700 Best Susan Cain Quotes To Inspire Introverts (2023)

1. “It was a mystery with one intriguing clue: programmers from the same companies performed at more or less the same level, even though they hadn’t worked together. That’s because top performers overwhelmingly worked for companies that gave their workers the most privacy, personal space, control over their physical environments, and freedom from interruption.”

2. “When you go to a football game and someone offers you a beer, they're really saying hi, have a glass of extroversion.”

3. “It was only when God paired him up with his extroverted brother Aaron that Moses agreed to take on the assignment. Moses would be the speechwriter, the behind-the-scenes guy, the Cyrano de Bergerac; Aaron would be the public face of the operation. “It will be as if he were your mouth,” said God, “and as if you were God to him.”

4. One genuine new relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.

5. “Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.”

6. “‘It’s not that I’m not smart,’ said Einstein, who was a consummate introvert. ‘It’s that I stay with problems longer.’” p.169

7. “But buzz also has considerable downsides. “Everyone assumes that it’s good to accentuate positive emotions, but that isn’t correct,” the psychology professor Richard Howard told me, pointing to the example of soccer victories that end in violence and property damage. “A lot of antisocial and self-defeating behavior results from people who amplify positive emotions.”

8. “‘Restorative niche’ is Professor Little’s term for the place you go when you want to return to your true self. It can be a physical place…or a temporal one…” ― Susan Cain

9. “human extroverts have more sex partners than introverts do—a boon to any species wanting to reproduce itself—but they commit more adultery and divorce more frequently, which is not a good thing for the children of all those couplings. Extroverts exercise more, but introverts suffer fewer accidents and traumatic injuries. Extroverts enjoy wider networks of social support, but commit more crimes.”

10. “Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas.”

11. “Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe.”

12. “The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall of two hundred people might blog to two thousand, or two million, without thinking twice. The same person who finds it difficult to introduce himself to strangers might establish a presence online and then extend these relationships into the real world.”

13. “There is no one more courageous than the person who speaks with the courage of his convictions.”

14. “If you live in a collective, then things will go a lot more smoothly if you behave with restraint, even submission…From a Western perspective, it can be hard to see what’s so attractive about submitting to the will of others. But what looks to a Westerner like subordination can seem like basic politeness to many Asians.” p.189

15. “Now that you're an adult, you might still feel a pang of guilt when you decline a dinner invitation in favor of a good book. Or maybe you like to eat alone in restaurants and could do without the pitying looks from fellow diners. Or you're told that you're "in your head too much", a phrase that's often deployed against the quiet and cerebral.

16. “Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality. Some people are like extroverts, but the effort costs them in energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof or self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama.”

17. “Solitude matters, and for some people, it's the air they breathe”

18. By the time I was old enough to figure out that I was simply introverted, it was a part of my being, the assumption that there is something inherently wrong with me. I wish I could find that little vestige of doubt and remove it.

19. “Without introverts, the world would be devoid of: the theory of gravity the theory of relativity W. B. Yeats’s “The Second Coming” Chopin’s nocturnes Proust’s In Search of Lost Time Peter Pan Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm The Cat in the Hat Charlie Brown Schindler’s List, E.T., and Close Encounters of the Third Kind”

20. The next generation of quiet kids can and must be raised to know their own strengths.

21. “Indeed, your biggest challenge may be to fully harness your strengths. You may be so busy trying to appear like a zestful, reward-sensitive extrovert that you undervalue your own talents, or feel underestimated by those around you. But when you’re focused on a project that you care about, you probably find that your energy is boundless.” ― Susan Cain

22. “This style of teaching reflects the business community,” one fifth-grade teacher in a Manhattan public school told me, “where people’s respect for others is based on their verbal abilities, not their originality or insight. You have to be someone who speaks well and calls attention to yourself. It’s an elitism based on something other than merit.”

23. “Purification and redemption are such recurrent themes in ritual because there is a clear and ubiquitous need for them: we all do regrettable things as a result of our own circumstances, and new rituals are frequently invented in response to new circumstances.”

24. “The lesson, says [management theorist, Jim Collins], is clear. We don’t need giant personalities to transform companies. We need leaders who build not their own egos but the institutions they run.” ― Susan Cain

25. “Imagine how much better you’ll be at this sweet=spot game once you’re aware of playing it. You can set up your work, your hobbies, and your social life so that you spend as much time inside your sweet-spot as possible. People who are aware of their sweet spots have the power to leave jobs that exhaust them and start new and satisfying businesses.” p.125

26. “Use your natural powers - of persistence, concentration, and insight - to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, and think deeply”

27. “What if you love knowledge for its own sake, not necessarily as a blueprint to action? What if you wish there were more, not fewer reflective types in the world?” ― Susan Cain

28. “Many shy people turn inward, partly as a refuge from the socializing that causes them such anxiety. And many introverts are shy, partly as a result of receiving the message that there’s something wrong with their preference for reflection, and partly because their physiologies, as we’ll see, compel them to withdraw from high-stimulation environments.”

29. “When your conscientiousness impels you to take on more than you can handle, you begin to lose interest, even in tasks that normally engage you. You risk your physical health. 'Emotional labor,' which is the effort we make to control and change our own emotions, is associated with stress, burnout, and even physical symptoms like and increase in cardiovascular disease.”

30. “Extroverts get better grades than introverts during elementary school, but introverts outperform extroverts in high school and college.”

31. “It’s just the most amazing thing to see the introvert revolution literally remaking the way we organize society — this time, the world of book clubs.”

32. “...some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and...some humans are just the same.”

33. “By 1950, the slogan of he Mid-Century White House Conference on Children and Youth was "A healthy personality for every child.”

34. “Some people are more certain of everything than I am of anything.

35. “Some of the world’s most talented people are introverts. Without them we wouldn’t have the Apple computer, the theory of relativity or Van Gogh’s sunflowers.”

36. If you’re an introvert, find your flow by using your gifts. You have the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems, and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls that trip others up.

37. “But the more interesting aspect of this puzzling behavior is not what the extroverts do before they’ve hit the wrong button, but what they do after. When introverts hit the number nine button and find they’ve lost a point, they slow down before moving on to the next number, as if to reflect on what went wrong. But extroverts not only fail to slow down, they actually speed up.”

38. “shy and introverted people might choose to spend their days in behind-the-scenes pursuits like inventing, or researching, or”

39. “We failed to realize that what makes sense for the asynchronous, relatively anonymous interactions of the Internet might not work as well inside the face-to-face, politically charged, acoustically noisy confines of an open-plan office. Instead of distinguishing between online and in-person interaction, we used the lessons of one to inform our thinking about the other.”

40. “Naked lions are just as dangerous as elegantly dressed ones”

41. “University admissions officers looked not for the most exceptional candidates, but for the most extroverted. Harvard’s provost Paul Buck declared in the late 1940s that Harvard should reject the “sensitive, neurotic” type and the “intellectually over-stimulated” in favor of boys of the “healthy extrovert kind.”

42. “Even though we can reach for the outer limits of our temperaments, it can often be better to situate ourselves squarely inside our comfort zones. . . .

43. “Flow is an optimal state in which you feel totally engaged in an activity…In a state of flow, you’re neither bored nor anxious, and you don’t question your own adequacy. Hours pass without your noticing.” ― Susan Cain

44. “(Finland is a famously introverted nation. Finnish joke: How can you tell if a Finn likes you? He’s staring at your shoes instead of his own.)” ― Susan Cain

45. “We know from myths and fairy tales that there are many different kinds of powers in this world. One child is given a light saber, another a wizard’s education. The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of power, but to use well the kind you’ve been granted.” ― Susan Cain

46. “Naked lions are just as dangerous as elegantly dressed ones” ― Susan Cain

47. “Introversion is also very different from Asperger's syndrome, the autism spectrum disorder that involves difficulties with social interactions such as reading facial expressions and body language.... unlike people with Asperger's, introverts often have strong social skills. Compared with the one third to one half of Americans who are introverts, only one in five thousand people has Asperger's.”

48. “Most great ideas spring from solitude.”

49. “But the same receptivity to experience that can make life difficult for the highly sensitive also builds their consciences. Aron tells of one sensitive teen who persuaded his mother to feed a homeless person he’d met in the park, and of another eight-year-old who cried”

50. “In our culture, snails are not considered valiant animals – we are constantly exhorting people to “come out of their shells” – but there’s a lot to be said for taking your home with you wherever you go.”

51. “where we stumble is where our treasure lies.

52. “Introverts are uniquely good at leading initiative-takers. Because of their inclination to listen to others and lack of interest in dominating social situations, introverts are more likely to hear and implement suggestions.”

53. “the word satyagraha implies, Gandhi’s passivity was not weakness at all. It meant focusing on an ultimate goal and refusing to divert energy to unnecessary skirmishes along the way.”

54. “Understanding your sweet spot can increase your satisfaction in every arena of your life, but it goes even further than that. Evidence suggests that sweet spots can have life-or-death consequences.”

55. “Aron and a team of scientists have also found that when sensitive people see faces of people experiencing strong feelings, they have more activation than others do in areas of the brain associated with empathy and with trying to control strong emotions. It’s as if, like Eleanor Roosevelt, they can’t help but feel what others feel.”

56. “If you’re an introvert, find your flow by using your gifts. You have the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems, and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls that trip others up. You enjoy relative freedom from the temptations of superficial prizes like money and status.”

57. “Studie dokázaly, že třetina až polovina z nás jsou introverti. To znamená, že ve třídě máte víc introvertních dětí, než si myslíte.”

