500 Best Quotes From The Five Love Languages (Gary Chapman)
1. “Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.”
2. “The emotional need for love must be met if we are to have emotional health. Married adults long to feel affection and love from their spouses. We feel secure when we are assured that our mate accepts us, wants us, and is committed to our well-being. During the “in-love” stage, we felt all of those emotions. It was heavenly while it lasted. Our mistake was in thinking it would last forever.”
3. “We no longer enjoy being with each other. We don’t meet each other’s needs.” Their stories bear testimony that adults as well as children have “love tanks.”
4. “Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments. At the heart of humankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another.”
5. “We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future”
6. “What’s the use of having nice things if you don’t ever get to enjoy them together?”
7. “If you are not a man or woman of words, if it is not your primary love language but you think it may be the love language of your spouse, let me suggest that you keep a notebook titled “Words of Affirmation.” When you read an article or book on love, record the words of affirmation you find.” – Gary Chapman
8. “In the area of linguistics, there are major language
9. “People who are "in love" lose interest in other pursuits. That is why we call it "obsession.”
10. “Professor Leo Buscaglia notes, "There seems to be accumulating evidence that there is actually an inborn need for this togetherness, this is human interaction, this love. It seems that without these close ties with other human beings, a new born infant, for example, can regress developmentally, lose consciousness, fall into idocy and die.”
11. “Each of us has an individualized perception of the purposes of money, and we have various emotions associated with spendint it.”
12. “When your spouse’s emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach his highest potential in life. But when the love tank is empty and he feels used but not loved, the whole world looks dark and he will likely never reach his potential for good in the world.”
13. “The manner in which we speak is exceedingly important. An ancient sage once said, “A soft answer turns away anger.” When your spouse is angry and upset and lashing out words of heat, if you choose to be loving, you will not reciprocate with additional heat but with a soft voice. You will receive what he is saying as information about his emotional feelings. You will let him tell you of his hurt, anger, and perception of events. You will seek to put yourself in his shoes and see the event through his eyes and then express softly and kindly your understanding of why he feels that way. If you have wronged him, you will be willing to confess the wrong and ask forgiveness. If your motivation is different from what he is reading, you will be able to explain your motivation kindly. You will seek understanding and reconciliation, and not to prove your own perception as the only logical way to interpret what has happened. That is mature love—love to which we aspire if we seek a growing marriage.”
14. “Not until it was almost too late did they discover that they were not speaking Ashley’s primary love language.”
15. “I am married to you, and I choose to look out for your interests.” Then the one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision.”
16. “The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history.”
17. “It's impossible to defend oneself in the absence of goodwill”
18. “The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.”
19. “Quality time does not mean we must spend our moments gazing into each other's eyes. It may mean doing something together that we both enjoy. The particular activity is secondary, only a means to creating the sense of togetherness. The important thing is not the activity itself but the emotions that are created between both.”
20. “Another reality about relationships is that they are never static. All of us experience changes in relationships but a few stop to analyse why a relationship gets better or worse.”
21. “What Happens to Love”
22. “Love doesn’t erase the past, but it makes the future different.”
23. “true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course.”
24. “The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. Yes, it happened. Certainly it hurt. And it may still hurt, but he has acknowledged his failure and asked your forgiveness. We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”
25. If you find speaking 'Words of Affirmation' is difficult for you, practice in front of a mirror. Use a cue card if you must, and remember, words are important.
26. “Your words may give your spouse the courage necessary to take that first step.”
27. “Estaba pensando en ti. Estabas conmigo, incluso cuando te encontrabas fuera”»”
28. “Having said all of that, let me suggest that you spend some time writing down what you think is your primary love language. Then list the other four in order of importance. Also write down what you think is the primary love language of your spouse. You may also list the other four in order of importance if you wish. Sit down with your spouse and discuss what you guessed to be his/her primary love language. Then tell each other what you consider to be your own primary love language.”
29. “Did your love evaporate immediately after the wedding, or was it a gradual loss?” I inquired.”
30. “the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Words of”
31. “Clearly our bodies are for touching, but not for abuse.”
32. “Discipline is not a negative word. It comes from the Greek word "to train.”
33. “If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.”
34. “Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Words of affirmation will meet that need in many individuals.”
35. “Welcome to the real world of marriage, where hairs are always on the sink and little white spots cover the mirror, where discussions center not on “where should we eat tonight?” but “why didn’t you get milk?” It is a world where bills and in-laws and jobs and children all clamor for our attention, a world where routine and resentment can silently eat away at the love we once had. In this world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers can become enemies, and marriage a battlefield.”
36. “Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.”
37. “What was her desire? Quality time with Bill. She wanted his attention. She wanted him to focus on her, to give her time, to do things with her.
38. “morning stroll along the coast, the spring they put in a prairie garden, the day they revisited their childhood neighborhood, the night they attended their first major-league baseball game together, the one and only time they went skiing together and he broke his leg, the quiet times of working side by side at night in their home office, and oh yes, the awe of standing beneath the waterfall after the two-mile hike. They can almost feel the mist as they remember. Those are memories of love, especially for the person whose primary love language is quality time.”
39. “If you need to learn the language of quality conversation, begin by noting the emotions you feel away from home. Carry a small notepad and keep it with you daily. Three times each day, ask yourself, “What emotions have I felt in the last three hours? What did I feel on the way to work when the driver behind me was riding my bumper? What did I feel when I stopped at the gas station and the automatic pump did not shut off and the side of the car was covered with gas? What did I feel when I got to the office and found that my secretary had been assigned to a special work project for the morning? What did I feel when my supervisor told me that the project I was working on had to be completed in three days when I thought I had another two weeks?” – Gary Chapman
40. “WHAT’S THE ONE thing that most affects how much people enjoy their jobs? First and foremost, people thrive when they feel appreciated by their supervisors and colleagues—and that means they sense the appreciation is heartfelt and authentic.”
41. “A central aspect to quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity... Togetherness has to do with focused attention.”
42. “Dr. Dorothy Tennov, a psychologist, has done long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years.”
43. “Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement.”
44. “A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary in order to express love more effectively. Remember, there are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes, but there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of your spouse.”
45. “He dreams of buying a new car, but she flatly says, “We can’t afford it.”
46. “During the 'in-love' stage, we felt all of those emotions. It was heavenly while it lasted. Our mistake was in thinking it would last forever.
47. “Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Words”
48. “choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”
49. “Love is reaching out to try to get to the other person.”
50. “Experiente indragostirii"[...]Are durata scurta (de obicei sub doi ani)si pare sa serveasca omenirii intr-un mod similar strigatului de imperechere al gastelor din Canada.”
51. “What good is the house, the cars, the place at the beach, or any of the rest of it if your wife doesn’t love you?”
52. “Feeling loved by a spouse enhances our sense of significance. We reason, If someone loves me, I must have significance.”
53. “the words”
54. “You may truly love your child, but unless she feels it—she will not feel loved.”
55. “He was a sincere husband who failed to understand the tremendous power of presence. His being there for his wife was more important than anything else in her mind. Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts. Your body becomes the symbol of your love. Remove the symbol, and the sense of love evaporates.”
