1,000 Funny Quotes About Getting Old (2023)
1. “Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” Bill Vaughan
2. No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You're old, you sag, get over it.
3. “At my age, I’m not afraid to admit that I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”
4. “You know you’re getting old when you start taking naps during movies.”
5. “The pursuit, even of the best things, ought to be calm and tranquil.”
6. “Age is just a number, but my high score is a testament to my life experience.”
7. “Age is just a number, but your skills in the game of life are off the charts!”
8. “In everything truth surpasses the imitation and copy.”
9. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
10. “I don’t have wrinkles, I have storylines etched on my face!”
11. “The first duty of man is the seeking after and the investigation of truth.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
12. “We learn nothing from history except that we learn nothing from history.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
13. “Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.” – George Burns
14. ...Is there singing in the Void? Dancing...? Surely the Dread Lord will at least allow poor Cicero to caper...
15. “Dum spiro, spero.”
16. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now.
17. “The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessing previously secured.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
18. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” Pope John XXIII
19. I love mankind... it's people I can't stand!!
20. “One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming.” – Morgan Harper Nichols
21. “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” Bob Hope
22. “Growing old is like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs, but it’s still a wild ride.”
23. “Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.” George Burns
24. “They say age is just a number, but I prefer to think of it as a testament to my skills in the game of life.”
25. “The spirit never ages. It stays forever young.” – Lailah Gifty Akita
26. “Every evil in the bud is easily crushed: as it grows older, it becomes stronger.”
27. You can't have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage worth ethic.
28. “You know you’re getting old when you start to prefer sensible shoes over high heels.”
29. “They say age is just a number, but I like to think of it as my level of expertise in the game of life.”
30. There ought to be legislation against it.
31. All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.
32. “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.” – Unknown
33. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
34. “You’re only as old as you feel.” - Anonymous
35. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is telling me to take a break and watch some TV.”
36. “Don’t worry about aging, you’re like a superhero: your powers just keep evolving with each passing year.”
37. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.
38. “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns
39. “As I started getting older, I realized, ‘I’m so happy!’ I didn’t expect this!” – Jane Fonda
40. “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.” — Anthony Powell
41. “Growing old may be mandatory, but growing a beard is optional.”
42. “That’s another great thing about getting older. Your life is written on your face.” ― Frances McDormand
43. “The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.” – Robert Frost
44. Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos.
45. “You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your birthday cake than friends at your party.”
46. ...when I next meet, that fair maid Nelly, I'll plunge my knife into her belly...
47. “I may be getting older, but at least I’m gaining experience points.”
48. “The higher we are placed, the more humbly we should walk.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
49. I've had great success being a total idiot.
50. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” - Mark Twain
51. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe."
52. “To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
53. “Life’s tragedy is that we get too old soon and wise too late.” – Benjamin Franklin
54. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.
55. “The older I get, the better I used to be.” – John McEnroe
56. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams
57. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing a sense of humor is essential.”
58. I'm not offended by blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb. And I also know that I'm not blonde.
59. “You can’t stop getting older; you just have to keep going and laugh a lot.” – Anita Dobson
60. How many 118-year-old men do you know?
61. “On The Conduct of Life” (1822) (4,675)
62. “The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.” -Jerry M. Wright
63. “Getting older is just another way of saying you’re leveling up in the game of life.”
64. “Fifty is the youth of old age.” – Victor Hugo
65. “If you’re not getting older, you’re dead.” – Tom Petty
66. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” Doris Day
67. “By the time you’re 80 years old, you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – George Burns
68. “The older I grow, the more I find myself alone.” — Alberto Giacometti
69. “I don’t know about you, but my idea of a perfect day is one when I don’t have to remember my age.”
70. “Old age is no place for sissies.” -Bette Davis
71. “I’m growing older and I’m glowing more than and more.” – Unknown
72. “I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic.”
73. “Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.” -Benjamin Franklin
74. “At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgement.” — Benjamin Franklin
75. “I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.”
76. “Another birthday? Just another year closer to needing a personal assistant to tie my shoes.”
77. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is telling me to cancel my plans and stay home.”
78. “Age is just a number, but your score in the game of life is through the roof!”
79. “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.” – Robert Browning
80. “As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it.” – Margaret Deland
81. “No one is as old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.” – Henry David Thoreau
82. “I may be getting older, but my final form is going to be ageless.”
83. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter..” – Mark Twain
84. “Age is just a number, but my back feels like it’s been around since the Stone Age.”
85. “Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.” - Anonymous
86. “Old age is a shipwreck.” Charles de Gaulle
87. “I am not young enough to know everything.” Oscar Wilde
88. “Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
89. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week.
90. “Don’t be afraid of getting older, you’re just unlocking more achievements in the game of life.”
91. “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” – Chili Davis
92. “They say age is just a number, but my number seems to be stuck on repeat.”
93. “Few people know how to be old.” – Francois de la Rochefoucauld
94. “To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.” – Pearl S. Buck
95. IF WE'RE CREATING A COLLECTION OF GROWING OLD QUOTES, WE'VE GOT TO INCLUDE MIDLIFE CRISIS QUOTES TOO.
96. “We must not say every mistake is a foolish one.”
97. “Another birthday? Congratulations, you just leveled up in the game of life!”
98. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty O’Neill Collins
99. “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” — Dorothy Canfield Fisher
100. “I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.” – Phyllis Diller
101. “Advancing in age? More like leveling up to my final form!”