58. “I want to change the world in my own way. So I do stuff that’s artificial. I don’t really like being the guest at someone else’s party, because then I have to be entertaining. But I’ll host parties because it puts you at the center of things without actually being a social person.”

59. “We often marvel at how introverted, geeky, kid ‘blossom’ into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it’s not the children who change but their environments. As adults they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don’t have to live in whatever culture they’er plunked into.”

60. “I realize it’s not true that I’m no longer shy; I’ve just learned to talk myself down from the ledge”

61. “Should we become so proficient at self-presentation that we can dissemble without anyone suspecting? Must we learn to stage-manage our voices, gestures, and body language until we can tell—sell—any story we want? These seem venal aspirations, a marker of how far we’ve come—and not in a good way—since”

62. “The wind howls, but the mountain remains still.”

63. “The highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. They dislike small talk. They”

64. “Of course, there’s another word for such people: thinkers.”

65. “[P]arents need to step back from their own preferences and see what the world looks like to their quiet children.”

66. “If you’re a teacher, enjoy your gregarious and participatory students. But don’t forget to cultivate the shy, the gentle, the autonomous, the ones with single-minded enthusiasms for chemistry sets or parrot taxonomy or nineteenth-century art. They are the artists, engineers, and thinkers of tomorrow.”

67. (2) production blockage: only one person can talk or produce an idea at once, while the other group members are forced to sit passively. (3) evaluation apprehension: self-consciousness in front of one’s peers. — ibid

68. “Extroverts, in other words, are characterized by their tendency to seek rewards, from top dog status to sexual highs to cold cash.”

69. “Pubescenti, kteří jsou příliš společenští na to, aby trávili čas o samotě, často nedokážou rozvinout vlastní talent, „ protože cvičení v hudbě nebo studium matematiky vyžadují samotu, které se oni děsí“.”

70. “We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts—which means that we’ve lost sight of who we really are.”

71. “extroverted leaders enhance group performance when employees are passive, but that introverted leaders are more effective with proactive employees.”

72. “A pocit trapnosti je podle Keltnera morální emoce. Ukazuje pokoru, skromnost a touhu vyhnout se agresi a uzavřít mír. Nejde tedy o izolaci člověka, který se cítí zahanben (někdy to tak lidem, kteří snadno zčervenají, připadá), ale o spojování lidí.”

73. “As Jung speculated almost a century ago about the two types, ‘the one [extroversion] consists in a high rate of fertility, with low powers of defense and short duration of life for the single individual; the other [introversion] consists in equipping the individual with numerous means of self-preservation plus a low fertility rate.’” ― Susan Cain

74. “It may also help explain why they’re so bored by small talk. “If you’re thinking in more complicated ways,” she told me, “then talking about the weather or where you went for the holidays is not quite as interesting as talking about values or morality.”

75. “Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.”

76. “I could literally go years without having any friends except for my wife and kids,” he says. “Look at you and me. You’re one of my best friends, and how many times do we actually talk—when you call me! I don’t like socializing.”

77. “personal opinions are often a simple reflection of cultural bias.”

78. “Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured.” ― Susan Cain

79. “Maybe the mystery of what percent of personality is nature and what percent nurture is less important than the question of how your inborn temperament interacts with the environment and with your own free will. To what degree is temperament destiny?”

80. “[The author] has found that there are three key steps to identifying your own core personal projects: (1) think back to what you loved to do when you were a child. (2) pay attention to the work you gravitate to. (3) pay attention to what you envy.” ― Susan Cain

81. “I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they’re good talkers, but they don’t have good ideas,” he said.”

82. “Psychopaths and heroes are twigs on the same genetic branch.”

83. “Greeters wearing UPW T-shirts and ecstatic smiles line the entrance, springing up and down, fists pumping. You can’t get inside without slapping them five. I know, because I try.”

84. “Our culture is biased against quiet and reserved people, but introverts are responsible for some of humanity's greatest achievements.”

85. “A shy man no doubt dreads the notice of strangers, but can hardly be said to be afraid of them. He may be as bold as a hero in battle, and yet have no self-confidence about trifles in the presence of strangers.”

86. “The truth is that many schools are designed for extroverts.”

87. “A reward-sensitive person is highly motivated to seek rewards—from a promotion to a lottery jackpot to an enjoyable evening out with friends. Reward sensitivity motivates us to pursue goals like sex and money, social status and influence.”

88. “The New Groupthink elevates teamwork above all else. It insists that creativity and intellectual achievement come from a gregarious place.”

89. “Watson-Glaser Critical Thinking Appraisal test,”

90. “We're told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts -- which means that we've lost sight of who we really are. Depending on which study you consult, one-third to one half of Americans are introverts -- in other words one out of every two or three people you know.”

91. There's a word for 'people who are in their heads too much': thinkers.

92. “To advance our careers, we’re expected to promote ourselves unabashedly.”

93. “As Jung felicitously put it, “There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.”

94. “FDR, elected at the start of the Depression, is remembered for his compassion. But it was Eleanor who made sure he knew how suffering Americans felt.”

95. “Other people would get louder and louder, and I would get quieter and quieter.”

96. “Many introverts seem to know these things instinctively, and resist being herded together.”

97. “I use a lot of old-fashioned expressions.”

98. But in the long run, staying true to your temperament is key to finding work you love and work that matters.

99. “it makes sense that introverts are uniquely good at leading initiative-takers. Because of their inclination to listen to others and lack of interest in dominating social situations, introverts are more likely to hear and implement suggestions.”

100. “We tend to think of coolness as a pose that you strike with a pair of sunglasses, a nonchalant attitude, and drink in hand. But maybe we didn’t choose these social accessories at random. Maybe we’ve adopted dark glasses, relaxed body language, and alcohol as signifiers precisely because they camouflage signs of a nervous system on overdrive.”

101. “Open-plan offices have been found to reduce productivity and impair memory. They’re associated with high staff turnover. They make people sick, hostile, unmotivated, and insecure.”

102. “For many introverts like David, adolescence is the great stumbling place, the dark and tangled thicket of low self-esteem and social unease. In middle and high school, the main currency is vivacity and gregariousness; attributes like depth and sensitivity don’t count for much.”

103. “Flow is an optimal state in which you feel totally engaged in an activity... In a state of flow, you're neither bored nor anxious, and you don't question your own adequacy. Hours pass without your noticing.”

104. “High-reactive introverts sweat more; low-reactive extroverts sweat less. Their skin is literally "thicker," more impervious to stimuli, cooler to the touch. In fact, according to some of the scientists I spoke to, this is where our notion of being socially "cool" comes from; the lower-reactive you are, the cooler your skin, the cooler you are.”

105. “When people are skilled at adopting free traits, it can be hard to believe that they’re acting out of character. Professor Little’s students are usually incredulous when he claims to be an introvert. But Little is far from unique; many people, especially those in leadership roles, engage in a certain level of pretend-extroversion.”

106. “In this chapter I focused on the dopamine-driven reward system and its role in delivering life's goodies. But there's a mirror-image brain network, often called the loss avoidance system, whose job it is to call our attention to risk. If the reward network chases shiny fruit, the loss avoidance system worries about bad apples.”

107. “The Chautauqua movement, born in 1873 and based in upstate New York, sends gifted speakers across the country to lecture on literature, science, and religion. Rural Americans prize these presenters for the whiff of glamour they bring from the outside world- and their power to mesmerize an audience.” p.19

108. “Valentine’s concept of introversion includes traits that contemporary psychology would classify as openness to experience (“thinker, dreamer”), conscientiousness (“idealist”), and neuroticism (“shy individual”).

109. “Introverts often have one or two deep interests that are not necessarily shared by their peers. Sometimes they’re made to feel freaky for the force of these passions, when in fact studies show that this sort of intensity is a prerequisite to talent development. Praise these kids for their interests, encourage them, and help them find like-minded friends, if not in the classroom, then outside it.”

110. “the orchid hypothesis” by David Dobbs in a wonderful article in The Atlantic. This theory holds that many children are like dandelions, able to thrive in just about any environment. But others, including the high-reactive types that Kagan studied, are more like orchids: they wilt easily, but under the right conditions can grow strong and magnificent.”

111. “We’re built to live simultaneously in love and loss, bitter and sweet.”

112. “In couples where the man is introverted and the woman extroverted, as with Sarah and Bob, we often mistake personality conflicts for gender difference,”

113. “One new honest-to-goodness relationship is worth ten fistfuls of business cards.”

114. “As she grew older and ventured outside her family's orbit, she continued to notice things about herself that seemed different from the norm. She could drive alone for hours and never turn on the radio. She had trouble finding the sacred in the everyday; it seemed to be there only when she withdrew from the world.”

115. “Use your natural powers—of persistence, concentration, and insight—to do work you love and work that matters.”

116. “And it suggests, says Jadzia Jagiellowicz, the lead scientist at Stony Brook, that sensitive types think in an unusually complex fashion. It may also help explain why they’re so bored by small talk. “If you’re thinking in more complicated ways,” she told me, “then talking about the weather or where you went for the holidays is not quite as interesting as talking about values or morality.”

117. “It’s always been private occasions that make me feel connected to the joys and sorrows of the world, often in the form of communion with writers and musicians I’ll never meet in person. Proust called these moments of unity between writer and reader “that fruitful miracle of a communication in the midst of solitude.”

118. “But in the long run, staying true to your temperament is key to finding work you love and work that matters.”

119. “College students who tend to study alone learn more over time than those who work in groups.”

120. “it’s always been private occasions that make me feel connected to the joys and sorrows of the world,”

121. “Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.” ― Susan Cain

122. “It’s also vital to recognize that many people—especially introverts like Steve Wozniak—need extra quiet and privacy in order to do their best work.”

123. “America had shifted from what the influential cultural historian Warren Susman called a Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality”

124. “I believe that introversion is my greatest strength. I have such a strong inner life that I’m never bored and only occasionally lonely. No matter what mayhem is happening around me, I know I can always turn inward.”

125. “Once you understand introversion and extroversion as preferences for certain levels of stimulation, you can begin consciously trying to situate yourself in environments favorable to your personality — neither overstimulating nor under-stimulating, neither boring nor anxiety — making.” p.124

126. “Figure out what you are meant to contribute to the world and make sure you contribute it. If this requires public speaking or networking or other activities that make you uncomfortable, do them anyway. But accept that they’re difficult, get the training you need to make them easier, and reward yourself when you’re done.” ― Susan Cain

127. “The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—the kind who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.”

128. “In fact, a recent fMRI study shows that when people use self-talk to reassess upsetting situations, activity in their prefrontal cortex increases in an amount correlated with a decrease of activity in their amygdala.”

129. “As children, our classroom desks are increasingly arranged in pods, the better to foster group learning, and research suggests that the vast majority of teachers believe that the ideal student is an extrovert.”

130. “Extroverti přemýšlejí nahlas a za pochodu. Raději hovoří než poslouchají, zřídkakdy jim dojdou slova a tu a tam z nich vypadne něco, co nikdy říct nechtěli. Snášejí dobře konflikt, ale nikoliv samotu.”

131. “Love is essential; gregariousness is optional. Cherish your nearest and dearest. Work with colleagues you like and respect. Scan new acquaintances for those who might fall into the former categories or whose company you enjoy for its own sake. And don't worry about socializing with everyone else. Relationships make everyone happier, introverts included, but think quality over quantity.”

132. “Flow is an optimal state in which you feel totally engaged in an activity… In a state of flow, you’re neither bored nor anxious, and you don’t question your own adequacy. Hours pass without your noticing.”

133. “Will this job allow me to spend time on in-character activities like, for example, reading, strategizing, writing, and researching? Will I have a private workspace or be subject to the constant demands of an open office plan? If the job doesn’t give me enough restorative niches, will I have enough free time on evenings and weekends to grant them to myself?”

134. “In mass, [children] terrify me,” he admitted.”

135. “Opposites attract, and I think temperament is so fundamental that you end up craving someone of the opposite temperament to complete you.”

136. “introverts function better than extroverts when sleep deprived, which is a cortically de-arousing condition”

137. “Students take ownership of their education when they learn from one another.”

138. “[The author] has found that there are three key steps to identifying your own core personal projects: (1) think back to what you loved to do when you were a child. (2) pay attention to the work you gravitate to. (3) pay attention to what you envy.” p.218

139. “If you had gathered the same people who created Linux, installed them in a giant conference room for a year, and asked them to devise a new operating system, it’s doubtful that anything so revolutionary would have occurred”

140. “A man has as many social selves as there are distinct groups of persons about whose opinion he cares. He generally shows a different side of himself to each of these different groups. —WILLIAM JAMES”

141. “Work alone. You’re going to be best able to design revolutionary products and features if you’re working on your own. Not on a committee. Not on a team.”

142. “I don’t really like being the guest at someone else’s party, because then I have to be entertaining. But I’ll host parties because it puts you at the center of things without actually being a social person.”

143. “In the United States, [Don] feels, conversation is about how effective you are turning your experiences into stories, whereas a Chinese person might be concerned with taking up too much of the other person’s time with inconsequential information…” ― Susan Cain

144. “Introverts need to trust their gut and share their ideas as powerfully as they can. This does not mean aping extroverts; ideas can be shared quietly, they can be communicated in writing, they can be packaged into highly produced lectures, they can be advanced by allies. The trick for introverts is to honor their own styles instead of allowing themselves to be swept up by prevailing norms.”

145. “But what if some kids are less prone to anxiety than others, as is true of extremely low-reactive kids? Often the best way to teach these children values is to give them positive role models and to channel their fearlessness into productive activities.”

146. “the medium is not always the message; and that people followed Moses because his words were thoughtful, not because he spoke them well.”

147. “The most effective leaders are not motivated by a desire to control events or to be in the spotlight. They are motivated by the desire to advance ideas and new ways of looking at the world, or to improve the situation of a group of people.”

148. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk.”

149. “She had trouble finding the sacred in the everyday; it seemed to be there only when she withdrew from the world.”

150. “It’s not that I’m so smart,” said Einstein, who was a consummate introvert. “It’s that I stay with problems longer.” ― Susan Cain

151. “The high-reactive babies were not misanthropes in the making; they were simply sensitive to their environments.”

152. “Introverts feel ‘just right’ with less stimulation, as when they sip wine with a close friend, solve a crossword puzzle, or read a book. Extroverts enjoy the extra bang that comes from activities like meeting new people, skiing slippery slopes, and cranking up the stereo.”

153. “[Harvard Business School] grads likely have influenced your life in ways you’re not aware of/ They have decided who should go to war and when; they have resolved the fate of Detroit’s auto industry, they play leading roles in just about every crisis to shake Wall Street, Main Street, and Pennsylvania Avenue.” p.44

154. “The “evidence from science suggests that business people must be insane to use brainstorming groups,” writes the organizational psychologist Adrian Furnham. “If you have talented and motivated people, they should be encouraged to work alone when creativity or efficiency is the highest priority.”

155. “We often marvel at how introverted, geeky, kid 'blossom' into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it's not the children who change but their environments. As adults they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don't have to live in whatever culture they'er plunked into.”

156. “solitude is an important key to creativity—then we might all want to develop a taste for it. We’d want to teach our kids to work independently. We’d want to give employees plenty of privacy and autonomy. Yet increasingly we do just the opposite.”

157. “Charlie Ledley and Jamie Mai, whose entire investment strategy was based on FUD: they placed bets that had limited downside, but would pay off handsomely if dramatic but unexpected changes occurred in the market.”

158. “You’re told that you’re in your head too much, a phrase that’s often deployed against the quiet and cerebral. Or maybe there’s another word for such people: thinkers.”

159. “What is the inner behavior of people whose most visible feature is that when you take them to a party they aren't very pleased about it?”

160. “Even businesses that employ many artists, designers, and other imaginative types often display a preference for extroversion. ‘We want to attract creative people,’ the director of human resources at a major media company told me. When [the author] asked what she meant by ‘creative,’ she answered without missing a beat, ‘You have to be outgoing, fun, and jazzed up to work here.’” ― Susan Cain

161. “Yet today we make room for a remarkably narrow range of personality styles. We’re told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts—which means that we’ve lost sight of who we really are.”

162. “It’s never a good idea to organize society in a way that depletes the energy of half the population.”

163. “Westerners value boldness and verbal skill, traits that promote individuality, while Asians prize quiet, humility, and sensitivity, which foster group cohesion. If you live in a collective, then things will go a lot more smoothly if you behave with restraint, even submission.”

164. “Introverts are offered keys to private gardens full of riches. To possess such a key is to tumble like Alice down her rabbit hole.”

165. There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.

166. “If you enjoy depth, don’t force yourself to seek breadth. If you prefer single-tasking to multi-tasking, stick to your guns.”

167. “Evangelicalism has taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme, McHugh is telling us. If you don’t love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It’s not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the divine; it must be displayed publicly. Is it any wonder that introverts like Pastor McHugh start to question their own hearts?”

168. “Nossa percepção é de que pessoas falantes são mais inteligentes que as quietas — apesar de notas, resultados de vestibular e testes de inteligência revelarem que essa percepção é equivocada.”

169. “...true self-esteem comes from competence, not the other way around.”

170. “But exceptional performance depends not only on the groundwork we lay through Deliberate Practice; it also requires the right working conditions. And in contemporary workplaces, these are surprisingly hard to come by.”

171. “She also knows full well that "shy" is a negative word in our society. Above all, do not shame her for her shyness.”

172. “It’s an authentic and elevating response to the problem of being alive in a deeply flawed yet stubbornly beautiful world.”

173. “Everything that you love, you will eventually lose. But in the end, love will return in a different form.”

174. “The pressure to entertain, to sell ourselves, and never to be visibly anxious keeps ratcheting up.” ― Susan Cain

175. “...if you can think of meetings you've attended, you can probably recall a time - plenty of times - when the opinion of the most dynamic or talkative person prevailed to the detriment of all.”

176. “A more recent study, published by the Center for Applications of Psychological Type Research Services in 1996 sampled 914,219 people and found that 49.3 percent were extroverts and 50.7 percent were introverts.”

177. “Whatever pain you can’t get rid of, make it your creative offering.”

178. “In our culture, guilt is a tainted word, but it’s probably one of the building blocks of conscience. The anxiety these highly sensitive toddlers feel upon apparently breaking the toy gives them the motivation to avoid harming someone’s plaything the next time.”

179. “Her idea of a perfect start to the weekend is a quiet evening at the movies, just her and Greg.”

180. “learned to not worry so much about the outcome,”

181. “Brainstorming had four rules: 1. Don’t judge or criticize ideas. 2. Be freewheeling. The wilder the idea, the better. 3. Go for quantity. The more ideas you have, the better. 4. Build on the ideas of fellow group members.”

182. “Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating.”

183. “Love is essential; gregariousness is optional. Cherish your nearest and dearest. Work with colleagues you like and respect. Scan new acquaintances for those who might fall into the former categories or whose company you enjoy for its own sake. And don’t worry about socializing with everyone else. Relationships make everyone happier, introverts included, but think quality over quantity.”

184. “There comes a time when people get tired of being pushed out of the glittering sunlight of life’s July and left standing amidst the piercing chill of an Alpine November”

185. Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.

186. “Should we become so proficient at self-presentation that we can dissemble without anyone suspecting?”

187. “We have a two-tier class system when it comes to personality style. To devalue introversion is a waste of talent, energy and happiness.”

188. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting.” ― Susan Cain

189. “Gandhi himself ultimately rejected the phrase “passive resistance,” which he associated with weakness, preferring satyagraha, the term he coined to mean “firmness in pursuit of truth.”

190. “All the comments from childhood still ring in my ears, that I was lazy, stupid, slow, boring.”

191. “It’s not that I’m so smart,” said Einstein, who was a consummate introvert. “It’s that I stay with problems longer.”

192. Introversion – along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness – is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.

193. “conformists showed less brain activity in the frontal, decision-making regions and more in the areas of the brain associated with perception. Peer pressure, in other words, is not only unpleasant, but can actually change your view of a problem.”

194. “Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.”

195. “BOSS TO TED AND ALICE. Ted, I’m sending Alice to the sales conference because she thinks faster on her feet than you. TED. (speechless) … BOSS. So, Alice, we’ll send you on Thursday— TED. She does not!”

196. “It’s so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone seems like a good presenter, easy to get along with, and those traits are rewarded. Well, why is that? They’re valuable traits, but we put too much of a premium on presenting and not enough on substance and critical thinking.”

197. “But the catharsis hypothesis is a myth— a plausible one, an elegant one, but a myth nonetheless. Scores of studies have shown that venting doesn’t soothe anger; it fuels it.”

198. “.” But with their natural ability to inspire, extroverted leaders are better at getting results from more passive workers.”

199. “The amount of space per employee shrank from 500 square feet in the 1970s to 200 square feet in 2010, according to Peter Miscovich, a managing director at the real estate brokerage firm Jones Lang LaSalle.”

200. “I hide it better now, but I’m still just like my daughter,” she explained. “I can approach anyone, but only as long as I’m behind a journalist’s notebook.”

201. “What if you love knowledge for its own sake, not necessarily as a blueprint to action? What if you wish there were more, not fewer reflective types in the world?”

202. Quiet leadership' is not an oxymoron.

203. “Without introverts, the world would be devoid of: the theory of gravity the theory of relativity W. B. Yeats’s “The Second Coming” Chopin’s nocturnes Proust’s In Search of Lost Time Peter Pan Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm The Cat in the Hat Charlie Brown Schindler’s List, E.T., and Close Encounters of the Third Kind Google Harry Potter *”

204. “a 2010 University of Michigan study shows that college students today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago, with much of the drop having occurred since 2000. (The study’s authors speculate that the decline in empathy is related to the prevalence of social media, reality TV, and “hyper-competitiveness.”)”

205. “We know that there are physiological limits on who we are and how we act. But should we attempt to manipulate our behavior within the range available to us, or should we simply be true to ourselves? At what point does controlling our behavior become futile, or exhausting?”

206. “If your child prefers to work autonomously and socialize one-on-one, there’s nothing wrong with her; she just happens not to fit the prevailing model.”

207. “not uncomfortable with who they are, but are uncomfortable with expressing who they are. In a group, there’s always that pressure to be outgoing. When they don’t live up to it, you can see it in their faces.” Mike”

208. “Longing itself is divine,” writes the Hindu spiritual leader Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. “Longing for worldly things makes you inert. Longing for Infinity fills you with life. The skill is to bear the pain of longing and move on. True longing brings up spurts of bliss.”

209. “That was exactly what happened—the conformists showed less brain activity in the frontal, decision-making regions and more in the areas of the brain associated with perception. Peer pressure, in other words, is not only unpleasant, but can actually change your view of a problem.”

210. “Os introvertidos também não são necessariamente tímidos. Timidez é o medo da desaprovação social e da humilhação, enquanto a introversão é a preferência por ambientes que não sejam estimulantes demais. A timidez é inerentemente dolorosa; a introversão, não.”

211. “Persistence isn’t very glamorous. If genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration, then as a culture we tend to lionize the one percent. We love its flash and dazzle. But great power lies in the other ninety-nine percent. “It’s not that I’m so smart,” said Einstein, who was a consummate introvert. “It’s that I stay with problems longer.”

212. “the simple act of being interrupted is one of the biggest barriers to productivity.”

213. “The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness.”

214. “It’s so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent.”

215. “If you want your child to learn these skills, don’t let her hear you call her “shy”: she’ll believe the label and experience her nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an emotion she can control. She also knows full well that “shy” is a negative word in our society. Above all, do not shame her for her shyness.”

216. “Conviction is conviction, at whatever decibel level it is expressed.”

217. “Introversion – along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness – is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.”

218. “[A respected U.S. Air Force Commander] wasn’t concerned with getting credit or even with being in charge; he simply assigned work to those who could perform it best. This meant delegating some of his most interesting, meaningful, and important tasks — work that other leaders would have kept for themselves.” p.56

219. “There comes a time that people get tired of being trampled over by the iron feet of oppression,”

220. “We’re most passionate about that which we’re most denied, and these things manifest in the companies and teams we build. If you’ve been bullied, your whole life is trying to disprove the peers or family members who once tormented you. If you have deep insecurity, you might hire a lot of yes people.”

221. “Many introverted kids clam up in groups of strangers, and you will not get even a glimpse of what these kids are like once they’re relaxed and comfortable.”

222. “introverts function better than extroverts when sleep deprived, which is a cortically de-arousing condition (because losing sleep makes us less alert, active, and energetic”

223. “The upsides of the high-reactive temperament have been documented in exciting research that scientists are only now beginning to pull together. One of the most interesting findings, also reported in Dobbs’s Atlantic article, comes from the world of rhesus monkeys, a species that shares about 95 percent of its DNA with humans and has elaborate social structures that resemble our own.”

224. “Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth. You mostly envy those who have what you desire.” ― Susan Cain

225. “Emily lowers her voice and flattens her affect during fights with Greg, she thinks she’s being respectful by taking the trouble not to let her negative emotions show. But Greg thinks she’s checking”

226. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk.”

227. “You have to be someone who speaks well and calls attention to yourself. It's an elitism based on something other than merit.”

228. “That was exactly what happened—the conformists showed less brain activity in the frontal, decision-making regions and more in the areas of the brain associated with perception. Peer pressure, in other words, is not only unpleasant, but can actually change your view of a problem. These early findings suggest that groups are like mind-altering substances.”

229. “Love is essential, gregariousness is optional...The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers - of persistence, concentration, insight, and sensitivity - to do work you love and work that matters.”

230. “Buffett used to dread public speaking until he took a Dale Carnegie course”

231. “It was absorbing, it was exciting, and I got to meet a lot of interesting people whom I never would have known otherwise. But I was always an expatriate.”

232. “Open-plan offices have been found to reduce productivity and impair memory.”

233. “The place you suffer, in other words, is the same place you care profoundly—care enough to act.”

234. “the key to exceptional achievement. When you practice deliberately, you identify the tasks or knowledge that are just out of your reach, strive to upgrade your performance, monitor your progress, and revise accordingly. Practice sessions that fall short of this standard are not only less useful—they’re counterproductive. They reinforce existing cognitive mechanisms instead of improving them.”

235. “catharsis hypothesis”—that aggression builds up inside us until it’s healthily released—dates back to the Greeks, was revived by Freud, and gained steam during the “let it all hang out” 1960s of punching bags and primal screams. But the catharsis hypothesis is a myth—a plausible one, an elegant one, but a myth nonetheless. Scores of studies have shown that venting doesn’t soothe anger; it fuels it.”

236. “Introverts feel “just right” with less stimulation, as when they sip wine with a close friend, solve a crossword puzzle, or read a book. Extroverts enjoy the extra bang that comes from activities like meeting new people, skiing slippery slopes, and cranking up the stereo.”

237. “true self-esteem comes from competence, not the other way around.”

238. “we organize many of our most important institutions—our schools and our workplaces—tells a very different story. It’s the story of a contemporary phenomenon that I call the New Groupthink—a phenomenon that has the potential to stifle productivity at work and to deprive schoolchildren of the skills they’ll need to achieve excellence in an increasingly competitive world.”

239. “Contrary to the Harvard Business School model of vocal leadership, the ranks of effective CEOs turn out to be filled with introverts, including Charles Schwab; Bill Gates; Brenda Barnes, CEO of Sara Lee; and James Copeland, former CEO of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu.”

240. “We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.”

241. “The authors whose books get published - once accepted as a reclusive breed - are now vetted by publicists to make sure they're talk-show ready.”

242. “But Edgar is an avowed introvert. “I’d much rather sit and read and think about things than talk to people,” he says.”

243. “The third answer is the most difficult one to grasp, but it's also the one that can save you. The love you lost, or the love you wished for and never had: That love exists eternally. It shifts its shape, but it's always there. The task is to recognize it in its new form.”

244. “Finally, pay attention to what you envy. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth. You mostly envy those who have what you desire. I”

245. “Introverts need to trust their gut and share their ideas as powerfully as they can.”

246. “Extroverts, on the other hand, can be so intent on putting their own stamp on events that they risk losing others’ good ideas along the way and allowing workers to lapse into passivity. “Often the leaders end up doing a lot of the talking,” says Francesca Gino, “and not listening to any of the ideas that the followers are trying to provide”

247. We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.

248. “In a group, there’s always that pressure to be outgoing.”

249. “What underlies all this reward-seeking? The key seems to be positive emotion. Extroverts tend to experience more pleasure and excitement than introverts do” ― Susan Cain

250. “how did we go from Character to Personality without realizing that we had sacrificed something meaningful along the way?”

251. “Enjoyment appears at the boundary between boredom and anxiety, when the challenges are just balanced with the person’s capacity to act.

252. “Being relatively unmoved by rewards gives you the incalculable power to go your own way. It’s up to you to use that independence to good effect…Introverts need to trust their gut and share their ideas as powerfully as they can…The trick for introverts is to honor their own styles instead of allowing themselves to be sept up by prevailing norms.” ― Susan Cain

253. “We know from myths and fairy tales that there are many different kinds of powers in this world. One child is given a light saber, another a wizard's education. The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of power, but to use well the kind you've been granted.”

254. “Americans revered action and were suspicious of intellect, associating the life of the mind with the languid, ineffectual European aristocracy they had left behind.”

255. “They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation.”

256. “Iconoclast, the neuroeconomist Gregory Berns”

257. “Evangelicalism has taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme…If you don’t love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It’s not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the divine; it must be displayed publicly.” ― Susan Cain

258. “Social anxiety disorder”—which essentially means pathological shyness—is now thought to afflict nearly one in five of us. The most recent version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV), the psychiatrist’s bible of mental disorders, considers the fear of public speaking to be a pathology—not an annoyance, not a disadvantage, but a disease—if it interferes with the sufferer’s job performance.”

259. Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured.

260. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some it’s a Broadway spotlight;”

261. “If you don't love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It's not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the Divine. It must be displayed publicly.”

262. “Scores of studies have shown that venting doesn’t soothe anger; it fuels it.”

263. “...I also believe that introversion is my greatest strength. I have such a strong inner life that I’m never bored and only occasionally lonely. No matter what mayhem is happening around me, I know I can always turn inward.”

264. “The most effective teams are composed of a healthy mix of introverts and extroverts, studies show, and so are many leadership structures.”

265. “Outstanding introverted leaders, such as Charles Darwin, Marie Curie, Patrick White and Arthur Boyd, who have created either new fields of thought or rearranged existing knowledge, have spent long periods of their lives in solitude.”

266. “I’m insatiably curious about human nature. I feel very lucky that as a writer I get to learn so much about it just to do my job right.”

267. “Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions—from the theory of evolution to van Gogh’s sunflowers to the personal computer—came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.”

268. “Solitude is out of fashion. Our companies, our schools and our culture are in thrall to an idea I call the New Groupthink, which holds that creativity and achievement come from an oddly gregarious place.”

269. “In his book, Born to Be Good, Keltner even says that if he had to choose his mate by asking a single question at a speed-dating event, the question he would choose is: “What was your last embarrassing experience?” Then he would watch very carefully for lip-presses, blushing, and averted eyes.”

270. “If these statistics surprise you, that’s probably because so many people pretend to be extroverts.”

271. “He also suggests “No-Talk Thursdays,” one day a week in which employees aren’t allowed to speak to each other.”

272. “We don’t ask why God chose as his prophet a stutterer with a public speaking phobia. But we should. The book of Exodus is short on explication, but its stories suggest that introversion plays yin to the yang of extroversion; that the medium is not always the message; and that people followed Moses because his words were thoughtful, not because he spoke them well.”

273. “Saddleback also has one more thing in common with Harvard Business School: its debt to—and propagation of—the Culture of Personality.”

274. “So the next time you see a person with a composed face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet.”

275. “I told you not to bite,” said the swami, “but I did not tell you not to hiss.”

276. “The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall of two hundred people might blog to two thousand, or two million, without thinking twice. The same person who finds it difficult to introduce himself to strangers might establish a presence online and then extend these relationships into the real world.” ― Susan Cain

277. “Buffett is known for thinking carefully when those around him lose their heads. ‘Success in investing doesn’t correlate with IQ,’ he has said. ‘Once you have ordinary intelligence, what you need is the temperament to control the urges that get other people into trouble in investing.'”

278. “In fact, the very thing that many high-reactives hate most about blushing— its uncontrollability— is what makes it so socially useful. “Because it is impossible to control the blush intentionally,” Dijk speculates, blushing is an authentic sign of embarrassment. And embarrassment, according to Keltner, is a moral emotion. It shows humility, modesty, and a desire to avoid aggression and make peace.”

279. “It’s also important for companies to groom listeners”

280. “They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”

281. “In most settings, people use small talk as a way of relaxing into a new relationship, and only once they’re comfortable do they connect more seriously. Sensitive people seem to do the reverse. They “enjoy small talk only after they’ve gone deep,” says Strickland. “When sensitive people are in environments that nurture their authenticity, they laugh and chitchat just as much as anyone else.”

282. The authors whose books get published – once accepted as a reclusive breed – are now vetted by publicists to make sure they’re talk-show ready.

283. “knowledge is useless until it’s coupled with action.”

284. “At the university level, introversion predicts academic performance better than cognitive ability.”

285. “At IBM, a corporation that embodied the ideal of the company man, the sales force gathered each morning to belt out the company anthem, “Ever Onward,” and to harmonize on the “Selling IBM” song, set to the tune of “Singin’ in the Rain.”

286. “‘The contrast is striking,’ writes Michael Harris Bond, a cross-cultural psychologist who focuses on China. ‘The Americans emphasize sociability and prize those attributes that make for easy, cheerful association. The Chinese emphasize deeper attributes, focusing on moral virtues and achievement.’” ― Susan Cain

287. “Neptáme se, proč si Bůh zvolil jako svého proroka koktavého muže, co má strach mluvit na veřejnosti. Ale měli bychom. Kniha Exodus je na vysvětlení skoupá, ale její příběhy napovídají, že introverze je jako jin vůči jangu extraverze, že médium není vždy totožné se sdělením a že lidé šli za Mojžíšem, protože jeho slova byla uvážlivá, nikoliv proto, že by je uměl dobře podat.”

288. “can be hard for extroverts to understand how badly introverts need to recharge at the end of a busy day. We all empathize with a sleep-deprived mate who comes home from work too tired to talk, but it’s harder to grasp that social overstimulation can be just as exhausting. It’s also hard for introverts to understand just how hurtful their silence can be. I”

289. “Nobody is going to care who won or lost any election when the earth is uninhabitable.”

290. “America had shifted from what the influential cultural historian Warren Susman called a Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality—and opened up a Pandora’s”

291. “Introverts are drawn to the inner world of thought and feeling, said Jung, extroverts to the external life of people and activities”

292. “So the next time you see a person with a composed face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet.

293. “Po položení otázky pět sekund počkejte. Introverti tak dostanou čas i motivaci k přemýšlení.”

294. “Nobody is going to care who won or lost any election when the earth is uninhabitable.” - Al Gore”

295. “Evangelicalism has taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme...If you don't love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It's not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the divine; it must be displayed publicly.”

296. “All the comments from childhood still ring in my ears, that I was lazy, stupid, slow, boring,” writes a member of an e-mail list called Introvert Retreat. “By the time I was old enough to figure out that I was simply introverted, it was a part of my being, the assumption that there is something inherently wrong with me. I wish I could find that little vestige of doubt and remove it.”

297. “Caucasians, he said, seem to be “less afraid of other people thinking that what they said was too loud or too stupid.”

298. “If you're in the backyard sitting under a tree while everyone else is clinking glasses on the patio, you're more likely to have an apple fall on your head.”

299. “Stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don’t let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don’t force yourself to seek breadth.”

300. (2) production blockage: only one person can talk or produce an idea at once, while the other group members are forced to sit passively. (3) evaluation apprehension: self-consciousness in front of one’s peers. ― Susan Cain

301. “Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world,”

302. Why shouldn’t quiet be strong?

303. “We consume indie music and films, and generate our own online content. We “think different” (even if we got the idea from Apple Computer’s famous ad campaign).”

304. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk.”

305. “There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”

306. “kids stop learning when they feel emotionally threatened.”

307. “We don’t need giant personalities to transform companies. We need leaders who build not their own egos but the institutions they run.”

308. “‘In Asian cultures,’ [Communications coach, Professor Preston] Ni said, ‘there’s often a subtle way to get what you want. It’s not always aggressive, but it can be very determined and very skillful. in the end, much is achieved because of it. Aggressive power beats you up; soft power wins you over…’ ― Susan Cain

309. “For the early U.S. astronauts, having a low heart rate, which is associated with low reactivity, was a status symbol. Lieutenant Colonel John Glenn, who became the first American to orbit the Earth and would later run for president, was admired by his comrades for his supercool pulse rate during liftoff (only 110 beats per minute).”

310. “We often marvel at how introverted, geeky kids “blossom” into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it’s not the children who change but their environments. As adults, they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don’t have to live in whatever culture they’re plunked into.”

311. “First, when he looked closely at the existing studies on personality and leadership, he found that the correlation between extroversion and leadership was modest. Second, these studies were often based on people’s perceptions of who made a good leader, as opposed to actual results. And personal opinions are often a simple reflection of cultural bias.”

312. “We’ve known about the transcendent power of solitude for centuries; it’s only recently that we’ve forgotten it.”

313. “So stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don't let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don't force yourself to seek breadth. If you prefer single-tasking to multi-tasking, stick to your guns. Being relatively unmoved by rewards gives you the incalculable power to go your own way.”

314. “The evangelical culture ties together faithfulness with extroversion,” McHugh explained. “The emphasis is on community, on participating in more and more programs and events, on meeting more and more people. It’s a constant tension for many introverts that they’re not living that out.”

315. “38,000 knowledge workers across different sectors, found that the simple act of being interrupted is one of the biggest barriers to productivity.”

316. “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

317. “The next generation of quiet kids can and must be raised to know their own strengths.”

318. “A reward-sensitive person is highly motivated to seek rewards—from a promotion to a lottery jackpot to an enjoyable evening out with friends. Reward sensitivity motivates us to pursue goals like sex and money, social status and influence. It prompts us to climb ladders and reach for faraway branches in order to gather life’s choicest fruits.”

319. “Being relatively unmoved by rewards gives you the incalculable power to go your own way. It’s up to you to use that independence to good effect…Introverts need to trust their gut and share their ideas as powerfully as they can…The trick for introverts is to honor their own styles instead of allowing themselves to be sept up by prevailing norms.” p.173

320. “The trick for introverts is to honor their styles instead of allowing themselves to be swept up by prevailing norms.”

321. “I’m not saying abolish group work – I think there’s a time and a place for people to come together and exchange ideas, but let’s restore the respect we once had for solitude. And we need to be much more mindful of the way we come together.”

322. “‘The contrast is striking,’ writes Michael Harris Bond, a cross-cultural psychologist who focuses on China. ‘The Americans emphasize sociability and prize those attributes that make for easy, cheerful association. The Chinese emphasize deeper attributes, focusing on moral virtues and achievement.’” p.187

323. “We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.”

324. “And every day, Don wrestles with himself. Should he go back to his apartment and recharge over a quiet lunch, as he longs to do, or join his classmates?”

325. “On the other side of the debate are a group of psychologists known as the Situationists. Situationism posits that our generalizations about people, including the words we use to describe one another—shy, aggressive, conscientious, agreeable—are misleading. There is no core self; there are only the various selves of Situations X, Y, and Z.”

326. “There’s nothing more exciting than ideas.”

327. “If you send an introvert into a reception or an event with a hundred other people he will emerge with less energy than he had going in,”

328. “exceptional performance depends not only on the groundwork we lay through Deliberate Practice; it also requires the right working conditions. And in contemporary workplaces, these are surprisingly hard to come by.”

329. “The key to flow is to pursue an activity for its own sake, not for the rewards it brings.”

330. “Introverts think before they act, digest information thoroughly, stay on task longer, give up less easily, and work more accurately.”

331. “If a high-reactive toddler breaks another child's toy by mistake, studies show, she often experiences a more intense mix of guilt and sorrow than a lower-reactive child would. ...but high-reactive kids seem to see and feel things more.”

332. “We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual”

333. “INTROVERTS are especially vulnerable to challenges like marital tension, a parent’s death, or abuse. They’re more likely than their peers to react to these events with depression, anxiety, and shyness. Indeed, about a quarter of Kagan’s high-reactive kids suffer from some degree of the condition known as “social anxiety disorder,” a chronic and disabling form of shyness.”

334. “Since then, some forty years of research has reached the same startling conclusion. Studies have shown that performance gets worse as group size increases: groups of nine generate fewer and poorer ideas compared to groups of six, which do worse than groups of four.”

335. “The truth is that many schools are designed for extroverts. Introverts need different kinds of instruction from extroverts, write College of William and Mary education scholars Jill Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. And too often, “very little is made available to that learner except constant advice on becoming more social and gregarious.”

336. “...remember the dangers of the New Groupthink. If it's creativity you're after, ask your employees to solve problems alone before sharing their ideas. If you want the wisdom of the crowd, gather it electronically, or in writing, and make sure people can't see each other's ideas until everyone has had a chance to contribute.”

337. “He has trouble elbowing his way into class discussions; in some classes he barely speaks at all. He prefers to contribute only when he believes he has something insightful to add, or honest-to-God disagrees with someone.”

338. “Indeed, excessive stimulation seems to impede learning: a recent study found that people learn better after a quiet stroll through the woods than after a noisy walk down a city street. Another study…found that the simple act of being interrupted is one of the biggest barriers to productivity.” ― Susan Cain

339. “Society is itself an education in the extrovert values, and rarely has there been a society that has preached them so hard. No man is an island, but how John Donne would writhe to hear how often, and for what reasons, the thought is so tiresomely repeated.

340. “group brainstorming doesn’t actually work. One of the first studies to demonstrate this was conducted in 1963.”

341. “We don’t ask why God chose as his prophet a stutterer with a public speaking phobia. But we should. The book of Exodus is short on explication, but its stories suggest that introversion plays yin to the yang of extroversion; that the medium is not always the message; and that people followed Moses because his words were thoughtful, not because he spoke them well.” ― Susan Cain

342. “Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal”

343. “But public opinion was beside the point for Franklin and Eleanor. Each had strengths that the other craved—her empathy, his bravado. “E is an Angel,” Franklin wrote in his journal. When she accepted his marriage proposal in 1903, he proclaimed himself the happiest man alive. She responded with a flood of love letters. They were married in 1905 and went on to have six children.”

344. “Extroverts are more likely to take a quick-and-dirty approach to problem-solving, trading accuracy for speed, making increasing numbers of mistakes as they go, and abandoning ship altogether when the problem seems too difficult or frustrating. Introverts think before they act, digest information thoroughly, stay on task longer, give up less easily, and work more accurately.”

345. “A shy man no doubt dreads the notice of strangers, but can hardly be said to be afraid of them. He may be as bold as a hero in battle, and yet have no self-confidence about trifles in the presence of strangers.”--Charles Darwin”

346. “Success in investing doesn’t correlate with IQ,” he has said. “Once you have ordinary intelligence, what you need is the temperament to control the urges that get other people into trouble in investing.”

347. “‘A blush comes online in two or three seconds and says, ‘I care; I know I violated the social contract.’” — Dacher Keltner, psychologist at UC Berkeley p. 144

348. “Our nervous systems make little distinction between our own pain and the pain of others, it turns out; they react similarly to both. This instinct is as much a part of us as the desire to eat and breathe. The compassionate instinct is also a fundamental aspect of the human success story—and one of the great powers of bittersweetness.”

349. “If you’re an introvert, find your flow by using your gifts. You have the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems, and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls that trip others up. You enjoy relative freedom from the temptations of superficial prizes like money and status. Indeed, your biggest challenge may be to fully harness your strengths.”

350. “solitude can be a catalyst to innovation.”

351. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. Everyone shines, given the right lighting.”

352. “I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they’re good talkers, but they don’t have good ideas,” he”

353. “What psychologists call “the need for intimacy” is present in introverts and extroverts alike. In fact, people who value intimacy highly don’t tend to be, as the noted psychologist David Buss puts it, “the loud, outgoing, life-of-the-party extrovert.” They are more likely to be someone with a select group of close friends, who prefers “sincere and meaningful conversations over wild parties.”

354. “Even multitasking, that prized feat of modern-day office warriors, turns out to be a myth. Scientists now know that the brain is incapable of paying attention to two things at the same time. What looks like multitasking is really switching back and forth between multiple tasks, which reduces productivity and increases mistakes by up to 50 percent.”

355. “Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone;”

356. “Everyone shines, given the right lighting.”

357. “Yet today we make room for a remarkably narrow range of personality styles. We’re told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable.”

358. “Speak with conviction. Even if you believe something only fifty-five percent, say it as if you believe it a hundred percent.” “If you’re preparing alone for class, then you’re doing it wrong. Nothing at HBS is intended to be done alone.” “Don’t think about the perfect answer. It’s better to get out there and say something than to never get your voice in.”

359. “in settled populations, people with this same gene form have poorer nutrition. The same traits that make a nomad fierce enough to hunt and to defend livestock against raiders may hinder more sedentary activities like farming, selling goods at the market, or focusing at school.”

360. “The “Bus to Abilene” anecdote reveals our tendency to follow those who initiate action—any action. We”

361. “If there is only one insight you take away from this book, though, I hope it’s a newfound sense of entitlement to be yourself. I can vouch personally for the life-transforming effects of this outlook.”

362. Sometimes it helps to be a pretend extrovert. There will always be time to be quiet later.

363. “frustrated by the superficiality of dining-hall conversation,”

364. “Use your natural powers—of persistence, concentration, insight, and sensitivity—to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, think deeply.”

365. “all talking is selling and all selling involves talking,”

366. “Introverts are drawn to the inner world of thought and feeling, said Jung, extroverts to the external life of people and activities. Introverts focus on the meaning they make of the events swirling around them; extroverts plunge into the events themselves. Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone; extroverts need to recharge when they don’t socialize enough.” ― Susan Cain

367. “Schwartz, the director of the Developmental Neuroimaging and Psychopathology Research Lab. Schwartz has bright, inquisitive eyes, graying brown hair, and a quietly enthusiastic manner. Despite our unprepossessing surroundings,”

368. “The body’s reward and threat systems also seem to work independently of each other, so that the same person can be generally sensitive, or insensitive, to both reward and threat.”

369. “Figure out what you are meant to contribute to the world and make sure you contribute it.”

370. “I get a lot of letters from introverts asking how they can meet people. The key is to make sure that you are doing things you enjoy.”

371. “We’re best off when we don’t allow ourselves to go to our angry place. Amazingly, neuroscientists have even found that people who use Botox, which prevents them from making angry faces, seem to be less anger-prone than those who don’t, because the very act of frowning triggers the amygdala to process negative emotions.”

372. “Now that you're an adult, you might still feel a pang of guilt when you decline a dinner invitation in favor of a good book. Or maybe you like to eat alone in restaurants and could do without the pitying looks from fellow diners. Or you're told that you're 'in your head too much,' a phrase that's often deployed against the quiet and cerebral. Of course, there's another word for such people: thinkers.”

373. “If you force extroverts to pause, says Newman, they’ll do just as well as introverts at the numbers game.”

374. “The school environment can be highly unnatural, especially from the perspective of an introverted child who loves to work intensely on projects he cares about, and hang out with one or two friends at a time. In the morning, the door to the bus opens and discharges its occupants in a noisy, jostling mass.”

375. “When introverts hit the number nine button and find they’ve lost a point, they slow down before moving on to the next number, as if to reflect on what went wrong. But extroverts not only fail to slow down, they actually speed up.”

376. “Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured.”

377. “In our culture, snails are not considered valiant animals — we are constantly exhorting people to ‘come out of their shells’ — but there’s a lot to be said for taking your home with you wherever you go.”

378. “Don't think about the perfect answer. It's better to get out there and say something than to never get your voice in.”

379. “If personal space is vital to creativity, so is freedom from ‘peer pressure.’ Peer pressure, in other words, is not only unpleasant, but can actually change your view of a problem.”

380. “Gore is, by many accounts, an introvert. “If you send an introvert into a reception or an event with a hundred other people he will emerge with less energy than he had going in,” says a former aide. “Gore needs a rest after an event.” Gore acknowledges that his skills are not conducive to stumping and speechmaking. “Most people in politics draw energy from backslapping and shaking hands”

381. “Over-arousal doesn’t produce anxiety so much as the sense that you can’t think straight—that you’ve had enough and would like to go home now. Under-arousal is something like cabin fever. Not enough is happening: you feel itchy, restless, and sluggish, like you need to get out of the house already.”

382. “In our house, reading was the primary group activity. On Saturday afternoons we curled up with our books in the den. It was the best of both worlds: you had the animal warmth of your family right next to you, but you also got to roam around the adventure-land inside your own head.”

383. “I was the nicest person you'd ever want to know," Alex recalls, "but the world wasn't that way. The problem was that if you were just a nice person, you'd get crushed. I refused to live a life where people could do that stuff to me.”

384. “we can stretch our personalities, but only up to a point. Our inborn temperaments influence us, regardless of the lives we lead. A sizable part of who we are is ordained by our genes, by our brains, by our nervous systems. And yet the elasticity that Schwartz found in some of the high-reactive teens also suggests the converse: we have free will and can use it to shape our personalities.

385. “One genuine new relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.”

386. “It can be hard for extroverts to understand how badly introverts need to recharge at the end of a busy day.”

387. “If you’re an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain.”

388. “Career counselor Shoya Zichy told me the story of one of her clients, an introverted financial analyst who worked in an environment where she was either presenting to clients or talking to colleagues who continually cycled in and out of her office. She was so burned out that she planned to quit her job—until Zichy suggested that she negotiate for downtime.”

389. “We often marvel at how introverted, geeky kids “blossom” into secure and happy adults. We liken it to a metamorphosis. However, maybe it’s not the children who change but their environments. As adults, they get to select the careers, spouses, and social circles that suit them. They don’t have to live in whatever culture they’re plunked into. Research”

390. “I am a horse for a single harness, not cut out for tandem or teamwork … for well I know that in order to attain any definite goal, it is imperative that one person do the thinking and the commanding. —ALBERT EINSTEIN”

391. “It’s because of relationship-honoring, for example, that social anxiety disorder in Japan, known as taijin kyofusho, takes the form not of excessive worry about embarrassing oneself, as it does in the United States, but of embarrassing others.” ― Susan Cain

392. “Philosophers call this the “paradox of tragedy,” and they’ve puzzled over it for centuries. Why do we sometimes welcome sorrow, when the rest of the time we’ll do anything to avoid it?”

393. “Extroverts, in other words, are characterized by their tendency to seek rewards, from top dog status to sexual highs to cold cash. They’ve been found to have greater economic, political, and hedonistic ambitions than introverts; even their sociability is a function of reward-sensitivity, according to this view—extroverts socialize because human connection is inherently gratifying.”

394. “…introverts, who sometimes feel as if their propensity for problem talk makes them a drag, should know that they make it safe for others to get serious” (239).”

395. “Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.”

396. “Participation places a very different set of demands on the brain than observing does. It requires a kind of mental multitasking: the ability to process a lot of short-term information at once without becoming distracted or overly stressed.”

397. “The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocity of speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones.”

398. “Extroverts tend to tackle assignments quickly. They make fast (sometimes rash) decisions, and are comfortable multitasking and risk-taking. They enjoy “the thrill of the chase” for rewards like money and status.”

399. “They focused on the so-called Big Five traits: Introversion-Extroversion; Agreeableness; Openness to Experience; Conscientiousness; and Emotional Stability.”

400. “That is why one can never be alone enough when one writes, why there can never be enough silence around one when one writes, why even night is not night enough.”

401. “Since the days of Aristotle, philosophers have observed that these two modes — approaching things that appear to give pleasure and avoiding others that seem to cause pain — lie at the heart of all human activity.” p.171

402. “Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality.”

403. “Enjoyment appears at the boundary between boredom and anxiety, when the challenges are just balanced with the person’s capacity to act.”

404. “‘Perhaps instead of trying to change their ways, colleges can learn to listen to their sound of silence.’ wrote Heejung Kim, a Stanford University cultural psychologist, in a paper arguing that talking is not always a positive act.” ― Susan Cain

405. “Depending on which study you consult, one third to one half of Americans are introverts—in other words, one out of every two or three people you know. (Given that the United States is among the most extroverted of nations, the number must be at least as high in other parts of the world.) If you’re not an introvert yourself, you are surely raising, managing, married to, or coupled with one.”

406. “Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know. —LAO ZI, The Way of Lao Zi”

407. “The purpose of school should be to prepare kids for the rest of their lives, but too often what kids need to be prepared for is surviving the school day itself.” ― Susan Cain

408. “The purpose of school should be to prepare kids for the rest of their lives, but too often what kids need to be prepared for is surviving the school day itself.”

409. “Now that you’re an adult, you might still feel a pang of guilt when you decline a dinner invitation in favor of a good book. Or maybe you like to eat alone in restaurants and could do without the pitying looks from fellow diners. Or you’re told that you’re “in your head too much,” a phrase that’s often deployed against the quiet and cerebral.”

410. “His hypothesis was that extroverted leaders enhance group performance when employees are passive, but that introverted leaders are more effective with proactive employees.”

411. “Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.”

412. “Maybe they’re not even introverts—only 70 percent of sensitive people are, according to Aron, while the other 30 percent are extroverts (although this group tends to report craving more downtime and solitude than your typical extrovert).”

413. “neuroscientists have even found that people who use Botox, which prevents them from making angry faces, seem to be less anger-prone than those who don’t, because the very act of frowning triggers the amygdala to process negative emotions.”

414. “Introverts need to trust their gut and share their ideas as powerfully as they can. This does not mean aping extroverts; ideas can be shared quietly, they can be communicated in writing, they can be packaged into highly produced lectures, they can be advanced by allies. The trick for introverts is to honor their own styles instead of allowing themselves to be swept up by prevailing norms.” ― Susan Cain

415. “Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.” ― Susan Cain

416. “Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.”

417. “am a horse for a single harness, not cut out for tandem or teamwork … for well I know that in order to attain any definite goal, it is imperative that one person do the thinking and the commanding. —ALBERT EINSTEIN”

418. “So the next time you see a person with a compose face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet.”

419. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers -- of persistence, concentration, and insight -- to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.”

420. “And embarrassment, according to Keltner, is a moral emotion. It shows humility, modesty, and a desire to avoid aggression and make peace. It’s not about isolation the person who feels ashamed (which is how it sometimes feels to easy blushers), but about bringing people together.” — ibid.

421. “Figure out what you are meant to contribute to the world and make sure you contribute it. If this requires public speaking or networking or other activities that make you uncomfortable, do them anyway. But accept that they're difficult, get the training you need to make them easier, and reward yourself when you're done.”

422. “Scores of studies have shown that venting doesn’t soothe anger; it fuels it.” ― Susan Cain

423. “Osborn’s “rules” of brainstorming were meant to neutralize this anxiety, but studies show that the fear of public humiliation is a potent force.”

424. “You can also teach your child simple social strategies to get him through uncomfortable moments. Encourage him to look confident even if he’s not feeling it. Three simple reminders go a long way: smile, stand up straight, and make eye contact.”

425. You don’t need to be loud to have great ideas

426. “The Subarctic Survival Situation may sound like a harmless game played inside the ivory tower, but if you think of meetings you’ve attended, you can probably recall a time—plenty of times—when the opinion of the most dynamic or talkative person prevailed to the detriment of all.”

427. “Persistence isn’t very glamorous. If genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration, then as a culture we tend to lionize the one percent. We love its flash and dazzle. But great power lies in the other ninety-nine percent.”

428. “Keep in mind the words of Sir Winston Churchill: ‘Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.'”

429. “The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of available power, but to use well the kind you’ve been granted.”

430. “Temperament refers to inborn, biologically based behavioral and emotional patterns that are observable in infancy and early childhood; personality is the complex brew that emerges after cultural influence and personal experience are thrown into the mix. Some say that temperament is the foundation, and personality is the building.”

431. “Restorative niches are essential to an introvert's happiness.”

432. “Persistence isn’t very glamorous. If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, then as a culture we tend to lionize the 1%. We love its flash and dazzle. But great power lies in the other 99%.”

433. “Flow is an optimal state in which you feel totally engaged in an activity…In a state of flow, you’re neither bored nor anxious, and you don’t question your own adequacy. Hours pass without your noticing.”

434. “Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances.”

435. “Some people are more certain of everything than I am of anything. —ROBERT RUBIN, In an Uncertain World”

436. “Parks herself seemed aware of this paradox, calling her autobiography Quiet Strength—a title that challenges us to question our assumptions. Why shouldn’t quiet be strong? And what else can quiet do that we don’t give it credit for?”

437. “Any time people come together in a meeting, we’re not necessarily getting the best ideas; we’re just getting the ideas of the best talkers.”

438. “…group brainstorming doesn’t actually work…Studies have shown that performance gets worse as group size increases…the one exception is online brainstorming…a worthy goal, so long as we understand that social glue, as opposed to creativity, is the principal benefit [of group brainstorming].” ― Susan Cain

439. “We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.” ― Susan Cain

440. “Some people are more certain of everything than I am of anything. —ROBERT RUBIN,”

441. “If you’re a sensitive sort, then you may be in the habit of pretending to be more of a politician and less cautious or single-mindedly focused than you actually are. But in this chapter I’m asking you to rethink this view. Without people like you, we will, quite literally, drown.”

442. “If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don’t let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don’t force yourself”

443. “Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.”

444. “If we could honor sadness a little more, maybe we could see it—rather than enforced smiles and righteous outrage—as the bridge we need to connect with each other. We could remember that no matter how distasteful we might find someone’s opinions, no matter how radiant, or fierce, someone may appear, they have suffered, or they will.”

445. “He views self-monitoring as an act of modesty. It’s about accommodating oneself to situational norms, rather than “grinding down everything to one’s own needs and concerns.” Not all self-monitoring is based on acting, he says, or on working the room. A more introverted version may be less concerned with spotlight-seeking and more with the avoidance of social faux pas.”

446. “Love is essential; gregariousness is optional.”

447. “The other thing Aron found about sensitive people is that sometimes they’re highly empathic. It’s as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people’s emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world. They tend to have unusually strong consciences. … they’re acutely aware of the consequences of a lapse in their own behavior.” ― Susan Cain

448. “difference has to do with how the two cultures define respect.”

449. “Once they emerge from adolescence and leave the confines of their hometown, they find a world in which loudness and speaking out are the tickets to popularity and financial success. They come to live with a double-consciousness—part Asian and part American—with each side calling the other into question.”

450. “Do you really believe in what you said or wrote – in the thing that’s bringing criticism? And if I do believe it, I can withstand anything.”

451. “The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends.”

452. “Don’t mistake assertiveness or eloquence for good ideas.”

453. “Don is “a bitter introvert,” as he cheerfully puts it—bitter because the more time he spends at HBS, the more convinced he becomes that he’d better change his ways.”

454. “how frustrated he is by his colleagues’ failure to distinguish between good presentation skills and true leadership ability.”

455. “It’s as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people’s emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world. They tend to have unusually strong consciences. They avoid violent movies and TV shows; they’re acutely aware of the consequences of a lapse in their own behavior.”

456. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are.

457. “men regarded ability in speaking as a peculiar gift, needed only by the lawyer, clergyman, or statesman. Today we have come to realize that it is the indispensable weapon of those who would forge ahead in the keen competition of business.”

458. “McHugh helped the students find rhythms in their lives that allowed them to claim the solitude they needed and enjoyed, and to have social energy left over for leading others.”

459. “For Tiffany Liao, soft power meant listening attentively, taking thorough notes, and doing deep research on her interview subjects before meeting them face-to-face…Conviction is conviction, the kids from Cupertino taught [the author], at whatever decibel level it’s expressed.” p.202

460. “Stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don't let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don't force yourself to seek breadth.”

461. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it's a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk.”

462. “...the results have consistently suggested that introversion and extroversion, like other major personality traits such as agreeableness and conscientiousness, are about 40 to 50 percent heritable.”

463. “As Jung speculated almost a century ago about the two types, ‘the one [extroversion] consists in a high rate of fertility, with low powers of defense and short duration of life for the single individual; the other [introversion] consists in equipping the individual with numerous means of self-preservation plus a low fertility rate.’” — ibid

464. “The word introvert is not a synonym for hermit or misanthrope.”

465. “Introverts also seem better than extroverts at delaying gratification, a crucial life skill associated with everything from higher SAT scores and income to lower body mass index.”

466. “Reward sensitivity motivates us to pursue goals like sex and money, social status and influence. It prompts us to climb ladders and reach for faraway branches in order to gather life’s choicest fruits.”

467. “As a parent, if give yourself what you need, your children will watch you doing that and will give themselves what they need.”

468. “There is no one more courageous than the person who speaks with the courage of his convictions.” ― Susan Cain

469. “assumes that it’s good to accentuate positive emotions, but that isn’t correct,” the psychology professor Richard Howard told me, pointing to the example of soccer victories that end in violence and property damage. “A lot of antisocial and self-defeating behavior results from people who amplify positive emotions.”

470. “These results would not surprise anyone familiar with traditional Asian attitudes to the spoken word: talk is for communicating need-to-know information; quiet and introspection are signs of deep thought and higher truth. Words are potentially dangerous weapons that reveal things better left unsaid. They hurt other people; they can get their speaker into trouble.”

471. “Many people, like the swami’s cobra, confuse the hiss with the bite,” writes Tavris.”

472. “Even though I make no special attempt to observe the discipline of silence, living alone automatically makes me refrain from the sins of speech. —KAMO NO CHOMEI, 12th Century Japanese recluse”

473. “I also believe that introversion is my greatest strength. I have such a strong inner life that I’m never bored and only occasionally lonely. No matter what mayhem is happening around me, I know I can always turn inward.”

474. “Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness”

475. “The New Groupthink did not arise at one precise moment. Cooperative learning, corporate teamwork, and open office plans emerged at different times and for different reasons. But the mighty force that pulled these trends together was the rise of the World Wide Web, which lent both cool and gravitas to the idea of collaboration.”

476. “Since the days of Aristotle, philosophers have observed that these two modes — approaching things that appear to give pleasure and avoiding others that seem to cause pain — lie at the heart of all human activity.” ― Susan Cain

477. Love is essential; gregariousness is optional.

478. “Another study, of 38,000 knowledge workers across different sectors, found that the simple act of being interrupted is one of the biggest barriers to productivity. Even multitasking, that prized feat of modern-day office warriors, turns out to be a myth.”

479. “Our schools should teach children the skills to work with others—cooperative learning can be effective when practiced well and in moderation—but also the time and training they need to deliberately practice on their own.”

480. “Still, there’s a limit to how much we can control our self-presentation. This is partly because of a phenomenon called behavioral leakage, in which our true selves seep out via unconscious body language:”

481. “what looks to a Westerner like subordination can seem like basic politeness to many Asians.”

482. “Some high-reactives love public speaking and performing, and plenty of extroverts have stage fright; public speaking is the number-one fear in America, far more common than the fear of death. Public speaking phobia has many causes, including early childhood setbacks, that have to do with our unique personal histories, not inborn temperament.”

483. “Most people who have grown up introverted in this very extroverted culture of ours have had painful experiences of feeling like they are out of step with what’s expected of them.”

484. “Most leading in a corporation is done in small meetings and it’s done at a distance, through written and video communications,”

485. “Introverts living under the Extroversion Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform”

486. “Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. Stay home on New Year’s Eve if that’s what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story.”

487. “Unleashing a passion can transform a life...”

488. “I have found that there are three key steps to identifying your own core personal projects.

489. “Unleashing a passion can transform a life.”

490. “The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers — of persistence, concentration, and insight — to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.” ― Susan Cain,

491. “Solitude matters. And for some people it’s the air they breathe.”

492. “In China there was more emphasis on listening, on asking questions rather than holding forth, on putting others’ needs first. In the United States, he feels, conversation is about how effective you are at turning your experiences into stories, whereas a Chinese person might be concerned with taking up too much of the other person’s time with inconsequential information.”

493. Introverts need to trust their gut and share their ideas as powerfully as they can.

494. “Unhappy people tend to see setbacks as contaminants that ruined an otherwise good thing, while generative adults see them as blessings in disguise.”

495. “Ericsson says that it takes approximately ten thousand hours of Deliberate Practice to gain true expertise, so it helps to start young.”

496. “sometimes they’re highly empathic. It’s as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people’s emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world. They tend to have unusually strong consciences. They avoid violent movies and TV shows; they’re acutely aware of the consequences of a lapse in their own behavior. In”

497. “It’s as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people’s emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world.” ― Susan Cain

498. “Because conflict-avoidant Emily would never “bite” or even hiss unless Greg had done something truly horrible, on some level she processes his bite to mean that she’s terribly guilty—of something, anything, who knows what?”

499. “Highly sensitive people also process information about their environments—both physical and emotional—unusually deeply. They tend to notice subtleties that others miss—another person’s shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly.”

500. “The “Bus to Abilene” anecdote reveals our tendency to follow those who initiate action—any action. We are similarly inclined to empower dynamic speakers.”

501. “How could you be shy and courageous?”

502. “By the time I was old enough to figure out that I was simply introverted, it was a part of my being, the assumption that there is something inherently wrong with