56. “It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our”
57. “I have aced all my essays and writing assignments since using SuperSummary. The guide themes, chapter outlines and character summaries are more detailed than other sites.”
58. “Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, I believe that you will have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving marriage. Love need not evaporate after the wedding, but in order to keep it alive most of us will have to put forth the effort to learn a secondary love language.” – Gary Chapman
59. “The key is to learn the primary love language of your spouse and choose to speak it.”
60. “Each of the love languages is vulnerable to insincere manipulation. The use of words your spouse loves to hear just so they will engage sexually with you is wrong. So is attempting to do a lot of chores for someone just so they will praise you.
61. “Lack of courage often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things that we would like to do.”
62. “when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires.”
63. “Respect begins with this attitude: "I acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth. God has endowed you with certain abilities and emotions. Therefore I respect you as a person. I will not desecrate your worth by making critical remarks about your intellect, your judgment or your logic. I will seek to understand you and grant you the freedom to think differently from the way I think and to experience emotions that I may not experience." Respect means that you give the other person the freedom to be an individual.”
64. “What’s in it for me? The pleasure of living with a spouse who feels loved and knowing that I have learned to speak his or her love language fluently.” – Gary Chapman
65. “Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardship our lot in life.”
66. “Conflicts are not a sign you’ve married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.”
67. “Love is not our only emotional need. Psychologists have observed that among our basic needs are the need for security, self-worth, and significance. Love, however, interfaces with all of those. If I feel loved by my spouse, I can relax, knowing that my lover will do me no ill. I feel secure in her presence. I may face many uncertainties in my vocation. I may have enemies in other areas of my life, but with my spouse I feel secure.”
68. “Can emotional love be reborn? You bet! The key is to learn the primary love language of your spouse and choose to speak it.”
69. “Podríamos besarnos por la eternidad si no tuviéramos que ir a la escuela o al trabajo.”
70. “Quality conversation is quite different from the first love language. Words of affirmation focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses on what we are hearing. If I am sharing my love for you by means of quality time and we are going to spend that time in conversation, it means I will focus on drawing you out, listening sympathetically to what you have to say. I will ask questions, not in a badgering manner but with a genuine desire to understand your thoughts, feelings, and desires.”
71. “I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.”
72. “When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. —Psalm 94:19”
73. “The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth.”
74. “all wives loved as she does, fewer men would be looking over the fence.”
75. “El potencial latente dentro de tu cónyuge en sus esferas de inseguridad quizá esté a la espera de tus palabras alentadoras.”
76. “Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.” – Gary Chapman
77. “Perhaps your spouse has untapped potential in one or more areas of life. That potential may be awaiting your encouraging words. Perhaps she needs to enroll in a course to develop that potential. Maybe he needs to meet some people who have succeeded in that area, who can give him insight on the next step he needs to take. Your words may give your spouse the courage necessary to take that first step.”
78. “Self-revelation does not come easy for some of us. Many adults grew up in homes where the expression of thoughts and feelings was not encouraged but condemned. To request a toy was to receive a lecture on the sad state of family finances. The child went away feeling guilty for having the desire, and he quickly learned not to express his desires. When he expressed anger, the parents responded with harsh and condemning words. Thus, the child learned that expressing angry feelings is not appropriate. If the child was made to feel guilty for expressing disappointment at not being able to go to the store with his father, he learned to hold his disappointment inside. By the time we reach adulthood, many of us have learned to deny our feelings. We are no longer in touch with our emotional selves.”
79. “Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.”
80. “We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want them to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.”
81. “In that day the wolf and the lamb will live together; the leopard will lie down with the baby goat. The calf and the yearling will be safe with the lion, and a little child will lead them all. —Isaiah 11:6”
82. “Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. To the person whose primary love language is physical touch, the message will be far louder than the words “I hate you” or “I love you.” A”
83. “True love cannot begin until the”in love” experience has run it’s course.”
84. “Some husbands and wives think they are spending time together when, in reality, they are only living in close proximity. They are in the same house at the same time, but they are not together. A wife who is texting while her husband tries to talk to her is not giving him quality time, because he does not have her full attention.”
85. “If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited. We must rely on pointing, grunting, drawing pictures, or acting out our ideas. We can communicate, but it is awkward. Language differences are part and parcel of human culture. If we are to communicate effectively across cultural lines, we must learn the language of those with whom we wish to communicate.”
86. “No siempre podemos cambiar las circunstancias, pero podemos sobrevivir si nos sentimos amados.”
87. “The Order will not splinter," Lucan replied, terse with fury for what Dragos was forcing them to consider. "We are warriors, Brethren. We are kin. We will not let anyone scatter us in terror."
88. “studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. If it is a secretive love affair, it may last a little longer. Eventually, however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the warts of the other person. Her endearing “quirks” are now merely annoying. His sharp sense of humor now wounds. Those little bumps we overlooked when we were in love now become huge mountains.”
89. “The latent potential within your spouse in his or her areas of insecurity may await your encouraging words.”
90. “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”
91. “At the heart of mankind’s existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.”
92. “I did it because I love her.” That explanation is given for all kinds of actions. A politician is involved in an adulterous relationship, and he calls it love. The preacher, on the other hand, calls it sin. The wife of an alcoholic picks up the pieces after her husband’s latest episode. She calls it love, but the psychologist calls it codependency. The parent indulges all the child’s wishes, calling it love. The family therapist would call it irresponsible parenting. What is loving behavior?”
93. “I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday, and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful present.”
94. “It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.”
95. “The good news is that Dead Seas can learn to talk and Babbling Brooks can learn to listen. We are influenced by our personality but not controlled by it.”
96. “Abuse of gift-giving can occur when a child is living with a custodial parent following a separation or divorce. The noncustodial parent is often tempted to shower a child with gifts, perhaps from the pain of separation or feelings of guilt over leaving the family. When these gifts are overly expensive, ill-chosen, and used as a comparison with what the custodial parent can provide, they are really a form of bribery, an attempt to buy the child’s love. They may also be a subconscious way of getting back at the custodial parent. Children receiving such ill-advised gifts may eventually see them for what they are, but in the meantime they are learning that at least one parent regards gifts as a substitute for genuine love. This can make children materialistic and manipulative, as they learn to manage people’s feelings and behavior by the improper use of gifts. This kind of substitution can have tragic consequences for the children’s character and integrity.”
97. “Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” If”
98. “Los psicólogos han observado que entre nuestras necesidades básicas están las de seguridad, autoestima e importancia. Sin embargo, el amor interactúa con todas estas.”
99. “The choice to do or say something for the other person's benefit, that would help make them a better person, something that would enrich their lives and make their lives more meaningful for them.”
100. “am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. The way we express those desires, however, is all-important. If they come across as demands, we have erased the possibility of intimacy and will drive our spouse away.”
101. “One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up. Solomon, author of the ancient Hebrew Wisdom Literature, wrote, “The tongue has the power of life and death.”1 Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.”
102. “If her primary love language is quality time and her dialect is quality conversation, her emotional love tank will never be filled until he tells her his thoughts and feelings.”
103. “There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with the clearest clue to her primary love language.”
104. “People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.”
105. “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. “I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you. Even though my feelings of hurt may linger, I will not allow what has happened to come between us. I hope that we can learn from this experience. You are not a failure because you have failed. You are my spouse, and together we will go on from here.” Those are the words of affirmation expressed in the dialect of kind words.”
106. “Anger held inside becomes hate.”
107. “Estoy sorprendido de cómo muchos individuos estropean cada nuevo día con el ayer. Insisten en traer hoy los fracasos del ayer y, al hacerlo, contaminan un presente maravilloso en potencia.”
108. “The emotional need for love must be met if we are to have emotional health. Married”
109. “Nothing has more potential for strengthening one’s sense of well-being than effectively loving and being loved.”
110. “Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction—the satisfaction of having genuinely”
111. “For example, a wife might pressure her husband to look for a more lucrative job. The wife thinks she’s encouraging her spouse, but to him it sounds more like condemnation. But if he has the desire and motivation to seek a better position, her words will bolster his resolve. Until he has that desire, her words will come across as judgmental and guilt inducing. They express not love but rejection.”
112. “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.”
113. “I’m sorry. I know I have hurt you, but I would like to make the future different. I would like to love you in your language. I would like to meet your needs.” I have seen marriages rescued from the brink of divorce when couples make the choice to love.”
114. “La necesidad de importancia es la fuerza emocional detrás de gran parte de nuestra conducta.”
115. “You may also want to try giving indirect words of affirmation—that is, saying positive things about your spouse when he or she is not present. Eventually, someone will tell your spouse, and you will get full credit for love. Tell your wife’s mother how great your wife is. When her mother tells her what you said, it will be amplified, and you will get even more credit. Also affirm your spouse in front of others when he or she is present.”
116. “When you are given public honor for an accomplishment, be sure to share the credit with your spouse.”
117. “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love.”
118. “If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.”
119. “A gentle answer turns away wrath.”
120. “We believe that she is committed to meeting our needs, that he loves us as much as we love him and would never do anything to hurt us. That thinking is always fanciful. Not that we are insincere in what we think and feel, but we are unrealistic. We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature, we are egocentric.”
121. “We are influenced by our personality but not controlled by it.”
122. “ENCOURAGING”
123. “and no one likes to be forced to do anything. In fact, love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”
124. “After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years.”
125. “Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage. A loving spouse can supply that all-important catalyst.”
126. “If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.”
127. “The deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Words of affirmation will meet that need in many individuals.
128. “I am indebted to a host of professionals who”
129. “Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities and personality.”
130. “With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, “I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?”
131. “Don’t worry about your savings. You will always be a saver, but to invest in loving your spouse is to invest in blue-chip stocks.”
132. “Welcome to the real world of marriage, where hairs are always on the sink and little white spots cover the mirror, where arguments center on which way the toilet paper comes off and whether the lid should be up or down. It is a world where shoes do not walk to the closet and drawers do not close themselves, where coats do not like hangers and socks go AWOL during laundry. In this world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers can become enemies, and marriage a battlefield.”
133. “I’ve been wanting to ask someone this for a long time,” he said. “What happens to the love after you get married?”
134. “William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.”
135. “Love doesn’t keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn’t bring up past failures. None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the best or right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future.”
136. “Some couples believe that the end of the “in-love” experience means they have only two options: resign themselves to a life of misery with their spouse; or jump ship and try again. Our generation has opted for the latter,”
137. “My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with the clearest clue to her primary love language. People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. Their criticism is an ineffective way of pleading for love. If we understand that, it may help us process their criticism in a more productive manner.” – Gary Chapman
138. “I would like to make three other observations. First, they illustrate clearly that what we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.”
139. “Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse's primary love language is receiving gifts”
140. “Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love. A wife says, “He ignores me all day long and then wants to jump in bed with me. I hate it.” She is not a wife who hates sex; she is a wife desperately pleading for emotional love.”
141. “Busque o entendimento e a reconciliação, em vez de impor sua percepção pessoal como a única maneira lógica de interpretar a situação.”
142. “Implicit love touches require little time but much thought, especially if physical touch is not your primary love language and if you did not grow up in a “touching family.” Sitting close to each other on the couch as you watch your favorite television program requires no additional time but may communicate your love loudly. Touching your spouse as you walk through the room where he is sitting takes only a moment. Touching each other when you leave the house and again when you return may involve only a brief kiss or hug but will speak volumes to your spouse.” – Gary Chapman
143. “its peak, the “in-love” experience is euphoric. We are emotionally obsessed with each other. We go to sleep thinking of one another. When we rise, that person is the first thought on our minds. We long to be together. Spending time together is like playing in the anteroom of heaven. When we hold hands, it seems as if our blood flows together. We could kiss forever if we didn’t have to go to school or work. When we embrace, time seems to stop …”
144. “Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love. To the person whose primary love language is physical touch, the message will be far louder than the words “I hate you” or “I love you.” – Gary Chapman
145. “those who don’t divorce, do they learn to live with the emptiness, or does love really stay alive in some marriages?”
146. “El perdón es el camino del amor.”
147. “The most essential emotional element in a happy and healthy marriage is love.”
148. “When my spouse lovingly invests time, energy, and effort in me, I believe that I am significant. Without love, I may spend a lifetime in search of significance, self-worth, and security. When I experience love, it influences all of those needs positively. I am now freed to develop my potential. I am more secure in my self-worth and can now turn my efforts outward instead of being obsessed with my own needs. True love always liberates. In the context of marriage, if we do not feel loved, our differences are magnified. We come to view each other as a threat to our happiness. We fight for self-worth and significance, and marriage becomes a battlefield rather than a haven. Love is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of security in which we can seek answers to those things that bother us. In the security of love, a couple can discuss differences without condemnation. Conflicts can be resolved. Two people who are different can learn to live together in harmony. We discover how to bring out the best in each other. Those are the rewards of love.”
149. “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank.”
150. “Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love.”
151. “Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often courage. A loving spouse can supply that all-important catalyst.”
152. “Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement”
153. “What kind of work do you do?”
154. “Každé dieťa má citovú nádrž, ktorá potrebuje byť naplnená láskou. Keď má dieťa pocit, že je skutočne milované, bude sa vyvíjať normálne, no keď je citová nádrž lásky prázdna, dieťa sa bude správať zle.”
155. “At the heart of mankind's existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.”
156. “Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships.”
157. “The children who feel loved by their parents and peers will develop a primary emotional love language based on their unique psychological makeup and the way their parents and other significant persons expressed love to them. They will speak and understand one primary love language. They may later learn a secondary love language, but they will always feel most comfortable with their primary language.” – Gary Chapman
158. “What is your primary love language? What makes you feel most loved by your spouse? What do you desire above all else? If the answer to those questions does not leap to your mind immediately, perhaps it will help to look at the negative use of love languages. What does your spouse do or say or fail to do or say that hurts you deeply?” – Gary Chapman
159. “Nobody has the power to make you miserable . . . unless you choose to give them that power. Choose to enjoy every drop of today.”
160. “A palavra “amor” é a mais importante do nosso idioma — e também a mais confusa. Pensadores seculares e religiosos concordam que o amor desempenha um papel central na vida.”
161. “exploring new worlds, but I feel secure in the warmth of their love.”
162. “It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction—the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another.”
163. “He ignores me all day long and then wants to jump in bed with me. I hate it.” She is not a wife who hates sex; she is a wife desperately pleading for emotional love.”
164. “Love doesn’t keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn’t bring up past failures. None of us is perfect.”
165. “If her primary love language is quality time and her dialect is quality conversation, her emotional love tank will never be filled until he tells her his thoughts and feelings.” – Gary Chapman
166. “I am significant because I stand at the apex of the created order. I have the ability to think in abstract terms, communicate my thoughts via words, and make decisions. By means of printed or recorded words, I can benefit from the thoughts of those who have preceded me. I can profit from others’ experiences, though they lived in a different age and culture. I experience the death of family and friends and sense that there is existence beyond the material. I discover that, in all cultures, people believe in a spiritual world. My heart tells me it is true even when my mind, trained in scientific observation, raises critical questions.”
167. “I may not feel significant until someone expresses love to me.”
168. “I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you. Even though my feelings of hurt may linger, I will not allow what has happened to come between us. I hope that we can learn from this experience. You are not a failure because you have failed. You are my spouse, and together we will go on from here.” Those are the words of affirmation expressed in the dialect of kind words.”
169. “Learn me then you will understand my love language.” — Ojtiwa
170. “We are relational creatures. All humans live in community and most people seek social interaction. In western culture, isolation is seen as one of the most stringent of punishments. Even criminals do not aspire to solitary confinement.”
171. “Good marriages are built upon a combination of emotional love and a common commitment to a core of beliefs about what is important in life and what we wish to do with our lives. Speaking each other's primary love language creates the emotional climate where these beliefs can be fleshed out in daily life.”
172. “The number of ways to express love within a love language is limited only by one’s imagination. The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.” – Gary Chapman
173. “Many people mess up every new day with what happened yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday, and in so doing pollute a potentially wonderful day. When bitterness, resentment, and revenge are allowed to live in the human heart, words of affirmation will be impossible to speak. The best thing we can do with past failures is to let them be history.”
174. “If you are to become an effective gift giver, you may have to change your attitude about money.”
175. “Nuestra necesidad emocional más básica no es enamorarnos, sino ser amado de verdad por el otro, conocer un amor que brota de la razón y de la decisión, no del instinto. Necesito que me ame alguien que decida amarme, que vea en mí algo digno de amar.”
176. “On the other hand, we can share pain, sadness, and even anger in a kind manner, and that will be an expression of love. “I felt disappointed and hurt that you didn’t offer to help me this evening,” said with gentle directness, can be an expression of love. The person speaking wants to be known by her spouse. She is taking steps to build intimacy by sharing her feelings.”
177. “We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve. A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to understanding the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and desires.”
178. “Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”
179. “Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other’s eyes. It means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.”
180. “Solomon, author of the ancient Hebrew Wisdom Literature, wrote, “The tongue has the power of life and death.”2”
181. “A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to understanding the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and desires.”
182. “The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. It is a fact, however, that when we receive afirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate.”
183. “Research seems to indicate that there is a third and better alternative: We can recognize the in love experience for what it was—a temporary emotional high—and now pursue “real love” with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.
184. “You can simply remember that behavioral expressions of love can be divided into physical touch, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation.”
185. “Keith, Allison’s husband, had paid little attention to Allison’s writing in the early days of their marriage. He was busy with his own profession and trying to make a place for himself in that world. In time, however, Keith had realized that life’s deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments but in relationships.”
186. “A man is about as big as the things that make him angry. WINSTON CHURCHILL”
187. “Physician Albert Scheweitzer said. " We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness." Professor Leo Buscaglia notes, "There seems to be accumulating evidence that there is actually an inborn need for this togetherness, this human interaction, this love. It seems that without these close ties with other human beings, a new born infant, for example, can regress developmentally, lose consciousness, fall into idiocy and die.”
188. “Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting.”
189. “spouse. Make sure it relates to your primary love language and will help replenish your empty tank. 3. When your spouse responds and meets your need, you will be able to react with not only your will but your emotions as well. Without overreacting, continue positive feedback and affirmation of your spouse at these times. 4. As your marriage begins to truly heal and grow deeper, make sure you don’t “rest on your laurels” and forget your spouse’s love language and daily needs. You’re on the road to your dreams, so stay there! Put appointments into your schedule to assess together how you’re doing. A Personal Word Well, what do you think? Having”
190. “The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. Yes, it happened. Certainly it hurt. And it may still hurt, but he has acknowledged his failure and asked your forgiveness. We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. “I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you. Even though my feelings of hurt may linger, I will not allow what has happened to come between us. I hope that we can learn from this experience. You are not a failure because you have failed. You are my spouse, and together we will go on from here.” Those are the words of affirmation expressed in the dialect of kind words.”
191. “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It”
192. “difference between a dating couple and a married couple? Dating couples look at each other and talk. Married couples sit there and gaze around the restaurant. You’d think they went there to eat!”
193. “As the instinctual nature of the bird dictates the building of a nest, so the instinctual nature of the in-love experience pushes us to do outlandish and unnatural things for each other.”
194. “Research seems to indicate that there is a third and better alternative: We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was—a temporary emotional high—and now pursue “real love” with our spouse.”
195. “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. “I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you.”
196. “For the female, sexual desire is far more influenced by her emotions. If she feels loved and admired and appreciated by her husband, then she has a desire to be physically intimate with him. But without the emotional closeness, she may have little physical desire. Her biological sexual drive is closely tied to her emotional need for love.”
197. “Don’t be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won’t even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.”
198. “We have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever. We will always have the wonderful feelings that we have at this moment. Nothing could ever come between us. Nothing will ever overcome our love for each other. [..] Unfortunately, the eternality of the in-love experience is fiction, not fact. The late psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov conducted long range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years.”
199. “The manner in which we speak is exceedingly important.”
200. “Loving others sometimes requires a love far greater and purer than our own. — Dawn Lilly”
201. “If we can agree that the word love permeates human society, both historically and in the present, we must also agree that it is a most confusing word. We use it in a thousand ways. We”
202. “los cumplidos verbales son motivadores más estupendos que los regaños constantes.”
203. “Understanding the five love languages and learning to speak the primary love language of your spouse may radically affect his or her behavior. People behave differently when their emotional love tanks are full.” – Gary Chapman
204. “And those who don’t divorce, do they learn to live with the emptiness, or does love really stay alive in some marriages? If so, how?”
205. “The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. Yes, it happened. Certainly it hurt. And it may still hurt, but he has acknowledged his failure and asked your forgiveness. We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It”
206. “Physical touch is also a powerful vehicle for communicating marital love. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. For some individuals, physical touch is their primary love language. Without it, they feel unloved. With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their spouse.” – Gary Chapman.
207. “Nimeni n-ar trebui să devină vreodată "preș" în fața cuiva. Putem îngădui să fim folosiți, dar să nu uităm că suntem oameni și avem emoții, gânduri și dorințe. Avem capacitatea să luăm hotărâri și să trecem la fapte. Faptul că ne lăsăm folosiți sau manipulați de celălalt nu este o dovadă de iubire. Este, în realitate, un act de trădare. Îi permiți partenerului să-și cultive obiceiuri inumane. Iubirea grăiește astfel: "Te iubesc prea mult ca să te las să mă tratezi așa. Nu e bine nici pentru tine, nici pentru mine.”
208. “The tongue has the power of life and death.”1 Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.”
209. “People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.”
210. “When my spouse lovingly invests time, energy, and effort in me, I believe that I am significant. Without love, I may spend a lifetime in search of significance, self-worth, and security.”
211. “The statement “I love you,” when said with kindness and tenderness, can be a genuine expression of love. But what about “I love you?” The question mark changes the whole meaning of those three words.”
212. “Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.”
213. “Keith had realized that life’s deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments but in relationships. He”
214. “We need not agree on everything, but we must find a way to handle our differences so that they do not become divisive.”
215. “I dream of a day when children can grow up in homes filled with love and security, where children’s developing energies can be channeled to learning and serving rather than seeking the love they did not receive at home.”
216. “I am convinced that keeping the emotional love tank full is as important to a marriage as maintaining the proper oil level is to an automobile. Running your marriage on an empty “love tank” may cost you even more than trying to drive your car without oil.”
217. “The essential ingredients in a quality activity are: (1) at least one of you wants to do it, (2) the other is willing to do it, (3) both of you know why you are doing it—to express love by being together.”
218. “We must first learn what is important to our spouse.”
219. “Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. Having confessed my failure and asked forgiveness, I can do nothing more to mitigate the hurt it may have caused my spouse. When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness. If I choose justice and seek to pay her back or make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself the judge and her the felon. Intimacy becomes impossible. If, however, I choose to forgive, intimacy can be restored. Forgiveness is the way of love.”
220. “Discovering the primary love language of your spouse is essential if you are to keep his/her emotional love tank full.” – Gary Chapman
221. “am indebted to a host of professionals who have influenced my concepts of love. Among them are psychiatrists Ross Campbell and Judson Swihart. For editorial assistance, I am indebted to Debbie Barr, Cathy Peterson, and Betsey Newenhuyse. The technical expertise of Tricia Kube and Don Schmidt made it possible to meet publication deadlines. Last, and most important, I want to express my gratitude to the hundreds of couples who, over the years, have shared the intimate side of their lives with me. This”
222. “Little by little, the illusion of intimacy evaporates, and the individual desires, emotions, thoughts, and behavior patterns assert themselves. They are two individuals. Their minds have not melded together, and their emotions mingled only briefly in the ocean of love.”
223. “Love is the attitude that says, “I am married to you, and I choose to look out for your interests.” Then the one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision.”
224. “It may surprise you that the primary lifetime threat to your child is his or her own anger.”
225. “Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. Love is the important ingredient in one’s search for meaning.”
226. “Forgiveness is an expression of love.”
227. “We even fall in love with love.”
228. “If, however, I choose to forgive, intimacy can be restored. Forgiveness is the way of love.”
229. “How does your spouse respond when you try to show affection?”
230. “Somos egocéntricos por naturaleza. Nuestro mundo gira a nuestro alrededor. Ninguno de nosotros es altruista por completo.”
231. “Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have a fundamental desire to connect with others. We may be in the presence of people all day long, but we do not always feel connected.”
232. “Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.”
233. “The ones we love often don’t need our judgment—they need our prayers. — Dianne Fraser —”
234. “Like words of affirmation, the language of quality time also has many dialects. One of the most common dialects is that of quality conversation. By quality conversation, I mean sympathetic dialogue where two individuals are sharing their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.” – Gary Chapman
235. “love hugging and kissing my wife after we’ve been apart for a while.”
236. “Love is a verb.”
237. “Children who do not feel loved by their parents and peers will also develop a primary love language. However, it will be somewhat distorted in much the same way as some children may learn poor grammar and have an underdeveloped vocabulary.” – Gary Chapman
238. “The decision to get married will impact one's life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush into marriage with little or no preparation for making a marriage successful. In fact, many couples give far more attention to making plans for the wedding than making plans for marriage. The wedding festivities last only a few hours, while the marriage, we hope, will last for a lifetime”
239. “primary love language was words of affirmation. He was a hard worker, and he enjoyed his work, but what he wanted most from his wife was expressions of appreciation for his work. That”
240. “The emotional need for love, however, is not simply a childhood phenomenon. That need follows us into adulthood and into marriage. The”
241. “Love is the most important word in the English language--and the most confusing.”
242. “We can request love, but we cannot demand love.”
243. “For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.”
244. “The problem is that we have overlooked one fundamental truth: People speak different love languages.”
245. “Los ingredientes esenciales en una actividad de calidad son: (1) que al menos uno de los dos quiera hacerlo, (2) el otro esté dispuesto a hacerlo, y (3) ambos sepan por qué lo hacen: expresarse amor al estar juntos.”
246. “What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.”
247. “The love language of one person is not necessarily the love language of another.” – Gary Chapman
248. “Bun venit in lumea reala a casniciei, in care intotdeauna raman fire de par in chiuveta si sunt pete pe oglinda, iar discutiile pornesc de la felul in care este pus sulul de hartie igienica si daca trebuie lasat sau nu capacul toaletei. Este o lume in care pantofii n-ajung singuri in dulap, iar sertarele nu se inchid de la sine, hainelor nu le plac cuierele si sosetele nu sfarsesc direct in cos. In aceasta lume, si o privire poate jigni, iar un cuvant poate distruge totul. Iubitii au devenit intre timp dusmani, iar casnicia, un teren de lupta.”
249. “When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness. If I choose justice and seek to pay her back or make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself the judge and she the felon.”
250. “Research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.”
251. “Now I realize that she didn’t want advice when she told me about her struggles at work. She wanted sympathy. She wanted me to listen, to give her attention, to let her know that I could understand the hurt, the stress, the pressure. She wanted to know that I loved her and that I was with her. She didn’t want advice; she just wanted to know that I understood.”
252. “Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments.”
253. “You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.”
254. “A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me,” or, “She remembered me.” You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter whether it costs money.”
255. “The “in-love” experience temporarily meets that need, but it is inevitably a quick fix and, as we shall learn later, has a limited and predictable life span.”
256. “Can emotional love be reborn in a marriage? You bet. The key is to learn the primary love language of your spouse and choose to speak it.”
257. “I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.”
258. “With enough criticism, you may get acquiescence from your spouse. He may do what you want, but probably it will not be an expression of love.”
259. “After we come down from the high of the “in-love” obsession, the emotional need for love resurfaces because it is fundamental to our nature.”
260. “Love helps those that are hard to pray for turn into people who are easy to pray for. — Donna Collins Tinsley —”
261. “It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires.”
262. “It’s hard to believe anything else when you are in love.”
263. “True love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course. We cannot take credit for the kind and generous things we do while under the influence of the obsession.”
264. “My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.” – Gary Chapman
265. “Meeting my wife’s need for love is a choice I make each day.”
266. “When you make a request of your spouse, you are affirming his or her worth and abilities. You are in essence indcating that she has something or can do something that is meaningful and worthwhile to you. When, however, you make demands, you have become not a lover but a tyrant. Your spouse will feel not affirmed but belittled. A request introduces the element of choice. Your mate may choose to respond to your request or to deny it, because love is always a choice. That's what makes it meaningful.”
267. “I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry.”
268. “The best way to love your children is to love their mother [father].” That’s true. The quality of your marriage greatly affects the way you relate to your children—and the way they receive love. If your marriage is healthy—both partners treating each other with kindness, respect, and integrity—you and your spouse will feel and act as partners in parenting.”
269. “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”
270. “When we hold hands, it seems as if our blood flows together. We could kiss forever if we didn’t have to go to school or work.”
271. “The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. Yes, it happened. Certainly it hurt. And it may still hurt, but he has acknowledged his failure and asked your forgiveness. We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.”
272. “I’m now much less of an asset to the company than I could be. I keep my head down and for self-preservation just do my work with little conversation with anyone. Yet the irony is this: in my self-preservation, I’m actually destroying myself. In bottling up my unexpressed feelings, I’m making myself sick emotionally and physically.”
273. “Love is the attitude that says, “I am married to you, and I choose to look out for your interests.”
274. “love is always a choice. That’s what makes it meaningful.”
275. “Life’s deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments, but in relationships.”
276. “One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up. Solomon, author of the ancient Hebrew Wisdom Literature, wrote, “The tongue has the power of life and death.”2 Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other. Solomon further noted, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
277. “The desire for reconciliation is often more potent than the desire for justice. The more intimate the relationship, the deeper the desire for reconciliation.”
278. “Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse.”
279. “A nadie le gusta que lo obliguen a hacer algo. Es más, el amor se da siempre con libertad. No se puede exigir el amor. Podemos pedirnos cosas el uno al otro, pero nunca debemos exigir nada. Las peticiones dan dirección al amor, pero las demandas detienen el flujo del amor.”
280. “Seldom do a husband and wife have the same primary emotional love language. We tend to speak our primary love language, and we become confused when our spouse does not understand what we are communicating. We are expressing our love, but the message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them, is a foreign language.” – Gary Chapman
281. “In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course.”
282. “Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.”
283. “You can’t train them to express their anger in mature ways simply by getting upset at them and forcing them to stop venting their anger.”
284. “Love won’t allow you to bear burdens alone. — Tina Givens —”
285. “El amor no guarda una puntuación de errores. El amor no revive los fracasos pasados. Ninguno de nosotros es perfecto.”
286. “Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love.”
287. “Some parents find the idea of asking permission to share their perspective ridiculous, or even offensive. “Why should I have to ask my teen permission to speak?” one father asked. The question is not whether the parents have the right to speak to the teenager, they do. The question is: “Do you want your teenager to listen to what you are saying?” Asking permission recognizes that she is an individual, and she has the choice of hearing what is in your heart and mind—or not hearing it. You are recognizing your teen as an individual. You are creating the climate for sympathetic dialogue. Parents”
288. “Before marriage, we are carried along by the force of the in-love obsession. After marriage, we revert to being the people we were before we “fell in love.”
289. “honesty.”
290. “An ancient sage once said, “A soft answer turns away anger.”
291. “Gifts are visual symbols of love.”
292. “Time is a precious commodity. We all have multiple demands on our time, yet each of us has the exact same hours in a day. We can make the most of those hours by committing some of them to our spouse. If your mate’s primary love language is quality time, she simply wants you, being with her, spending time.”
293. “Putting away shoes, changing a baby’s diaper, washing dishes or a car, vacuuming, or mowing speaks volumes to the individual whose primary love language is acts of service.” – Gary Chapman
294. “Quality conversation is quite different from the love language words of affirmation. Affirming words focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses fully as much on what we are hearing. If I am sharing my love for you by means of quality time and we are going to spend that time in conversation, it will be with a genuine desire to understand your thoughts, feelings and desires.”
295. “Could it be that deep inside hurting couples exists an invisible “emotional love tank” with its gauge on empty? Could the misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, and critical spirit occur because of that empty tank?”
296. “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”5”
297. “We speak and understand best our native language. We feel most comfortable speaking that language. The more we use a secondary language, the more comfortable we become conversing in it. If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited. We must rely on pointing, grunting, drawing pictures, or acting out our ideas. We can communicate, but it is awkward.”
298. “Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.”
299. “If we can agree that the word love permeates human society, both historically and in the present, we must also agree that it is a most confusing word. We use it in a thousand ways. We say, “I love hot dogs,” and in the next breath, “I love my mother.” We speak of loving activities: swimming, skiing, hunting. We love objects: food, cars, houses. We love animals: dogs, cats, even pet snails. We love nature: trees, grass, flowers, and weather. We love people: mother, father, son, daughter, parents, wives, husbands, friends. We even fall in love with love.”
300. “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.3”
301. “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
302. “We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it. If we want him/her to feel the love we are trying to communicate, we must express it in his or her primary love language.” – Gary Chapman
303. “Love is a choice you make everyday.”
304. “People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional
305. “We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was—a temporary emotional high—and now pursue “real love” with our spouse.”
306. “Sexual intercourse, however, is only one dialect in the love language of physical touch. Of the five senses, touching, unlike the other four, is not limited to one localized area of the body. Tiny tactile receptors are located throughout the body. When those receptors are touched or pressed, nerves carry impulses to the brain. The brain interprets these impulses and we perceive that the thing that touched us is warm or cold, hard or soft. It causes pain or pleasure. We may also interpret it as loving or hostile.” – Gary Chapman
307. “Cuando me siento con mi esposa y le presto veinte minutos de toda mi atención y ella hace lo mismo para mí, nos damos veinte minutos de vida. Nunca más tendremos esos veinte minutos; nos damos nuestras vidas el uno al otro. Esto es un poderoso comunicador emocional de amor.”
308. “Learning the love language of acts of service will require some of us to reexamine our stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives.” – Gary Chapman
309. “In fact, love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”
310. “By nature, we are egocentric. Our”
311. “Love is a choice. And either partner can start the process today.”
312. “Love is kind. If then we are to communicate love verbally, we”
313. “My parents may have given me negative or mixed messages about my worth, but my spouse knows me as an adult and loves me. Her love builds my self-esteem. The”
314. “No podemos aceptar el crédito por las cosas buenas y generosas que hacemos mientras estamos bajo la influencia de «la obsesión». Nos empuja y nos lleva una fuerza instintiva que va más allá de nuestros patrones de comportamiento normal. No obstante, si una vez que volvemos al mundo real de la decisión humana, optamos por ser amables y generosos, eso es amor verdadero.”
315. “Remember that your ultimate goal is for your children to grow up secure in your love, strong in their faith, and with sound character.”
316. “Los psicólogos han llegado a la conclusión de que la necesidad de sentirse amado es una necesidad emocional primaria del ser humano. Por amor, escalaremos montañas, cruzaremos mares, atravesaremos las arenas del desierto y soportaremos adversidades inenarrables. Sin amor, las montañas se vuelven difíciles de escalar, los mares son imposibles de cruzar, los desiertos son insoportables y las dificultades son inmensas en la vida.”
317. “I would be delighted to wash dishes tonight,” said in a snarling tone will not be received as an
318. “If all that is not confusing enough, we also use the word love to explain behavior. “I did it because I love her.” That explanation is given for all kinds of actions. A politician is involved in an adulterous relationship, and he calls it love. The preacher, on the other hand, calls it sin. The wife of an alcoholic picks up the pieces after her husband’s latest episode. She calls it love, but the psychologist calls it codependency. The parent indulges all the child’s wishes, calling it love. The family therapist would call it irresponsible parenting. What is loving behavior?”
319. “unexpectedly get”
320. “O perdão não é um sentimento; é um compromisso. É a opção de mostrar misericórdia, de não responder à ofensa daquele que ofendeu. O perdão é uma expressão de amor.”
321. “The emotional need for love must be met if we are to have emotional health.”
322. “Lack of love from parents often motivates their children to go searching for love in other relationships. This search is often misguided and leads to further disappointment.”
323. “When an action does not come naturally to you it is a greater expression of love.”
324. “The word encourage means “to inspire courage.” All”
325. “Dead Seas and Babbling Brooks Not all of us are out of touch with our emotions, but when it comes to talking, all of us are affected by our personality. I have observed two basic personality types. The first I call the “Dead Sea.” In the little nation of Israel, the Sea of Galilee flows south by way of the Jordan River into the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea goes nowhere. It receives but it does not give. This personality type receives many experiences, emotions, and thoughts throughout the day. They have a large reservoir where they store that information, and they are perfectly happy not to talk. If you say to a Dead Sea personality, “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you talking tonight?” he will probably answer, “Nothing’s wrong. What makes you think something’s wrong?” And that response is perfectly honest. He is content not to talk. He could drive from Chicago to Detroit and never say a word and be perfectly happy. On the other extreme is the “Babbling Brook.” For this personality, whatever enters into the eye gate or the ear gate comes out the mouth gate and there are seldom sixty seconds between the two. Whatever they see, whatever they hear, they tell. In fact, if no one is at home to talk to, they will call someone else. “Do you know what I saw? Do you know what I heard?” If they can’t get someone on the telephone, they may talk to themselves because they have no reservoir. Many times a Dead Sea marries a Babbling Brook. That happens because when they are dating, it is a very attractive match. If you are a Dead Sea and you date a Babbling Brook, you will have a wonderful evening. You don’t have to think, “How will I get the conversation started tonight? How will I keep the conversation flowing?” In fact, you don’t have to think at all. All you have to do is nod your head and say, “Uh-huh,” and she will fill up the whole evening and you will go home saying, “What a wonderful person.” On the other hand, if you are a Babbling Brook and you date a Dead Sea, you will have an equally wonderful evening because Dead Seas are the world’s best listeners. You will babble for three hours. He will listen intently to you, and you will go home saying, “What a wonderful person.” You attract each other. But five years after marriage, the Babbling Brook wakes up one morning and says, “We’ve been married five years, and I don’t know him.” The Dead Sea is saying, “I know her too well. I wish she would stop the flow and give me a break.” The good news is that Dead Seas can learn to talk and Babbling Brooks can learn to listen. We are influenced by our personality but not controlled by it. One way to learn new patterns is to establish a daily sharing time in which each of you will talk about three things that happened to you that day and how you feel about them. I call that the “Minimum Daily Requirement” for a healthy marriage. If you will start with the daily minimum, in a few weeks or months you may find quality conversation flowing more freely between you.”
326. “The choice to love is the choice to take initiative. It is the choice to do or say something for the other person’s benefit, something that would help make them a better person, something that would enrich their lives or make life more meaningful for them.”
327. “This really makes sense,” Mary said. “Thank you,” Dave said. They took each other by the hand and walked toward their car. I said to myself out loud, “I think this is what church is all about. I think I am going to enjoy being a counselor.” I have never forgotten the insight I gained under that chinaberry tree”
328. “Slavery is at the heart of dysfunctional families. When people serve others because they are forced to do so, freedom to truly serve is lost. Slavery hardens the heart, creates anger, bitterness and resentment. On the other hand, true love often finds its expression in acts of serve. It is service freely given, not out of fear but out of choice. It comes out of personal discovery that "it is more blessed to give than to receive”
329. “Love doesn’t keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn’t bring up past failures. None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the best or right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. Having confessed my failure and asked forgiveness, I can do nothing more to mitigate the hurt it may have caused my spouse. When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness. If I choose justice and seek to pay her back or make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself the judge and she the felon.”
330. “Each person has the potential of making a positive impact on the world. It all depends on what you do with what you have. Success is not to be measured by the amount of money you possess or the position you attain but rather in how you use both. Position and money can be squandered or abused, but they can also be used to help others.”
331. “Camp out in the living room. Spread your blankets and pillows on the floor. Get your Pepsi and popcorn. Pretend the TV is broken and talk like you used to when you were dating. Talk till the sun comes up or something else happens. If the floor gets too hard, go back upstairs and go to bed. You won’t forget this evening!”
332. “Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts. Your body becomes the symbol of your love.”
333. “Parents who treat the teenager in the same manner in which they treated the child will not experience the same results they received earlier. When the teenager does not respond as the child responded, the parents are now pushed to try something different. Without proper training, parents almost always revert to efforts at coercion, which often lead to arguments, loss of temper, and perhaps, verbal abuse. Such behavior is emotionally devastating to the teenager whose primary love language is words of affirmation. The parents’ efforts to verbally argue the teenager into submission are in reality pushing the teenager toward rebellion.”
334. “When we express appreciation, it means that we recognize the value of the other person's contribution to our relationship/ Each of us expends our energy and abilities in ways that benefit our relationship.”
335. “Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts. Your body becomes the symbol of your love. Remove the symbol, and the sense of love evaporates.” – Gary Chapman
336. “Unfortunately, the eternality of the “in-love” experience is fiction, not fact. The late psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov conducted long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. If it is a secretive love affair, it may last a little longer. Eventually, however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the warts of the other person. Her endearing “quirks” are now merely annoying. His sharp sense of humor now wounds. Those little bumps we overlooked when we were in love now become huge mountains.”
337. “The shock waves would rumble through business, industry, church, education, and the rest of society. Why? Because people who are “in love” lose interest in other pursuits. That is why we call it “obsession.” The college student who falls head over heels in love sees his grades tumbling. It is difficult to study when you are in love.”
338. “THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES Words of Affirmation Quality Time Receiving Gifts Acts of Service Physical Touch”
339. “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank.’” I was listening to Dr. Ross Campbell, a psychiatrist who specialized in the treatment of children and adolescents.”
340. “It takes time and the conscious choice to listen.”
341. “Genuine forgiveness and reconciliation are two-person transactions that are enabled by apologies. Some, particularly within the Christian worldview, have taught forgiveness without an apology. They often quote the words of Jesus, “If you do not forgive men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Thus, they say to the wife whose husband has been unfaithful and continues in his adulterous affair, “You must forgive him, or God will not forgive you.” Such an interpretation of Jesus’ teachings fails to reckon with the rest of the scriptural teachings on forgiveness. The Christian is instructed to forgive others in the same manner that God forgives us. How does God forgive us? The Scriptures say that if we confess our sins, God will forgive our sins. Nothing in the Old or New Testaments indicates that God forgives the sins of people who do not confess and repent of their sins.