102. “Aging is just my body’s way of catching up to my evolving final form.”
103. “The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you’ll grow out of it.” – Doris Day
104. “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
105. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” Larry Lorenzoni
106. “Aging is like a fine wine, it gets better with time… and makes you more prone to falling asleep on the couch.”
107. “It matters not how long we live but how.” – Philip James Bailey
108. “You know you’re getting old when you start to enjoy crossword puzzles and watching birds.”
109. ...must oil Mother soon... ...get all the hard to reach places...
110. “Growing old is like a bicycle. You may not be able to ride it as fast, but you can still enjoy the scenery.”
111. “If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
112. “My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.” -Rita Rudner
113. “Another year older, another year wiser… or at least that’s what we’ll tell ourselves.”
114. “Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.”
115. “The older I get the more things I gotta leave behind, that’s life.” – Sylvester Stallone
116. “Aging gracefully is a goal, but sometimes my body has other plans.”
117. “It is exercise alone that supports the spirits, and keeps the mind in vigor.”
118. “You’re only as old as the girl that you feel.” - Groucho Marx
119. “Probability is the very guide of life.”
120. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” -Mark Twain
121. “They say age is just a number, but I prefer to think of it as my ranking on the leaderboard of life.”
122. “You must therefore love me, myself, and not my circumstances, if we are to be real friends.”
123. “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw
124. “It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
125. The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.
126. “Growing old is like a garden. You have to prune the dead leaves and water the roots to keep it thriving.”
127. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
128. “I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.” Rita Rudner
129. “The older I get, the better I used to be.” -Lee Trevino
130. “What society does to its children, so will its children do to society.”
131. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw
132. “At my age I’ve heard it all; I’ve seen it all; and I’ve done it all. I just can’t remember it all.” – Unknown
133. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
134. “I’m not getting older, I’m just advancing to the next level of the game of life.”
135. “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” -Bob Hope
136. ...Oooh... Cicero wants some Skyforge Steel! Sharp sharp, for easy stabbing...
137. “I’m not aging, I’m just gathering experience points for my final form.”
138. ...tra la la, tra la lee, da da dum dum, dee dee...
139. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” – Joan Collins
140. “I love getting older! I really believe that a woman doesn’t reach her peak until her 40s.” – Evangeline Lilly
141. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” -Kitty O’Neill Collins
142. “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” – George Burns
143. “Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.” ― Anna Magnani
144. “The life of the dead is set in the memory of the living.”
145. “There is still no cure for the common birthday.” - John Glenn
146. “The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” – Frank Lloyd Wright
147. “Age is just a number, but maturity is overrated.”
148. “The purpose of education is to free the student from the tyranny of the present.”
149. “Growing old may be mandatory, but acting your age is optional.”
150. “There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.” -Dennis Wolfberg
151. “While there’s life, there’s hope.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
152. “Those who do not know history will forever remain children.”
153. “Age is just a state of mind. My final form is going to be out of this world.”
154. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!
155. “Another year of life experience, but also another year closer to needing a stairlift.”
156. “My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana’.” – Betty White
157. “Old age isn’t so bad if you consider the alternative.” Maurice Chevalier
158. “The pursuit, even of the best things, ought to be calm and tranquil.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
159. “The only thing better than growing old is doing it with style… and a healthy dose of sarcasm.”
160. “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” – Phyllis Diller
161. “When money is unreasonably coveted, it is a disease of the mind which is called avarice.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
162. It matters not how long we live but how. - Philip James Bailey
163. “Let us never know what old age is. Let us know the happiness time brings, not count the years.” – Ausonius
164. “The face is a picture of the mind with the eyes as its interpreter.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
165. “As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don’t.” – Carrie Fisher
166. “I’m not getting older, I’m just leveling up my skills in the game of life.”
167. “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” — Phyllis Diller
168. ...What? Mother? Is that your voice I hear? Hmm... No, no... Just my head playing tricks... Foolish Cicero...
169. “The problem with getting older is you still remember how things used to be.” — Paul Newman
170. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” Joan Collins
171. “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” -Ogden Nash
172. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” Kitty O’Neill Collins
173. “I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward.” Mary Sarton
174. “Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.” – Jim Fiebig
175. “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” Eleanor Roosevelt
176. “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. Henry Ford
177. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.”
178. “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.” - Tom Stoppard
179. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
180. Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.
181. “Aging is like a game of poker. You may not have the best hand, but you can still bluff your way to the pot.”
182. “Age is just a number, but my high score is getting pretty impressive.”
183. “Next to God we are nothing. To God we are Everything.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
184. “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” – Ben Franklin
185. “They say age is just a number, but I prefer to think of it as my high score in the game of life.”
186. Don't be so humble — you are not that great.”
187. “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
188. “Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.” - Anonymous
189. That’s 16 Celsius.
190. “I criticize by creation, not by finding fault.”
191. “Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben
192. “If you wish to persuade me, you must think my thoughts, feel my feelings, and speak my words.”
193. “As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it.” Margaret Deland
194. “To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
195. “Aging is just another word for leveling up in the game of life.”
196. “Nothing is so unbelievable that oratory cannot make it acceptable.”
197. Instant gratification takes too long.
198. “We don’t grow older, we grow riper.” Pablo Picasso
199. “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” Ben Franklin
200. I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.
201. “Another year of life experience, but also another year closer to needing hearing aids.”
