wickedness, and boldness, that takes away from him soundness of mind; these are the furies, these the flames, and firebrands, of the wicked.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

195. “What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. The mere act of believing that some wrongful course of action constitutes an advantage is pernicious.”

196. “When you’re young, you think wrinkles are for old people. Then you wake up one day and realize you look like a raisin.”

197. “A bureaucrat is the most despicable of men, though he is needed as vultures are needed, but one hardly admires vultures whom bureaucrats so strangely resemble. I have yet to meet a bureaucrat who was not petty, dull, almost witless, crafty or stupid, an oppressor or a thief, a holder of little authority in which he delights, as a boy delights in possessing a vicious dog. Who can trust such creatures?” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

198. “If we are forced, at every hour, to watch or listen to horrible events, this constant stream of ghastly impressions will deprive even the most delicate among us of all respect for humanity.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

199. “Read at every wait; read at all hours; read within leisure; read in times of labor; read as one goes out. The task of the educated mind is simply put: read to lead.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

200. “People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” George Burns

201. “One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young.” – Dorothy Canfield Fisher

202. “A man would have no pleasures in discovering all the beauties of the universe, even in heaven itself, unless he had a partner to whom he might communicate his joys.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

203. “Read at every wait; read at all hours; read within leisure; read in times of labor; read as one goes in; read as one goest out. The task of the educated mind is simply put: read to lead.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero Quotes

204. “I’m getting older, and it happens. You don’t care as much. I don’t care about too much anymore. I’ve got to think about that a little bit.” — Adam Sandler

205. “I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” -Andy Rooney

206. “Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life. They are what we have been through and who we want to be.” ― Lauren Hutton

207. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Shirley Maclaine

208. “People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.” - George Burns

209. “I like getting older. When you’re in your twenties you’re really forging for your future. Things take shape later on.” — Crispin Glover

210. “Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.” -George Burns

211. “Aging gracefully is about no heavy makeup, and not too much powder because it gets into the wrinkles, and, you know, to not get turtle eyelids and to not try to look young.” Iris Apfel

212. “Poor is the nation that has no heroes, but poorer still is the nation that having heroes, fails to remember and honor them.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

213. “A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.'” -Claude Pepper

214. “Just as the soul fills the body, so God fills the world. Just as the soul bears the body, so God endures the world. Just as the soul sees but is not seen, so God sees but is not seen. Just as the soul feeds the body, so God gives food to the world.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

215. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.

216. “Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.” – Conan O’Brien

217. Don't waste so much time thinking about how much you weigh. There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living.

218. “‘We already are old,’ she said with a sigh. What happens is that you don’t feel it on the inside, but from the outside everybody can see it.” – Gabriel García Márquez

219. “What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage. The mere act of believing that some wrongful course of action constitutes an advantage is pernicious.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

220. “I’m turning thirty this year. And you know the saying, a woman over thirty is more likely to get hit by a bomb than find a man.” — Fanny Fink

221. “Friendship arises from nature as such, rather than from some neediness: from the application of the mind, along with a kind of love, rather than from thinking about how much advantage the relationships might bring.”

222. “It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgment.”

223. “Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.” — Franklin Pierce Adams

224. “Why are people afraid of getting older? You feel wiser. You feel more mature. You feel like you know yourself better. You would trade that for softer skin? Not me!” – Anna Kournikova

225. “Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.” – George Burns

226. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.” -Agatha Christie

227. “If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old.” – James A. Garfield

228. “You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’” — Jerry Seinfeld

229. ...the High King's court needs a jester... But not me. No, not Cicero. The Fool of Hearts is busy enough, thank you very much...

230. Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.

231. People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass.

232. “I have always been of the opinion that unpopularity earned by doing what is right is not unpopularity at all, but glory.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

233. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn’t have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.

234. “but one loses, as one grows older, something of the lightness of one’s dreams; one begins to take life up in both hands, and to care more for the fruit than the flower, and that is no great loss perhaps.” W.B. Yeats

235. “Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.” -Maggie Kuhn

236. “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” – Ann Landers

237. “Saturday night used to be all about parties and staying up late, but now they’re all about pajamas and going to bed early. Ah, the joys of getting older!”

238. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Sir Norman Wisdom

239. ... law in the proper sense is right reason in harmony with nature. It is spread through the whole human community, unchanging and eternal, calling people to their duty by its commands and deterring them from wrong-doing by its prohibitions. When it addresses a good man, its commands and prohibitions are never in vain; but those same commands and prohibitions have no effect on the wicked. This law cannot be countermanded, nor can it be in any way amended, nor can it be totally rescinded. We cannot be exempted from this law by any decree of the Senate or the people, nor do we need anyone else to expound or explain it. There will not be one such law in Rome and another in Athens, one now and another in the future, but all peoples at all times will be embraced by a single eternal and unchangeable law; and there will be, as it were, one lord and master of us all -- the god who is the author, proposer, and interpreter of that law. Whoever refuses to obey it will be turning his back on himiself. Because he has denied his nature as a human being he will face the gravest penalties for this alone, even if he succeeds in avoiding all the other things that are regarded as punishments ...

240. “Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!” Ingrid Bergman

241. “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” Andy RooneyUnknown

242. “Vicious habits are so odious and degrading that they transform the individual who practices them into an incarnate demon.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

243. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.” -Golda Meir

244. “Something pretty… that’s just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don’t worry about it.” Jeanne Moreau

245. People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

246. “Someone once said that you can make the choice between getting old and getting creepy, and I think getting old is the way to go.” ― Kate Beckinsale

247. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” Ogden Nash

248. “Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” – Groucho Marx

249. “Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideas. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Samuel Ullman

250. “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.” -George Carlin

251. “Aging is an inevitable process. I surely wouldn’t want to grow younger. The older you become the more you know. Your bank account of knowledge is much richer.” – William M Holden

252. “It is the character of a brave and resolute person not to be ruffled by adversity, and not to desert their post.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

253. “As we get older, the wounds that hurt us the most aren’t the ones on our knees or our elbows. It’s the wounds to our pride that take the longest to heal. But luckily, time is a great healer – and a lousy beautician!”

254. “Read at every wait; read at all hours; read within leisure; read in times of labor; read as one goes in; read as one goest out. The task of the educated mind is simply put: read to lead.”

255. “I have always been of the opinion that unpopularity earned by doing what is right is not unpopularity at all but glory.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

256. “You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair.” – Douglas MacArthur

257. “I have always been of the opinion that unpopularity earned by doing what is right is not unpopularity at all, but glory.”

258. “As you get older, you realize that nice things are overrated. Give me a comfortable chair, a good book, and a few close friends any day.”

259. “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” – Leo Rosenberg

260. “I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.” - Robert Brault

261. “The trouble is, when a number—your age—becomes your identity, you’ve given away your power to choose your future.” Richard J. Leider

262. “There exists a law, not written down anywhere but inborn in our hearts; a law which comes to us not by training or custom or reading but by derivation and absorption and adoption from nature itself; a law which has come to us not from theory but from practice, not by instruction but by natural intuition. I refer to the law which lays it down that, if our lives are endangered by plots or violence or armed robbers or enemies, any and every method of protecting ourselves is morally right.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero