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900 Funny Motivational Tuesday Quotes For Your Morning (2023)

Updated: Jan 15

1. “Tuesday isn’t so bad…It’s a sign that I’ve somehow survived Monday.” – Unknown


2. “It's only Tuesday? Monday took so long that I thought it was Wednesday!”- Unknown


3. The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.


4. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.


5. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh


6. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? – Steven Wright


7. Good Morning Tuesday! Wishing you a blooming great day! - Unknown


8. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.


9. I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.


10. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys.


11. The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does. Proverb


12. I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill


13. “Have a beautiful Tuesday. All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.” – Bryan Katie


14. “Your best days are not behind you. They’re in front of you.” – Joel Osteen


15. “A fresh start, a clean slate, and a lot of potential for great things to come. That is what Tuesdays really are.”- Unknown


16. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.


17. Mabel E. Bailey, Keep Your Grit


18. Life is the movie you see through your own eyes. It makes little difference what's happening out there. It's how you take it that counts. Denis Waitley


19. “I didn’t give you the finger, you earned it.” – BIll Murray


20. I had plastic surgery last week – I cut up my credit cards.


21. “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” —Arthur Ashe


22. Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.


23. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.


24. Words of Encouragement for Men


25. “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.” – Karen Scalf Linamen


26. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.


27. Why hoard your troubles? They have no market value, so just throw them away. Ann Schade


28. I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!


29. “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.” – John Wooden


30. The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.


31. I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.


32. You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.


33. Dear Tuesday, Nobody likes you. You're just Monday's ugly cousin. - Unknown


34. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Phyllis Diller


35. I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.


36. Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? RAJ Phillips


37. “Good morning Tuesday! Please enter and pour out that shower of blessings into our lives, renew our spirits, our strength, our faith and our hope.” – Anonymous


38. “Tuesday always lasts longer than we would want to. On one side, it is a day dedicated to work and productivity, and on the other side, it is too far from the weekend for us to feel even a tiny glimpse of hope about the possibility of having something exciting happen.” - Unknown


39. “We never know what a week from next Tuesday is going to hold. It may be an ordinary day filled with quite regular activities and demands. Most of the time that is exactly what a week from next Tuesday will hold.” — Matthew Rich


40. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.


41. “One small, positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.” – Dalai Lama


42. You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way. Michael Jordan


43. “Each day of the week is special in its own way and brings us a different set of challenges. Among them, Tuesday seems like the poorer relative, but in fact, it is one of the days when most things are accomplished and when many things are ticked off the list.”- Unknown


44. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.


45. “The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” – Confucius


46. “What are you planting in your mind this Tuesday - results or weeds?” - Unknown


47. “Happy Tuesday! Having even one, small positive thought can change the rest of your day for the better.” – Anonymous


48. For a politician to complain about the press is like a ship's captain complaining about the sea. Enoch Powell


49. Make a little error, and give up in dismay.


50. “Rid yourself of negativity and have a positively Happy Tuesday.” – Unknown


51. “Tuesday is one of my favorite days; it is the day offered to community service to recognize and meet the needs of others who are unable to do so.” — Byron Pulsifer


52. “Live every day like it's Taco Tuesday.”- Unknown


53. “In college, you had to worry about that math class or this exam that’s coming up on Tuesday, but not in the professionals. You eat, sleep, and do everything related to your craft – and your craft is football. You can be at it from sunup to sundown.” – Cam Newton


54. If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap. Glen Buck


55. When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor.


56. “All Tuesdays lead to tacos.”


57. But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.


58. True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.


59. “How would your Tuesday be different if you conducted yourself with complete love and consideration?” - Unknown


60. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.


61. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.


62. The road to success is always under construction.


63. “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” – Groucho Marx


64. “It’s only Tuesday? Monday took so long that I thought it was Wednesday.” – Unknown


65. All men are equal before fish.


66. “A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.” – Milton Berle


67. “You will never plough a field if you only turn it over in your mind.” – Irish Proverb


68. “Sometimes Tuesday feels like you will never get to be where you want to be, but don't give up. Small actions every day do make a difference!” - Unknown


69. It's always too early to quit. Norman Vincent Peale


70. “Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.” – Stephen King


71. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.


72. “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” — Muhammad Ali


73. Without the will or desire to achieve one is like flotsam on the oceans of time. Steven Redhead


74. According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.


75. “Tuesdays are really just Mondays dressed in their Sunday best.” - Unknown


76. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.


77. You need to be comfortable with you. Stop worrying about the couple in the corner who may or may not be looking at you funny. Willow Cross, Getting Over It


78. “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” – Charles de Gaulle


79. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.


80. “If you never give up, you’ll be successful.” – Dan O’Brien


81. “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” – Karen Kaiser Clark


82. “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison


83. “Tuesday is my second favorite day of the week to put off everything until later in the week.” – Unknown


84. “Let the improvement of yourself keep you so busy that you have no time to criticize others.” – Roy T. Bennett


85. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston S. Churchill


86. “Tuesday’s victory was big. But it did nothing more than level the playing field and give you a shot. Take it.” ― Charles Krauthammer


87. If at first you don’t succeed, quit. When life gives you lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit.


88. “I am not a woman on Monday, an immigrant on Tuesday, a worker on Wednesday, and a mom on Thursday, I am all of those things all of the time, and I am going to fight for all of those things all of the time.” – Pramila Jayapal


89. “Three positive facts are obvious on Tuesday: Tomorrow allows me another day to demonstrate my worthiness to my employer; it is yet another day to influence those around me with encouragement to handle their own trials; and, it is my day to celebrate each small victory of yesterday.” – Byron Pulsifer


90. It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!


91. Your best days are not behind you. They’re in front of you. - Joel Osteen


92. “Tuesday isn’t so bad. It’s a sign that I’ve somehow survived Monday.” – Unknown


93. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.


94. When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.


95. “The world is changed by your example. Not by your opinion.” – Paulo Coelho


96. “All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” – Michael John Bobak


97. “I challenge you to let every day be a Friday. Give yourself permission to be happy every day.” – Joel Osteen


98. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.


99. Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.


100. “This Tuesday think about the books you are reading, the TV you are watching, the music you are listening to and ask yourself the question "is it positive"?”- Unknown


101. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


102. “Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson


103. can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.


104. “There will be obstacles. There will be doubters. There will be mistakes. But with hard work, there are no limits.” —Michael Phelps


105. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?


106. “These drapes are awful. One of us will have to go.” – Oscar Wilde


107. I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.


108. “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx


109. The shortest recorded period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain. Jane Bryant Quinn


110. “It’s coffee and I need some Tuesday. Please excuse my incoherence, it’s still early.” – Unknown


111. Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.


112. “For some people, showing up at a bridal salon without a ring or a groom might appear bizarre and quite unusual–but for me, it’s a regular Tuesday afternoon.” – Tinsely Mortimer


113. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. Laurence J. Peter


114. A camel is a horse designed by a committee.


115. “Have a beautiful day! Take time to enjoy the wonder and beauty of each moment. Happy Tuesday!” – Unknown


116. “Happy Tuesday! Don’t forget to be kind to yourself.” – Anonymous130. “Have you ever noticed how positive people are happy people and negative people are miserable?” – Riley Stevens


117. I don't want problems solved for me. I want the fishing rod, not the fish. Yanni


118. “People call it Valentine’s Day, I call it Tuesday.” ― Lil Wayne


119. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.


120. “Tuesday’s coming, did you bring your coat?” ― Don Hertzfeldt


121. “As long as you’re moving forward whether it be one step or ten feet man, you got to keep going.” – Josh Barnett


122. Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.


123. “Tuesday had always been our day together. Most of my courses with Morrie were on Tuesdays, he had office hours on Tuesdays, and when I wrote my senior thesis. It was on Tuesdays that we sat together. We’re Tuesday people.” —Mitch Albom


124. Political correctness is tyranny with manners.


125. Can I give you a handful of laughter, a smidgen of giggles to boot, a cupful of tease and a comical sneeze, followed by a hilarious hoot. John McLeod, A Handful of Laughter


126. The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.


127. I consent to receiving emails and personalized ads.


128. Tension is a habit. Relaxing is a habit.


129. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” — Anton Chekhov


130. “Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better.” – Jim Rohn


131. “Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.” – John Lennon


132. The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.


133. Oscar Wilde joke "Work is the curse of the drinking classes"


134. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.


135. “Tuesday is a good day, you survived Monday. And tomorrow is Wednesday, halfway through your work week!” - Kate Summers


136. “Now the world had narrowed down to this: Tuesday hated Cecelia and Cecelia hated it back.” ― K.A. Reynolds


137. Never have more children than you have car windows.


138. winter in the shade. Charles Dickens


139. People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar


140. The only time I feel light-hearted is when I'm in a plane at 33,000 feet. Robert Rivers


141. “If things go wrong this Tuesday, look for the good. Keep your attitude positive no matter what happens this day!” - Unknown


142. The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much.


143. You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena.


144. I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.


145. It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up. - Babe Ruth


146. Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip. Richard Steele


147. Humor helps build connections and relationships in ways that few other social interactions can. Gregory Peart, You Can Be Funny and Make People Laugh


148. “Tuesday is the most sensible day of the week.”- Emily P. Freeman


149. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” - Anton Chekhov


150. “Once Monday is gone, we can give up on the self-loathing thoughts and start being joyful about life and work again. We hold in our hands the power to go through every Tuesday as if it would be the happiest day of the week, just by remembering to do little things that give us pleasure and comfort.” - Unknown


151. My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.


152. “Tuesday is neither here nor there in the hierarchy of the week.” — Anthony T. Hincks


153. “A good day starts with a fresh mind, where the memories of yesterday no longer have power. The key to a happy Tuesday is forgetting about the broken images of Monday and focusing on a new beginning. Tuesday is, in some ways, a bright and promising day.”- Unknown


154. Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. George Burns


155. Interest without activity is similar to having a vehicle that is out of gas - it won't take you anyplace. Eimantas Gabalis, How To Get Smarter


156. If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself. Irish Proverbs


157. “The question I ask myself like almost every day is, ‘Am I doing the most important thing I could be doing?’” – Mark Zuckerberg


158. Mark Twain joke "The reports of my demise were greatly exaggerated"


159. “In my time, we didn’t know songs could last. All we ever thought of was next Tuesday. You never imagined a future.” – Donovan


160. “You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.” – A. A. Milne


161. We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw


162. Related: 31 Best Disney Squishmallows Perfect to Snuggle With During Your Next Movie Marathon


163. Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.


164. A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results. BC Forbes


165. “I am too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated.” – Unknown


166. “Monday is difficult and bleak, but the best thing about Monday is that it eventually ends, making room for the friendlier Tuesday. Each Tuesday is the same, a day when, after forgetting about the misery of Monday, we start to count the days until the weekend.” - Unknown


167. Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed. Gandhi


168. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


169. Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. Richard Bach


170. How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years gotten enough to eat and escaped being eaten? Logan Pearsall Smith


171. If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then,


172. “Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. That’s cleaning day.” – Jim Miller


173. The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much. Author Unknown


174. They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea. Francis Bacon


175. Build on what makes you different from your competition. . . You need to be the red tree in the forest. Nick Maley, The Do or Do Not Outlook


176. We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.


177. If you come to a fork in the road take it


178. “I hadn’t worked for a year when I had my Prison Break audition and it was the easiest audition I’ve ever had. I got the script on Friday, went to the audition on Monday and got the part on Tuesday. I was shooting the pilot a week later. I didn’t have time to be nervous – it happened so quickly.” – Wentworth Miller


179. I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife)… but still my own.


180. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” – Homer Simpson


181. Without enthusiasm, your sales talk is about as dead as last year's turkey. Dale Carnegie


182. “Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – Saint Francis


183. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.


184. “We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” —Marie Curie


185. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


186. In every dream journey there comes a moment when you have to quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Mark Batterson, Chase the Lion


187. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?


188. “The only thing that can transform a regular day into a happy day is surrounding ourselves with positive people and things, which allows us to see the brighter side of life and to find there the wonder and excitement that we deserve.” - Unknown


189. “Happy Tuesday! Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it and believe it’s possible for you.” – Jack Canfield


190. The truth can be funny but it's not funny to cover up the truth. Ryan Cooper, Difficult People


191. “When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.” – Lolly Daskal


192. “Monday always passes and there will always be a Tuesday with a beautiful blue sky with few clouds.” – Anonymous


193. “Tuesday is neither here nor there in the hierarchy of the week.” - Anthony T. Hincks


194. Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.


195. “Hold onto positive things that elevate your spirit and be with positive people. Happy Tuesday.” – Tracey Edmonds


196. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


197. I told you to go to Cox’s and buy a searsucker suit, but it looks like you went to Sears instead.


198. “Next Tuesday has become that milestone in time where all plans, dreams, and goals go to die. Whenever we feel incapable of doing the things we want to do, we put them off, thinking that it is not the right moment. If right now is not the right moment, then next Tuesday it will surely not be.”- Unknown


199. I wouldn’t camp out for five days if was… camping.


200. “The Way Get Started Is To Quit Talking And Begin Doing.”– Walt Disney


201. You want to be a millionaire. But your values system says you believe in sleep more than grinding! Eric Thomas


202. A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright. Lucille Ball


203. Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?


204. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.


205. “It is a common occurrence to see people complain about Monday, but recently, many have started to complain about Tuesday too. While we can see Tuesday as the new Monday, it is more beneficial for our well-being to start transforming each new day into a wealth of new possibilities and chances.”- Unknown


206. “It’s only Tuesday and I am already 95% done with this week.”- Unknown


207. “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” – James Allen


208. Tuesday is the day I actually start the week, Monday I just deal with the depression of the weekend ending. - Unknown


209. “The more we learn, the more we discover how much we do not know.” – Yoda


210. Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.


211. “It’s Terrific Tuesday. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words, and your faith stronger than your feelings!”- Unknown


212. I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. George Burns (at 100 years)


213. “I’m not the kind of actor that would know what my character had for breakfast last Tuesday.” – Liam Neeson


214. “Today is not just Tuesday, it is Transformation Tuesday. That means that success does not just come to you, you have to go out and get it. So what are you waiting for?”- Unknown


215. “When we don’t like our jobs or our lives, Mondays and Tuesdays feel similar. They are days of misery and complaints. However, if we respect our lives and our time, we need to start thinking differently about Mondays and Tuesdays.”- Unknown


216. When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.


217. Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.


218. “I think Super Tuesday is the most important day of this entire primary election. It is the most delegates awarded in a single night will be awarded on Super Tuesday.” ― Ted Cruz


219. “I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.” – Elon Musk


220. “I don’t want it good. I want it Tuesday.” – Jack L. Warner


221. “I am having Monday feelings towards Tuesday.”- Unknown


222. It's coffee and I need some Tuesday. Please excuse my incoherence, it's still early. - Unknown


223. Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours. Frank Moore Colby


224. “For some people, showing up at a bridal salon without a ring or a groom might appear bizarre and quite unusual--but for me, it's a regular Tuesday afternoon.” - Tinsely Mortimer


225. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. Joel Osteen


226. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.


227. “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” – Beverly Sills


228. “Most people feel that Tuesday is just a repetition of Monday, which makes it equally depressing. However, Tuesday is more than that because it teaches us how, after a weekend of fun and a day of dreariness, we are finally free to do meaningful things.” - Unknown


229. “Never, never, never give up.” – Winston Churchill


230. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.


231. Spring is the time of year when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade. Charles Dickens, Great Expectations


232. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.


233. “How is your smile this Tuesday?”- Unknown


234. “Every day brings challenges, so on this Tuesday walk around them!” - Unknown


235. “Tuesday is a day to remember that you are responsible and accountable for each word you speak so make each expression one to be celebrated not castigated.” — Byron Pulsifer


236. To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.


237. Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.


238. “Happy Tuesday! You got to admit, at least it sounds better than happy Monday.” – Unknown


239. We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.


240. “In life, you have got to make the best of every situation; you have to keep going.” – John Daly


241. “Tuesday. Worry less. Live more.” – Unknown


242. “Happy Tuesday! Having even one, small positive thought can change the rest of your day for the better.” – Unknown


243. One fails forward toward success." Charles Kettering


244. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.


245. “Is there something you would like to see changed this Tuesday? Are you talking about it or are you setting the example to change it?”- Unknown


246. “Judging by my degradation in the last 24 hours, I’ll be surprised if I make it to Tuesday.” – Aron Ralston


247. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne


248. Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.


249. Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.


250. “There was a time when people didn’t go out of their house on Tuesday night at eight o’clock because Milton Berle was on.” – Ed McMahon


251. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.


252. Each child is as different as you and I. Therefore, I believe there isn’t a one-method-fits-all strategy, no matter how appealing that idea might sound (sorry Gina Ford). Giovanna Fletcher, Happy Mum, Happy Baby


253. A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.


254. No one has ever become poor by giving. Anne Frank


255. One of the most successful ways companies get the consumer's attention is by presenting the product in a funny or emotional way. Arlene Battishill, Retail Shock Therapy


256. Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.


257. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.


258. doing and then resolve to stop doing it. Charlie Brooker


259. “Today will be a good Tuesday and this morning is going to be an awesome one!” – Unknown


260. . . . I ask people if an elephant has ever bitten them. Most of the time people say no. But everyone has been bitten by a mosquito. It's the little things that get us. David DeNotaris


261. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


262. “I’d take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I’d take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day unless it’s Tuesday.” — Will Advise


263. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.” – Unknown


264. “Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. That’s cleaning day.” - Jim Miller


265. “May God bless you this Tuesday and all the days after!” - Unknown


266. The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them." Abraham Lincoln


267. “I’d take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I’d take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day unless it’s Tuesday.”- Will Advise


268. Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV. Thomas Sowell


269. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.


270. Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you. Jim Rohn


271. “Have a beautiful Tuesday! Your mantra is: ‘All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.’”- Bryan Katie


272. “What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” – Pearl S. Bailey


273. I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.


274. I challenge you to let every day be a Friday. Give yourself permission to be happy every day.” – Joel Osteen


Twitter / @InspireNowDaily


“I challenge you to let every day be a Friday. Give yourself permission to be happy every day.” – Joel Osteen




21)


If we make the mistake of being negative, discouraged, grumpy, or sour, we’ve wasted the day." - Joel Osteen


275. I am not an advocate of pity parties. They allow you to wallow in misery and drag yourself even further into the depths of woe. But sometimes having a good cry is like changing the oil in your car. You got 3000 miles out of that batch, now you have 3000 miles to go before another. Sandra Bullock Smith, Trading Places


276. “Happy Tuesday! You got to admit, at least it sounds better than happy Monday.” – Anonymous


277. “After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W - T - F.”- Unknown


278. “Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.” – Yogi Berra


279. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” – Anton Chekhov


280. “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” – H. L. Mencken


281. “Instead of traveling on a weekend, begin your trip on a Tuesday or Wednesday, which are often the cheapest days to fly. Being flexible with timing can help with savings.” – Gillian Tans


282. “The ability to seek out lightness is an essential tool for living a positive life.” – Cyndie Spiegel


283. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.


284. “If this depression stays with us, the loser Tuesday is going to be the winner.” — Will Rogers


285. “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” – John Barrymore


286. “You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There’s another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity.” – Bill Gates


287. “Happiness and Monday don’t go well together, but a happy Tuesday is a possible dream. It is up to us to decide how we want to spend our days, that is why a happy Tuesday means a happy life. When we can find happiness in a working day, it means we are happy about what we do and where we are.”- Unknown


288. “Tuesdays are not so difficult to handle as Mondays, but when Tuesday comes after a holiday or a celebration, the burden to go through the day is crushing. There is nothing worse than going to work while having fresh in our minds the memories of the wild fun we had just hours before.”- Unknown


289. “It’s TUESDAY! And since it's CHOOSEDAY: choose to smile, choose to be happy, choose to love, choose to bless, choose to be a blessing, choose to be humble, choose to be patient, choose to be kind… And above all Choose God to guide your life. HAPPY TUESDAY!” – Unknown


290. “Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” – Stephen Colbert


291. Do not hold to what you have. It is like a ferry boat for people who want to get across waters. Once you have got across, never bear it on your back. You should head forward. Bruce Lee


292. “It is Taco Tuesday. I don’t have any tacos. That makes me sad inside.”


293. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.


294. “I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age – which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.” – Noel Coward


295. “Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.” – Julie Andrews


296. Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman… or a bad woman.


297. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.


298. “Let Tuesday tarnish your day with love and smiles. Happy Tuesday.” – Anthony T. Hincks


299. Sickos don’t scare me. At least they’re committed.


300. I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.


301. “Funny but true words for your Tuesday: Before you open your mouth, think are you complaining or are you being positive.” - Unknown


302. “The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it.” —J.M. Barrie


303. Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most"


304. The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.


305. I’m one of the few people in Hollywood who actually had a good childhood.


306. “Good Morning, It’s Tuesday! Congratulations! You somehow survived Monday.” — Invajy


307. A fool and his money never should have got together in the first place.


308. God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.


309. “Tuesday is a good day, you survived Monday. And tomorrow is Wednesday, half way through your work week!” — Kate Summers


310. “You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.” —A. A. Milne


311. “One small, positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. Have an amazing Tuesday!” - Unknown


312. Laughter is subjective. What’s funny is whatever makes you laugh. No questions, no arguments. If it makes you laugh, it’s funny . . . to you. Steven Kaplan, The Hidden Tools of Comedy


313. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.


314. A funny thing happens when we start keeping promises to ourselves - we become unstoppable. Ken Fite, The Dash


315. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.


316. “Every day is a gift and proof that your purpose in life has not yet been fulfilled.” – Anonymous


317. “It’s coffee and I need some Tuesday. Oh wait, no. It’s Tuesday and I need some coffee.”- Unknown


318. Get updates on the latest posts and more from Everyday Power straight to your inbox.


319. “No matter what your Tuesday is, don’t worry because Friday is on its way.” - Unknown


320. “Happy Tuesday! We are responsible for peace and order in our lives! When your world is CONSTANTLY filled with chaos, then it’s time to take a look at SELF!” – Tracey Edmonds


321. A bore is a person who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it. Henry Ford


322. “Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” – Todd Stocker


323. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.


324. New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy


325. The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.


326. “Don’t just dream it be it, because anything is possible. Happy Tuesday.”- Unknown


327. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” - Unknown


328. “Live every day like it’s Taco Tuesday.” – Unknown


329. “If we make the mistake of being negative, discouraged, grumpy, or sour, we’ve wasted the day.” – Joel Osteen


330. “It was far too absurd to die of a Tuesday.” ― Jamie O’Neill


331. “Happy Tuesday. Stay positive. Saying ‘YES’ to HAPPINESS leaves no room for STRESS!” – Unknown


332. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.


333. “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson


334. “Tuesday’s are really just Monday’s dressed in their Sunday best.” – Unknown


335. “Among people who really hate Monday, Tuesday seems like a worse version of Monday, because any excuse to not work is no longer valid. Maybe it’s true that nobody likes Tuesday, but it is our fault if we don’t want to enjoy it. Tuesday is just a day and it is up to us how we spend it.” - Unknown


336. “If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.” – Richard Bach


337. “A Tuesday after a three-day weekend is like a double-whammy Monday!” - Unknown


338. “Did someone order a bright and sunny day? Well…here it is. Happy Tuesday!” – Anthony T. Hincks


339. The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.


340. You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count. - A. A. Milne


341. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.


342. “When all else fails, there’s always delusion.” – Conan O’Brien


343. “Every single day, you’ll face outside influences telling you why it won’t work & you don’t deserve it. Keep going.” – Anonymous


344. “Tuesday means we’re a day closer to a weekend spent dreading Monday.” – Anonymous


345. Related: These 50 Best Decluttering Tips Will Help You Get Organized at Last!


346. “Tuesday: The day after Monday that reminds you that you still have four more days of not trying to slap a fellow co-worker.”- Unknown


347. “Three horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday 2. Tomorrow is not Friday 3. Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.” – Unknown


348. “Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” – Henry David Thoreau


349. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.


350. I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.


351. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.


352. “How are you seeing your world this Tuesday? Do you see the beauty in it?” - Unknown


353. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.


354. “Tuesday nights are sushi nights, so we go out then.” – Al Rocker


355. Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a new beginning. - Unknown


356. “Since Monday seems like the longest day of the week, when we realize that it is Tuesday, we have the pleasant surprise to realize that Monday is finally gone. At the same time, we are saddened that it is only Tuesday and that there is still a lot of time to pass until the liberating Friday.”- Unknown


357. Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.


358. To be taught to read -what is the use of that, if you know not whether what you read is false or true? John Ruskin


359. “I do not care about happiness simply because I believe that joy is something worth fighting for.” – Criss Jami


360. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.


361. “Courage means to keep making forward progress while you still feel afraid.” – Joyce Meyer


362. “A Tuesday after a three day weekend is like a double-whammy Monday!” – Unknown


363. “Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – Lolly Daskal


364. I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.


365. Years ago there was belief that the world was flat. People were born into that belief and they took it on faith that if they went too far from the shoreline in a boat they would fall off the earth. Columbus sailed on. Les Brown


366. “What’s another word for Thesaurus?” – Steven Wright


367. Happiness - Is There A Common Definition


368. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison


369. Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.


370. “Tuesdays are better with tacos.”


371. is an empty desk a sign? Albert Einstein


372. Did you ever notice how difficult it is to argue with someone who is not obsessed with being right? Wayne Dyer


373. Visualize something totally funny or crazy! This will instantly change how you feel because you can't visualize two things at the same time. Mark Snyder, Developing Good Habits


374. Words of Encouragement for Kids


375. “Tuesday is a huge day.” – Ian Mcdougal


376. It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.


377. Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.


378. You cannot be anything if you want to be everything. Solomon Schechter


379. “I never had an official job, but I did play at a local cantina every Tuesday night, and I babysat a lot.” ― Michelle Branch


380. “Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” —George Herbert


381. A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.


382. “Creativity is a highfalutin word for the work I have to do between now and Tuesday.” – Ray Kroc


383. “Man maintains his balance, poise, and sense of security only as he is moving forward.” – Maxwell Maltz


384. We humans are a silly bunch. We spend half our time trying to fit in with the crowd and the other half trying to stand out from it. Nick Vujicic


385. Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.


386. It is difficult, but not impossible, to conduct strictly honest business. Mahatma Gandhi


387. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. Bill Gates


388. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.


389. “Work hard for you and your own goals. Progress will come.”- Anonymous


390. Before you marry a person, you should at least make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are.


391. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


392. I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me.


393. Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.


394. When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.


395. “Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.” ― Albert Brooks


396. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.


397. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.


398. “You’re only as good as your last haircut.” – Fran Leibowitz


399. “No one is more powerful than Self. Why give your power to others when it’s for you to keep & thrive?” – Roxana M Jones


400. A funny thing happens when we start keeping promises to ourselves - we become unstoppable.


401. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.


402. Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers


403. This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.


404. “Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.” – Les Brown


405. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the dog’s owner – and the distance you are from your car.


406. “Life is a daily education -make it a point to know more when you go to bed than you did when you wake up, every day!” – Anonymous


407. The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.


408. “There was a time… when people didn’t go out of their house on Tuesday night at eight o’clock because Milton Berle was on.” ― Ed McMahon


409. “Press forward. Do not stop, do not linger in your journey, but strive for the mark set before you.” —George Whitefield


410. Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.


411. If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.


412. You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.


413. Life is a hurdle race, the winner has to cross all the hurdles and still maintain enthusiasm. M.K. Soni


414. Chasing success is like trying to squeeze a handful of water. The tighter you squeeze, the less water you get. When you chase it, your life becomes the chase, and you become a victim of always wanting more. Wayne W. Dyer, Everyday Wisdom For Success


415. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope


416. “Every champion was once a contender that refused to give up.” – Rocky Balboa


417. “On Tuesday, when it hails and snows/ the feeling on me grows and grows/ that hardly anybody knows/ if those are these or these are those.” – A. A. Milne


418. Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.


419. “Tuesday means we’re a day closer to a weekend spent dreading Monday.” – Unknown


420. “Hold onto positive things that elevate your spirit and be with positive people. Happy Tuesday.” – Tracey Edmonds


421. A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.


422. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Woody Allen


423. Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns


424. If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room. Confucius


425. “In my first 100 days, I will make Taco Tuesday the law.” – George Lopez


426. “Keep grinding! Stay persistent! One day you gonna wake up and be exactly where you dreamed you would be.” – Eric Thomas


427. A day without laughter is a day wasted.


428. “Tuesday brings meaning to my week.” ― Anthony T. Hincks


429. “I think it’s interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.” – Demetri Martin


430. “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” – Maya Angelou


431. “Tuesday’s child is full of grace.” – Anonymous


432. “No matter how good you might be in a movie, you’ll never be any better. But in a play, I can be better next Tuesday. That’s the thrill of it.” — Kevin Spacey


433. If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.


434. Related: We Don't Know About You, but We're Feeling These 32 Best Gifts for Taylor Swift Fans


435. Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.


436. “You may find Tuesday harder than Mondays, however, let it be a day full of smiles and laughter!” - Unknown


437. “It is easy to hate Tuesdays, but actually, Tuesdays are friendlier than Mondays. Tuesday can be quite fun once we accept that the weekend is gone and that we need to start giving our best again. Tuesday is a working day, but work can also be exciting.”- Unknown


438. “A fresh start, a clean slate, and a lot of potential for great things to come. That is what Tuesdays really are.” – Anonymous


439. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.


440. I don't want to be a genius - I have enough problems just trying to be a man. Albert Camus


441. People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages. Benjamin Franklin


442. “There is a breed of Tuesday in January in which time creeps and no light comes and the air is full of water and nobody really loves anybody.”- Zadie Smith


443. My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.


444. Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway. Mary Kay


445. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?


446. “Happy Tuesday! And since it’s Choose Day: Choose to smile, choose to be happy, choose to love, choose to bless, choose to be a blessing, choose to be humble, choose to be patient, choose to be kind and above all, choose God to guide your life.” – Unknown


447. Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil.


448. The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.


449. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams


450. It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them. Rose MacAulay


451. “Today is Thoughtful Tuesday. Try doing something nice for someone else whether it is a kind gesture or a positive remark.” – Anonymous


452. Cause your facial expression to change - smile. Catherine Pulsifer


453. “Keep grinding! Stay persistent! One day you’re gonna wake up and be exactly where you dreamed you would be.” — Eric Thomas


454. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.


455. “Let your courage inspire the world around you.” – Steve Maraboli


456. “I’m trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.” – Larry David


457. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.


458. Photography without seeing would be like eating without tasting. David McKay, Photography Demystified


459. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.


460. He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career.


461. The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine. Ralph Waldo Emerson


462. Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from his neck saying, Make Me Feel Important! Never forget this when working with people. Mary Kay Ash


463. Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. William James


464. Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.


465. “Start your day with these words: today is going to be a good Tuesday! And this morning is going to be an awesome one.”- Unknown


466. “Tuesday just called and wants to know what happened to Friday!”- Neil Leckman


467. I live about four muggings from Central Park.


468. “Appreciate all you have this Tuesday and you will find you may have a great day!” - Unknown


469. “On this beautiful Tuesday choose peace, choose love, and choose acceptance.”- Unknown


470. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?


471. “Tuesday is the day that brings happiness to life.” ― Anthony T. Hincks


472. “A lack of focus leads to a lack of progress. Focus. Grind. Grow.”-Anonymous


473. “Give the gift of confidence to yourself this Tuesday. Believe in your abilities and skills!”- Unknown


474. “You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.” – George Lorimer


475. “Addiction – when you can give up something any time, as long as it’s next Tuesday.” – Nikki Sixx


476. “Tuesday’s child is full of grace.” – Unknown


477. “Failure Will Never Overtake Me If My Determination To Succeed Is Strong Enough.” – Og Mandino


478. I don't think God put you on this earth just to make millions of dollars and ignore everything else. Chris Amundsen Helping Others


479. Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. That’s cleaning day. - Jim Miller


480. “Tuesday: I can’t even see the weekend from here.” – Unknown


481. “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde


482. “ People who say “good morning” should be forced to prove it. Happy Tuesday!”- Unknown


483. Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Will Rogers


484. It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.


485. “Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a new beginning.” – Anonymous


486. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.


487. “Everyone knows about Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Now help me spread the word about Giving Tuesday!” ― Bill Gates


488. People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election. Otto von Bismarck


489. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.


490. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” – George Carlin


491. Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours. Doug Larsen


492. “You can write the best column in the world on Monday, and it does you absolutely no good on Tuesday.” – Lewis Grizzard


493. I am too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and too determined to be defeated. - Unknown


494. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me?” —Ayn Rand


495. “Ric Flair, you put me in this position. You named me the Legend Killer and after Tuesday, you will respect me.” ― Randy Orton


496. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard


497. “Tuesdays are really just Mondays dressed in their Sunday best.”- Unknown


498. We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.


499. To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! Edgar Allan Poe


500. “Writing is?waiting for the word that may not be there until next Tuesday.” ― Richard Wilbur


501. Procrastination is an art form that is less desirable than painting a detailed landscape using a three inch wide brush. Byron Pulsifer


502. They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.


503. I am only human, although I regret it.


504. “Tuesday morning is a time to reflect upon what to include in your team meetings; it is your time to deliver words of passion that speak to the dazzling new roads ahead where each person is accountable for their own actions and behaviors; where each day represents a fresh start to be a positive influence; and, where self is expressed as unselfishness with each person you meet.” – Byron Pulsifer


505. Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.


506. Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV.


507. “Today is not just Tuesday, it is Transformation Tuesday. That means that success does not just come to you, you have to go out and get it. So what are you waiting for?” – Anonymous


508. “On this Tuesday, remember that an attitude is contagious so remember to have a good one.”- Unknown


509. A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers


510. f you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.


511. I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.


512. “Monday always passes and there will always be a Tuesday with a beautiful blue sky with few clouds.” – Unknown


513. Middle age is when you can still do everything you used to do - but you decide you'll do it tomorrow. Dr. Tom Haggai


514. You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Rabindranath Tagore


515. They are ill discoverers that think there is no land when they see nothing but sea. Francis Bacon


516. “Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.” – Plato


517. Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.


518. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.


519. “Someone pays me a hundred bucks every Tuesday to DJ. I don’t think I’ll ever give that up.” ― Shannyn Sossamon


520. “Take pride in how far you have come and have faith in how far you can go.” – Christian Larson


521. “Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.” – Frank Zappa


522. “Don't hold grudges, they will ruin your Tuesday. Forgiving helps you more than it helps others. Have a good Tuesday, forgive!” - Unknown


523. “You can’t fix stupid.” – Ron White


524. It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.


525. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?


526. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


527. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.


528. The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.


529. You can't shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond! Eric Thomas


530. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.


531. After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W - T - F. - Unknown


532. A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. Charles Gordy


533. “The days were heavy and sticky. All identical, one the same as the other. Soon they would even get rid of their one remaining distinction, the shell of their names: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.” – Ismail Kadaré


534. Our minds are like monkeys, swinging from one thought to another


535. Ahhhhh Tuesday. The day to remember all the things I didn't get done on Monday- and push them off until Wednesday. - Unknown


536. “Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” — Todd Stocker


537. “When we have a lot of work on our minds, all days feel the same. Either it’s Monday or Tuesday, we don’t feel anything different. We are only aware that time passes too quickly, without leaving us the chance to accomplish everything we want.”- Unknown


538. Tuesday is a huge day. - Ian Mcdougal


539. “There is a breed of Tuesday in January in which time creeps and no light comes and the air is full of water and nobody really loves anybody.” — Zadie Smith


540. Actions Speak Louder Than Words


541. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.


542. “It’s understandable that Monday is a burden in our lives, but when Tuesday becomes a burden too, we need to pay more attention to our lives and start to reconsider some of our choices. When we are tired of working on Tuesday, it is clear that work no longer excites us and that it is best to seek better opportunities.” - Unknown


543. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.


544. I am not funny. My writers were funny. My direction was funny. The situations were funny. But I am not funny. I am not funny. What I am is brave. Lucille Ball


545. “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” –Winston Churchill


546. “Tuesday is the new Monday.” – Unknown


547. Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake.


548. “Talent means nothing, while experience, acquired in humility and with hard work, means everything.” – Patrick Suskind


549. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.


550. Americans are incredibly impatient. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk.


551. “Three horrible facts about Tuesday: 1. Today is not Friday 2. Tomorrow is not Friday 3. Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.”- Unknown


552. Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.


553. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.


554. “Happy Tuesday. Don’t worry Friday is coming.” – Unknown


555. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Audrey Hepburn


556. Happy Tuesday! Having even one, small positive thought can change the rest of your day for the better. - Unknown


557. Tuesday: I can't even see the weekend from here. - Unknown


558. “Tuesday is a great day for deadlines because it is the day when people realize that, after a long weekend and a boring Monday, they really must get back to work and do something productive. A deadline on Tuesday reminds us of our responsibilities.”- Unknown


559. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.


560. “Tuesday had always been our day together. Most of my courses with Morrie were on Tuesdays, he had office hours on Tuesdays, and when I wrote my senior thesis. It was on Tuesdays that we sat together. We're Tuesday people.” —Mitch Albom


561. “Have an awesome Tuesday! Be happy and enjoy this day.” - Unknown


562. Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you someone who will make history. Give me someone without a goal, and I will give you a stock clerk J.C. Penny


563. When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.


564. Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.


565. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.


566. “Dear Tuesday, Nobody likes you. You’re just Monday’s ugly cousin.” – Unknown


567. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.


568. There are three ways in life to become popular: be rich, be beautiful, or be funny. Jon Macks, How to Be Funny


569. “It is hard to convince ourselves that Tuesday is an exciting day, but at least we can admit that Tuesday is closer to freedom than Monday. After a pessimistic Monday, we can start working responsibly while making plans for the weekend to come.”- Unknown


570. “The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.” – Colin R. Davis


571. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be meetings. Dave Barry


572. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!


573. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?


574. It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?


575. Tuesday is just another word for Monday. - Unknown


576. “No matter how good you might be in a movie, you’ll never be any better. But in a play, I can be better next Tuesday. That’s the thrill of it.” – Kevin Spacey


577. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap


578. “Give the world the best you have and the best will come back to you.” – Madeline Bridges


579. “Let Tuesday tarnish your day with love and smiles. Happy Tuesday.”- Anthony T. Hincks


580. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


581. “If this depression stays with us, the loser Tuesday is going to be the winner.” – Will Rogers


582. “Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Tuesday.” – Unknown


583. Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.


584. Money is like manure, of very little use except it be spread.


585. I am having Monday feelings towards Tuesday. - Unknown


586. Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. Oscar Wilde


587. If you want to look thin: hang out with fat people.