202. “We are always the same age inside.” -Gertrude Stein
203. “A grownup is a child with layers on.” Woody Harrelson
204. “The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.” -Erma Bombeck
205. “They say that age is just a number, but sometimes that number feels like a long distance call to the past.”
206. “The older I get, the more I realize that my body is just a rental car that’s been driven too hard.”
207. “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.” -Woody Allen
208. Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. - John Lennon
209. “Wrinkles are just the proof that I’ve been smiling my way through life!”
210. “I may be aging disgracefully, but at least I’m doing it with a smile on my face and a skip in my step.”
211. ...madness is merry, and merriment's might, when the jester comes calling with his knife in the night...
212. “Every year that passes, I’m one step closer to my final form.”
213. “A friend is, as it were, a second self.”
214. “The older you get, the stronger the wind gets. And it’s always in your face.” – Jack Nicklaus
215. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
216. “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
217. “The older you get, the more you appreciate a good chair with good lumbar support.”
218. “Aging is like a fine wine. It gets better with time, but sometimes it leaves a bitter aftertaste.”
219. “The more older we grow, the more humane, the more loving and wiser we become!” ― Md. Ziaul Haque
220. I drink to make other people more interesting.
221. “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” – Unknown
222. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
223. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is telling me it’s time for a bubble bath.”
224. “My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?” Diane Von Furstenberg
225. “Aging is just a way of accumulating more points in the game of life.”
226. “I may be getting older, but at least I’m not getting boring… yet.”
227. “I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a vintage masterpiece.”
228. “You know you’re getting old when your idea of a wild night is staying up past 9 pm.”
229. “Aging is a gift, but wrinkles are just souvenirs of all the fun we’ve had!”
230. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.
231. “They say age is just a number, but I like to think of it as my experience points in the game of life.”
232. “Another birthday? Don’t worry, you’re still as vibrant and full-bodied as a two-dollar bottle of wine.”
233. “Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” – Luis Bunuel
234. A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
235. “If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.”
236. “Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body.”
237. “Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too.” – Lionel Kauffman
238. “If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building.” — Katherine Hepburn
239. “The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.” — Jerry M. Wright
240. “He only employs his passion who can make no use of his reason.”
241. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.
242. “At my age, I’ve learned that it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the laughs in your years.”
243. “There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.” -P.G. Wodehouse
244. “One of the pluses of getting older is you set some limits.” — Nicolas Cage
245. WHEN I GET OLDER, BY THE TIME I RETIRE...
246. “Getting older means experiencing new things, but also experiencing the need for a heating pad.”
247. “It is difficult to persuade mankind that the love of virtue is the love of themselves.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero”
248. “Aging gracefully means embracing new challenges, but also embracing the need for an afternoon nap.”
249. “To be content with what we possess is the greatest and most secure of riches.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
250. “Sometimes I do what I want to. The rest of the time- I do what I have to.”
251. “No well-informed person has declared a change of opinion to be inconstancy.”
252. “Middle age is when a guy starts turning off lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.” – Eli Cass
253. “The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.” Robert Frost
254. ...Forsworn think they're so scary... Cicero will show you who's scary... Stupid Forsworn...
255. “In times of war, the law falls silent.”
256. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
257. “I’m not getting older, I’m just getting better at pretending I know what I’m doing.”
258. “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be. The last of life, for which the first was made.” – Robert Browning
259. “Age is just a reminder that we’ve survived this long, so we might as well make the most of it and have a laugh.”
260. “Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
261. I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
262. “Aging is just a number. I’m evolving into my best self.”
263. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural.
264. “I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.” – Alan Bleasdale
265. “I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming more distinguished.”
266. “Growing old is like a pair of shoes. They may not be as pretty as they used to be, but they’re still comfortable.”
267. “Never was a government that was not composed of liars, malefactors and thieves.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
268. “Growing old is like a painting. You may have a few cracks and wrinkles, but you’re still a masterpiece.”
269. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
270. If you can't be kind, at least be vague.
271. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” — Theodore Roosevelt
272. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” Theodore Roosevelt
273. “Aging is like a pair of eyeglasses. They may not be stylish, but they help you see the world more clearly.”
274. “It is a great thing to know your vices.”
275. “I may be aging, but my final form is going to be legendary.”
276. “As we grow older, our capacity for enjoyment shrinks, but not our appetite for it.” – Mignon McLaughlin
277. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is saying ‘let’s stay in tonight.'”
278. “I may have been around the block a few times, but at least I know where all the good parking spots are.”
279. ...I saw a dwarf! I did! I did! Cicero saw a dwarf! There... Oh. No, sorry. No dwarf...
280. “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.” – Henry Ford
281. “It is not enough to acquire wisdom, it is necessary to employ it.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
282. “Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.” –Victor Hugo
283. “I’m not getting older, I’m just getting more sarcastic.”
284. Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face.
285. “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.” ― Robert Browning
286. Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
287. “It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.” – Unknown
288. “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes
289. “The shifts of fortune test the reliability of friends.”
290. ...need to get Mother some flowers... pretty, pretty flowers...
291. “I don’t feel old, I just feel like a classic.”
292. “Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” Helen Hayes
293. “I don’t have wrinkles, I have laughter lines that have become permanent residents on my face!”
294. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” — Lucille Ball
295. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
296. “It’s OK to grow up; just as long as you don’t grow old.” – Jarvis Cocker
297. “Let the welfare of the people be the ultimate law.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
298. “Youth is wasted on the young.” George Bernard Shaw
299. “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”
300. “Every man desires to live long, but no man desires to be old.” - Jonathan Swift (paraphrased)
301. “Aging is just a sign that you’re getting better at playing the game of life.”
302. “The greatest pleasures are only narrowly separated from disgust.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
303. It's not how old you are. It's how you are old. - Jules Renard
304. “Glory follows virtue as if it were its shadow.”
305. “No man is ever old enough to know better.” - Holbrook Jackson
306. “A friend is, as it were a second self.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
307. “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
308. “Who says you can’t age disgracefully and still be the life of the party? I’m living proof that it’s possible.”
309. “You know you’re getting old when all the names in your black book have M. D. after them.” Harrison Ford
310. “Age is a privilege, but wrinkles are just proof that I’ve lived it to the fullest!”
311. “The older you get, the more you realize that you don’t have to impress anyone. Except maybe your doctor.”
312. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
313. “At my age, flowers scare me.” -George Burns
314. I just can’t remember it all.
315. “Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90. Time is a concept that humans created.” – Yoko Ono
316. “Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” – Franz Kafka
317. “They say age is just a number, but I like to think of it as my level of expertise.”
318. “Some folks as they grow older grow wise but most folks simply grow stubborner.” – Josh Billings
319. Everybody wants to save the earth. No one wants to help mom do the dishes.
320. “I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity.”
321. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
322. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.
323. “Getting older means gaining more wisdom, but also gaining more reasons to take a nap.”
324. “Old age is no place for sissies.” Bette Davis
325. “Getting old is a fascination thing. The older you get, the older you want to get.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
326. “Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” Bob Hope
327. “You’re only as old as you feel.” – Unknown
328. “More is lost by indecision than wrong decision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity. It will steal you blind.”
329. “Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.” – Mark Twain
330. “Truth is corrupted as much by lies as by silence.”
331. There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
332. Laughter is timeless. Imagination has no age. And dreams are forever. - Walt Disney
333. “The safety of the people shall be the highest law.”
334. “The good of the people is the greatest law.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
335. “Growing old is compulsory – growing up is optional.” – Bob Monkhouse
336. “Wrinkles are just the roadmap of my life’s adventures!”
337. “I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to.” -Albert Einstein
338. "My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me."
339. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” – Satchel Paige
340. “Of all nature’s gifts to the human race, what is sweeter to a man than his children?” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
341. “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash
342. “I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.” -Rita Rudner
343. “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” - Dorothy Canfield Fisher
344. “When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day.” – Marty Buccella
345. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” Satchel Paige
346. “The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
347. “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” David Bowie
348. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
349. “We study history not to be clever in another time, but to be wise always.”
350. “You know you’re getting old when you start to use a magnifying glass to read the fine print.”
351. “Another birthday? Just another year closer to needing a back brace.”
352. “That’s another great thing about getting older. Your life is written on your face.” – Frances McDormand
353. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” — Larry Lorenzoni
354. “There is nothing more aging than misery.” – Michelle Pfeiffer
355. “There is still no cure for the common birthday.” – John Glenn
356. WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND WRITING TO-DO LISTS.
357. “Aging gracefully? More like aging towards the direction of a knee replacement.”
358. “I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
359. “The Lesson for Today,” A Witness Tree (1942) (6,371)
360. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” – Larry Lorenzoni
361. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” -Doris Day
362. “It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” – Brigitte Bardot
363. “Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” – Stainslaw Jerzy Lec
364. “The first hundred years are the hardest.” — Wilson Mizner
365. “For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.” — John Glenn
366. “I may have some laugh lines, but at least my life has been full of laughter!”
367. “Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
368. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.
369. “I’m not old, I’m just a classic.”
370. “Regrets are the natural property of grey hairs.” -Charles Dickens
371. “Don’t stress about getting older, you’re just becoming a more experienced player.”
372. “Nothing is so secure as that money will not defeat it.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
373. Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.
374. “In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.” Josh Billings
375. “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
376. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
377. “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” George Burns
378. Middle age is when you are forced to.
379. “When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra.” -Will Rogers
380. “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” - Anonymous
381. “Getting old is a fascinating thing. The older you get, the older you want to get.” – Keith Richards
382. “Aging is like a recipe. You may have to tweak it a little, but it’s still delicious.”
383. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” – Satchel Paige
384. “When you’re young, you can’t wait to get your driver’s license. When you’re old, you can’t wait to give it up.”
385. “Getting older is just another way of saying you’re winning at the game of life.”
386. “I’m getting older, but better, too. And the roles are getting better.” – John Lithgow
387. “You know you’re getting old when you start saying things like ‘back in my day…'”
388. AH, THE IMPORTANCE OF AFTERNOON NAPS.
389. “Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes
390. “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” – John Wagner
391. “The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” Frank Lloyd Wright
392. “The older you get, the more you appreciate a good nap.”
393. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
394. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
395. It looks so calculating.
396. “In times of war, the law falls silent.
397. “Growing older is a privilege, but sometimes my body doesn’t feel so privileged.”
398. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles! - Ralph Waldo Emerson
399. I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
400. “Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century:
401. “Age is a privilege, and my wrinkles are the proof that I’ve earned it!”
402. When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
403. “You’re aging like a fine wine, with notes of oak, vanilla, and ‘back in my day…'”
404. “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.” – Tom Stoppard
405. “Aging is just nature’s way of reminding us that we’re still a work in progress.”
406. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re aboard, there’s nothing you can do.” – Golda Meier
407. A woman is like a tea bag: You can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
408. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home.” -Phyllis Diller
409. “The idea is to die young as late as possible.” – Ashley Montagu
410. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old. - Franz Kafka
411. “Growing older is just a sign that I’m winning at the game of life.”
412. “Growing older is a privilege, and you’re taking full advantage of it… like a coupon that never expires.”
413. It is not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.
414. “I’m not getting older, I’m just getting closer to my expiration date.”
415. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is telling me to take a mental health day.”
416. “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven’t committed.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
417. “Never go to excess but let moderation be your guide.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
418. “Age is a privilege denied to many, but it doesn’t have to be denied to your knees.”
419. WE OFTEN READ QUOTES ABOUT AGE AND WISDOM, BUT THE TRUTH IS...
420. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” -Bob Hope
421. “Another year older, another level up in the game of life!”
422. “In the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
423. “Old age comes at a bad time.” -San Banducci
424. “I’m not getting older, I’m just upgrading my software.”
425. “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” — Andrew Carnegie
426. “They say age is just a number, but I like to think of it as my progress report in the game of life.”
427. ...but the grind has been absolutely worth it!
428. “I’m not old, I’m just well-preserved.”
429. “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
430. “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.” Robert Browning
431. “He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
432. “I actually think there’s an incredible amount of self-knowledge that comes with getting older.” – Jamie Lee Curtis
433. “Age is a privilege, and wrinkles are just the victory banners of a life well-lived!”
434. The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
435. “I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.” – Andy Ronney
436. Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.
437. “Getting older and having kids, you learn how to become less serious about it all.” – Lena Headey
438. “Old age is always 15 years older than I am.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
439. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is telling me to stay in and order takeout.”
440. “Age is a privilege, and wrinkles are just the sprinkles on top of the ice cream of life!”
441. “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” George Burns
442. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is overrated.”
443. “Friends are the family you choose (~ Nin/Ithilnin, Elven rogue).”
444. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is telling me it’s time for a nap.”
445. “For the unlearned, old age is winter; for the learned, it is the season of the harvest.” – Hasidic saying
446. “I don’t age, I just level up!”
447. “As I age, I’m shedding my old self and evolving into my final form.”
448. “Aging gracefully means staying active, but also staying active in my nap game.”
449. “I’m like a fine wine, I get better with age…or at least that’s what I tell myself.”
450. “I’m not aging, I’m just becoming a classic.” – Unknown
451. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.
452. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
453. “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” – Madeleine L’Engle
454. “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
455. It’s because of hair dye.
456. “I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward.” – May Sarton
457. “I don’t have wrinkles, I have life’s roadmap beautifully drawn on my face!”
458. “Aging disgracefully is just another way of saying ‘living life to the fullest.'”
459. “Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.” -Coco Chanel
460. “Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
461. “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” — Chili Davis
462. “With each passing year, I’m getting closer to my final form – and it’s looking pretty awesome.”
463. “There is nothing more aging than misery.” Michelle Pfeiffer
464. “If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.”
465. “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.” -Tom Wilson
466. “Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.”
467. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.
468. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” - Woody Allen
469. “Getting older is just the universe’s way of preparing us for our final form.”
470. We are always the same age inside. - Gertrude Stein
471. “As I age, I’m evolving into a more refined version of myself.”
472. “Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday I will forget yours if you forget mine!” -Kate Summers
473. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” — Bob Hope
474. “My final form is going to be so fabulous, aging is just a bonus.”
475. “Age is just a number, and I’m dominating the game of life.”
476. “Wrinkles merely mark where smiles have been.” – Mark Twain
477. “I’m getting older , so I’m quieting down a bit.” — Steve Coogan
478. “We’ve put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.” - Frank Howard Clark
479. “The shifts of fortune test the reliability of friends.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
480. “The life given us, by nature is short; but the memory of a well-spent life is eternal.”
481. “The life given us, by nature is short; but the memory of a well-spent life is eternal.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
482. “As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.” – Robert Quillen
483. ...Cicero never understood thieves, really... take someone's things before you kill them? And they call me crazy...
484. Age is simply the number of years the world has been enjoying you! - Unknown
485. “Don’t stress about aging, you’re just advancing to the next level of the game of life.”
486. "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
487. “Age is just a number, but so is your cholesterol level.”
488. The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
489. “Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.” - Jim Fiebig
490. “My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?” – Diane Von Furstenberg
491. “With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.” ― William Shakespeare
492. “If it means being settled and content, getting older can be a relief.” – Kate Garraway
493. “A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” Robert Frost
494. “If I had known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” – Unknown
495. “Dum Spiro, spero”
496. “At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.” – George Orwell
497. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
498. “I am not afraid of aging, but more afraid of people’s reactions to my aging.” -Barbara Hershey
499. “The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party, when the masks are dropped.” Cesare Pavese
500. “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – Bill Vaughan
501. “A home without books is a body without soul.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
502. “Aging is like a novel. You may have reached the final chapter, but it doesn’t mean the story is over yet.”
503. “I don’t understand what the man who is happy wants in order to be happier.”
504. “We are always the same age inside.” – Gertrude Stein
505. “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.” – Anonymous
506. “What society does to its children, so will its children do to society.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
507. “You don’t have a future when you refuse to accept the former generation. Simple.” – Petra Hermans
508. “I’m not getting older, I’m just unlocking more achievements in the game of life.”
509. “When our memories outweigh our dreams, it is then that we become old.” – William J. Clinton
510. “Hatreds not vowed and concealed are to be feared more than those openly declared.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
511. “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” — George Burns
512. “I’m aging like a fine wine, getting better with every year towards my final form.”
513. “Any man can make mistakes but only an idiot persists in his error.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
514. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home.” – Phyllis Diller
515. “Getting older is just the beginning of my transformation into my final form.”
516. “To live long, live slowly.”
517. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
518. “Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.”
519. “Age is just a number, but wrinkles are a roadmap of all the fun you’ve had.”
520. “Everything slows down with age, except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.” – John Wagner
521. “What an ugly beast is the ape, and how like us.”
522. “Loyalty is what we seek in friendship.”
523. I'm not crazy — I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.
524. “Growing older is a journey, but sometimes my body feels like it’s taken a detour.”
525. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
526. “Life begins at 40.”—Walter Pitkin
527. “Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.” Tom Stoppard
528. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
529. “The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
530. “Life is nothing without friendship.”
531. “Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.” — Cora Harvey Armstrong
532. “The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible.” – Judith Regan
533. “I think women should start to embrace their age. What’s the alternative to getting older? You die.” – Olivia Munn
534. I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.
535. “Your 40s are good. Your 50s are great. Your 60s are fab. And 70 is f*@king awesome!” Helen Mirren
536. “When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.” — Blair Sabol
537. “Aging gracefully? More like aging towards the direction of a subscription to AARP.”
538. “I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.” George Burns
539. “As you age, your brain cells start to die off. But don’t worry, you won’t miss them.”
540. “Nothing dries sooner than a tear.”
541. “It matters not how long we live but how.” – Phillip James Bailey
542. “Wrinkles are just nature’s way of saying I’ve earned my stripes!”
543. ...and he says to the man, 'That's not a horker! That's my wife!' Ha ha ha ha ha... Ah... I love that one...
544. “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” - John Barrymore
545. “A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within.”
546. “If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
547. “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” — Truman Capote
548. “The wise are instructed by reason, average minds by experience, the stupid by necessity and the brute by instinct.”
549. “I don’t do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast.” - Anonymous
550. “It’s not how old you are. It’s how you are old.” – Jules Renard
551. “Aging is inevitable, but growing old is a choice. Choose to laugh, have fun, and enjoy the journey.”
552. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope
553. “If I had known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” Anonymous
554. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. —Jerry Seinfeld
555. “Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
556. “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.” – Luis Buñuel
557. “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” Ogden Nash
558. “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” – Adolph Zukor
559. “A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
560. “For not only is Fortune blind herself, but as a rule she even blinds those she has embraced.”
561. “Another birthday? Just another reminder that I’m one step closer to needing a walker.”
562. Age is something that doesn't matter... unless you are a cheese! - Billie Burke
563. “Age is just a number, but my inner child is still throwing tantrums like it’s 1999.”
564. “I’m not aging, I’m marinating in life experience.”
565. So this is my life — until I win the lottery.
566. The lord gave us two ends: One to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.
567. Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.
568. “It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.” – Elizabeth Lesser
569. “The sweetest support is found in the most intimate friendship.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
570. You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
571. “A room without books is like a body without a soul.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
572. “Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.” -Jennifer Yane
573. “Before beginning, plan carefully.”
574. “Another year wiser? More like another year closer to needing a lifetime supply of ibuprofen.”
575. “As you get older, your tolerance for stupidity decreases. It’s a natural defense mechanism.”
576. “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” – John Barrymore
577. “You’re like a fine wine, aged to perfection… but also starting to give me a headache.”
578. “If you’re not going to get any wiser, what’s the point of getting older?” — Elizabeth Lowell
579. “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” — Tom Wilson
580. “Growing old gracefully is just a fancy way of saying ‘I’m too tired to care.'”
581. Everything I have I owe to this job... this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.
582. “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” – George Burns
583. “Don’t worry about your age, you’re just advancing to the next level in the game of life.”
584. “Another year wiser? More like another year closer to investing in a good heating pad.”
585. “If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” — Eubie Blake
586. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
587. Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.
588. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
589. “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” - Maurice Chevalier
590. “A man of courage is also full of faith.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
591. “Within the character of the citizen, lies the welfare of the nation.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
592. “I’m not old, I’m just seasoned like a good bottle of wine.”
593. “Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.” — Rodney Dangerfield
594. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
595. “I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up.”
596. “Growing old may be mandatory, but growing up is for quitters.”
597. “A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.” – R. C. Ferguson
598. “Those who love deeply never grow old, they may die of old age, but they die young.” – Ben Franklin
599. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
600. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Carroll Bryant
601. “Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” Franz Kafka
602. “The people who live in a golden age usually go around complaining how yellow everything looks.” — Randall Jarrell
603. “Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age.” -George Sand
604. “I may be getting older, but my final form is going to be a work of art.”
605. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen
606. “By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.” -Billy Crystal
607. “Aging gracefully means embracing the changes, but also embracing the need for a midday nap.”
608. “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
609. “There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.” - John Mortimer
610. “Extreme justice is extreme injustice.”
611. “I don’t do drink or drugs. At my age, I get the same effect just standing up too fast.” – Unknown
612. “Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” -Phyllis Diller
613. “Growing older means learning more about the world, but also learning more about joint pain.”
614. Well, you know what they say: If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me.
615. “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
616. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Mark Twain
617. “Non nobis solum nati sumus. (Not for ourselves alone are we born.)” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
618. “Of late I appear to have reached that stage when people who look old who are only my age.” — Richard Armour
619. “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope
620. “Getting older means getting wiser, but also means getting closer to wearing Velcro shoes.”
621. “Non nobis solum nati sumus.
622. Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been. - Jimmy Buffet
623. “No one is so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.” – Henry David Thoreau
624. Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don't have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!
625. “Age is just a number, but I’m proud of my high score in the game of life.”
626. “Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” Betty Friedan
627. “I’m not growing up, I’m just growing wiser…or so I keep telling myself.”
628. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.
629. “It’s not how old you are, it’s how you are old.” – Jules Renard
630. “In times of war, the law falls silent.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
631. One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming. - Morgan Harper Nichols
632. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.
633. “Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.” – Unknown
634. “A man of courage is also full of faith.”
635. “Today is the oldest you have been, and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” — Nicky Gumbel
636. “Aging is just a state of mind, and yours is still stuck in the ’90s.”
637. “The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessing previously secured.”
638. “You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” – Ogden Nash
639. “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” — Will Rogers
640. “The older you get, the more you realize that you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be you.”
641. ...and I said to the baker, 'You're not dead! You're a faker!' But if that's your wish, I'll oblige...
642. “Age is no barrier. It’s a limitation you put on your mind.” – Jackie Joyner-Kersee
643. “The soil of their native land is dear to all the hearts of mankind.”
644. “Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.” Coco Chanel
645. “Age is just a number, but my back tells a different story.”
646. “It’s not easy getting old, you know. Things become a lot less clear.” ― Jonathan Evison
647. “To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.” — Bernard Baruch
648. “They condemn what they do not understand.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
649. “I didn’t mind getting old when I was young. It’s the being old now that’s getting to me.” ― John Scalzi
650. Then again, I never put my glasses on before looking in the mirror.
651. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’
652. “Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty” Joan Rivers
653. “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” Arthur Schopenhauer
654. ‘Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter’ — Mark Twain.
655. “He’s so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front.” -George Burns
656. “The older you get, the more you appreciate the little things in life. Like a good cup of tea and a warm blanket.”
657. ...dear Cicero will keep you from harm, sweet Mother. Forever and always...
658. “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.” – Billie Burke
659. “Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.” James Thurber
660. “Growing old is like a game of chess. You have to think several moves ahead, and sometimes sacrifice a pawn or two.”
661. “While there’s life, there’s hope.”
662. “When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
663. “Who needs to age gracefully when you can age outrageously?”
664. “Morals today are corrupted by our worship of riches.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
665. “At my age, I’ve learned to embrace my wrinkles and accept that I’m a work of art in progress.”
666. “Old age isn’t so bad if you consider the alternative.” -Maurice Chevalier
667. “If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it.”
668. “I’m not getting older, I’m just racking up more points in the game of life.”
669. “They say age is just a number, but after 30, it starts to feel like a really big number.”
670. “It is foolish to tear one’s hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness.”
671. “We don’t grow older, we grow riper.” – Pablo Picasso
672. All you have to do is live long enough.
673. “It is a great thing to know our vices.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
674. “We should be careful that our benevolence does not exceed our means.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
675. Anybody who tells you money can't buy happiness never had any.
676. “Growing older is just a sign that you’re mastering the game of life.”
677. “To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child.”
678. I tell them, a paternity suit.
679. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.
680. “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.” Anonymous
681. “Everything changes as you get older – your mind, your body, the way you view the world.” – Antonio Banderas
682. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” – Mark Twain
683. “Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes
684. “I don’t mind wrinkles, they just add character to my face!”
685. “I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward.” – Mary Sarton
686. “The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino
687. “By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” – Bill Vaughan
688. “If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
689. “I suppose playing an older man is a way of preparing myself for getting older.” ― Leonardo DiCaprio
690. “The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary on it.” – Arthur Schopenhauer
691. “Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” ― Kitty O’Neill Collins
692. “Growing old may be mandatory, but acting like an adult is highly overrated.”
693. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is telling me to wear my pajamas all day.”
694. “There are creative benefits to getting older.” – Ron Howard
695. “Everything I know I learned after I was 30.” — Georges Clemenceau
696. “I don’t have wrinkles, I have life experience highlights!”
697. “It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own.”
698. “The greater the difficulty, the greater the glory.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
699. It's important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle. - Unknown
700. “Live as brave men; and if fortune is adverse, front its blows with brave hearts.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
701. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
702. “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” -John Wagner
703. “We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
704. “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.” Bob Hope
705. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max. An office is a place where dreams come true.
706. “Man is his own worst enemy.”
707. “We must not say that every mistake is a foolish one.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
708. “Tips for Teens,” Social Studies (1981) (5,184)
709. “They say age is just a state of mind, but my state of mind is telling me to binge-watch my favorite show.”
710. “Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
711. “I’m just getting older and better.” – Neal Schon
712. “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional” - Chili Davis
713. “Hatred is settled anger.”
714. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
715. “Life without learning is death.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
716. “The Triumph of Stupidity,” New York… (5,980)
717. “They say age is just a number, but I prefer to think of it as my scorecard in the game of life.”
718. “At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember most of it.”
719. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.
720. “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.”
721. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
722. “Growing older means gaining more wisdom, but also gaining more grey hair.”
723. “Wrinkles are like fine wine stains, they add depth and richness to the canvas of my face!”
724. “Aging is like a game of Jenga. You keep pulling out pieces, hoping the tower won’t collapse.”
725. “Laughter is timeless. Imagination has no age. And dreams are forever.” – Walt Disney
726. “I don’t believe in aging gracefully, I believe in aging like a fine whiskey: bold and full of character.”
727. “Politicians are not born; they are excreted.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
728. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
729. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzoni
730. “The man who is always fortunate cannot easily have a great reverence for virtue.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
731. “Looking back over a lifetime, you see that love was the answer to everything.” – Ray Bradbury
732. “Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes
733. “They say age is just a number, but I like to think of it as a badge of honor.”
734. “Freedom is a possession of inestimable value.”
735. “The nobler a man, the harder it is for him to suspect inferiority in others.”
736. “If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
737. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved.
738. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” – Unknown
739. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” Lucille Ball
740. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence — then success is sure.
741. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” – Theodore Roosevelt
742. “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.”
743. “We should be as careful of our words as of our actions.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
744. “The higher we are placed, the more humbly we should walk.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
745. “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” - Truman Capote
746. “In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods, than in giving health to men.”
747. “You know you’re getting old when you start to prefer the company of your pets over people.”
748. “Age is a privilege, and wrinkles are just the accessories that come with it!”
749. ...Cicero is hungry... ...need a sweetroll... or a carrot...
750. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
751. “I may be getting older, but my sense of humor is forever young.”
752. “Wrinkles are just the badges of honor for a life well-lived!”
753. “The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.” — Doris Day
754. When we were small children, we all played dress-up and everybody had a good time. So why stop? - Iris Apfel
755. “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” George Burns
756. “Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.” — Mark Twain
757. “The old believe everything, the middle—aged suspect everything, the young know everything.” — Oscar Wilde
758. I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
759. “You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw
760. “Freedom suppressed and again regained bites with keener fangs than freedom never endangered.”
761. “Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought.” -Emily Dickinson
762. “Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
763. “Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief”
764. “As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.” -Robert Quillen
765. “As a man grows older it is harder and harder to frighten him.” – Jean Paul Richter
766. ...need to sharpen my blade... make it shiny, gleamy, and oh so deadly...
767. You only have to remember it.
768. “Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.”
769. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.” Mark Twain
770. “As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.” Robert Quillen
771. “The older I get the less I listen to what people say and the more I look at what they do.” – Andrew Carnegie
772. “Aging is just another way of saying you’re a seasoned player in the game of life.”
773. “It is better to wear out than to rust out.” - Bishop Richard Cumberland
774. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” -Bette Midler
775. “I’m 60 years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.” -George Carlin
776. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Walt Disney
777. “To err is human, but to persevere in error is only the act of a fool.”
778. “I’m not over the hill, I’m just enjoying the view from the top.”
779. “As I grow older and wiser, I’ve begun to understand how little I understand.” – Unknown
780. “Age is just a state of mind, unless you’re trying to run a marathon.”
781. I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
782. “Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” - John Wagner
783. “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” – Tom Wilson
784. “Another year of life experience, but also another year closer to becoming a regular at the chiropractor’s office.”
785. “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
786. “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” -Larry Lorenzi
787. As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
788. “Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.” – George Carlin
789. “Today, you’re 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!” -Dave Barry
790. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re aboard, there’s nothing you can do.” Golda Meir
791. “You used to have a six-pack, now you have a party keg.”
792. “Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellence and endowments of the human mind.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
793. “Politicians are not born; they are excreted.”
794. Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese.
795. “I’m not getting older, I’m just collecting more stories to tell.”
796. “None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.” - Henry David Thoreau
797. “We’ve put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.” – Frank Howard Clark
798. “As I get older, I realize that the wrinkles on my face are just laughter lines, and I’m damn proud of them.”
799. “In youth, we run into difficulties. In old age, difficulties run into us.” – Beverly Sills
800. “The face is a picture of the mind with the eyes as its interpreter.”
801. “Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” – David Bowie
802. “Not to have a mania for buying, is to possess a revenue.”
803. QUOTES ON LIFE, GETTING OLD, AND BRAVERY.
804. When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
805. “It is better to wear out than to rust out.” – Bishop Richard Cumberland
806. NO NEED FOR "AGE IS JUST A NUMBER" QUOTES; WE CANNOT REMEMBER OUR AGE ANYHOW.
807. “As men get older, the toys get more expensive.” Marvin Davis
808. “Wealth and Poverty,” speech, National… (11,815)
809. “You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.” — Felix Severn
810. FINALLY, ONE LAST, "WE WALKED UPHILL IN BOTH DIRECTIONS" MY CHILDHOOD WAS ROUGH QUOTE TO MAKE YOU SMILE.
811. “Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.” -Theodore Roosevelt
812. “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” John Barrymore
813. Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.
814. Reality continues to ruin my life.
815. “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.” — Carl Gustav Jung
816. “You know you’re getting old when you start to enjoy watching the weather report.”
817. “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” – John Lennon
818. “I prefer the most unfair peace to the most righteous war.”
819. The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana.
820. “The more laws, the less justice.”
821. ...and if I spy a singing bird, I'll snap its neck before it's heard...