342. “her”
343. “Sometimes our words say one thing, but our tone of voice says another.”
344. “They are in the same house at the same time, but they are not together. A wife who is texting while her husband tries to talk to her is not giving him quality time, because he does not have her full attention.”
345. “Gifts need not be expensive; after all, "it's the thuoght that counts." But I remind you, it is not the thought left in your head that counts; it is the gift that came out of the thought that communicates emotional love.”
346. “Reprosurile legate de comportament ale partenerului sunt un indiciu clar despre limbajul principal al iubirii. [...] Reprosurile sunt o modalitate ineficienta de a cere iubirea.”
347. “Niégate a interrumpir. Investigaciones recientes indican que el individuo promedio solo escucha diecisiete segundos antes de interrumpir e intercalar sus propias ideas.”
348. “Love is a choice and cannot be coerced.”
349. “SuperSummary guides are very thorough, accurate, and easy to understand and navigate. The information is chapter specific and so it's easy to target certain things.”
350. “True love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run it's course.”
351. “Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. (1 Cor 13:5)”
352. “When your spouse’s emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach his highest potential in life.”
353. “We agreed there was no benefit to our living together any longer, so we split.”
354. “Usually if a wife feels loved by her husband, she will desire sexual intimacy. If she does not, she will likely feel used in the sexual context. That is why loving someone who is not loving you is extremely difficult. It goes against our natural tendencies.”
355. “Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
356. “The manner in which we speak is exceedingly important. An ancient sage once said, 'A soft answer turns away anger.' When your spouse is angry and upset and lashing out words of heat, if you choose to be loving, you will not reciprocate with additional heat but with a soft voice. You will receive what he is saying as information about his emotional feelings. You will let him tell you of his hurt, anger, and perception of events. You will seek to put yourself in his shoes and see the event through his eyes and then express softly and kindly your understanding of why he feels that way. If you have wronged him, you will be willing to confess the wrong and ask forgiveness. If your motivation is different from what he is reading, you will be able to explain your motivation kindly. You will seek understanding and reconciliation, and not to prove your own perception as the only logical way to interpret what has happened. That is mature love--love to which we aspire if we seek a growing marriage.”
357. “Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.”
358. “LOVE LANGUAGE # 4 Acts of Service”
359. “am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday, and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful present. “I can’t believe you did it. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. You can’t possibly know how much you hurt me. I don’t know how you can sit there so smugly after you treated me that way. You ought to be crawling on your knees, begging me for forgiveness. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.” Those are not the words of love but of bitterness and resentment and revenge.”
360. “Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”
361. “Pot trai doua luni de pe urma unui compliment bun. Mark Twain”
362. “Discovering your own love language helps you understand why you feel more loved and appreciated by certain people than you do.”
363. “We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.”
364. “A soft answer turns away anger.”
365. “After the wedding, I don’t think I changed. I continued to express love to her as I had before marriage. I told her how beautiful she was. I told her how much I loved her. I told her how proud I was to be her husband.”
366. “All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.”
367. “Some came to me because the inner ache had become unbearable.”
368. “Where are the shooting stars, the balloons, the deep emotions? What about the spirit of anticipation, the twinkle of the eye, the electricity of a kiss, the excitement of sex? What about the emotional security of knowing that I am number one in his/her mind?” That is what this book is all about. How do we meet each other’s deep, emotional need to feel loved? If we can learn that and choose to do it, then the love we share will be exciting beyond anything we ever felt when we were infatuated.”
369. “I can’t conceive of doing anything to hurt her. My only desire is to make her happy. I would do anything to make her happy.” Such obsession gives us the false sense that our egocentric attitudes have been eradicated”
370. “But if, once we return to the real world of human choice, we choose to be kind and generous, that is real love.”
371. “Eventually, however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the warts of the other person.”
372. “Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct.”
373. “God’s forgiveness is always in response to man’s repentance. His”
374. “We speak and understand best our native language…
375. “Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love. That is why the ancient biblical writings spoke of the husband and wife becoming “one flesh.” That did not mean that individuals would lose their identity; it meant that they would enter into each other’s lives in a deep and intimate way.”
376. “We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future.”
377. “Make time every day to share with each other some of the events of the day. When you spend more time on Facebook than you do listening to each other, you can end up more concerned about your hundred “friends” than about your spouse.”
378. “Learning to listen may be as difficult as learning a foreign language, but learn we must, if we want to communicate love. That”
379. “Love makes requests, not demands.”
380. “how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.”
381. “In fact, true love cannot begin until the “in-love” experience has run its course.”
382. “Es fácil trabajar en las cosas equivocadas. Un esposo podría pasar todo un fin de semana haciendo tareas: rastrillar hojas, preparar el césped para el invierno, enrollar las mangueras y guardarlas, preparar los autos para el invierno, sacar del ático las decoraciones para las fiestas, cortar troncos para la chimenea... y no añadir ni una gota al tanque de amor de su esposa. Por otro lado, ese mismo esposo podría traer a casa comida china, limpiar la cocina después, y luego llevar a los niños a la cama por su cuenta cuando su esposa esté agotada después de un largo día, y llenarle su tanque de amor a desbordar.”
383. “We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.”
384. “If acts of service do not come naturally for you, it is still a love language worth acquiring. It is a way of expressing a sense of responsibility for the well-being of others. Albert Schweitzer said repeatedly " As long as there is a man in the world who is hungry, sick, lonely or living in fear, he is my responsibility." Helping others is universally accepted as an expression of love.”
385. “The "in love" experience temporarily meets that need, but it is inevitably a "quick fix" and, as we shall learn later, has a limited and predictable life span. After we come down from the high of the "in love" obsession, the emotional need for love resurfaces because it is fundamental to our nature. It is at the center of our emotional desires. We needed love before we "fell in love," and we will need it as long as we live.”
386. “Love makes requests, not demands. When I demand things from my spouse, I become a parent and she the child.”
387. “Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination on ways to express love.” – Gary Chapman
388. “I liked the metaphor the first time I heard it: “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave.”
389. “Author photo: P. S. Photography
390. “Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.”
391. “Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank”
392. “The divorce rate for second marriages is higher than the divorce rate of first marriages. The divorce rate in third marriages is higher still. Apparently the prospect of a happier marriage the second and third time around is not substantial.”
393. “Podemos optar por viver hoje livres dos erros de ontem. O perdão não é um sentimento; é um compromisso.”
394. “She felt funny, strange, making up lies as quickly and smoothly as if she’d been doing it all her life.”
395. “Positive Eye Contact Quality time should include loving eye contact. Looking in your child’s eyes with care is a powerful way to convey love from your heart to the heart of your child. Studies have shown that most parents use eye contact in primarily negative ways, either while reprimanding a child or giving very explicit instructions. If you give loving looks only when your child is pleasing you, you are falling into the trap of conditional love. That can damage your child’s personal growth. You want to give enough unconditional love to keep your child’s emotional tank full, and a key way to do this is through proper use of eye contact. Sometimes family members refuse to look at one another as a means of punishment. This is destructive to both adults and children. Kids especially interpret withdrawal of eye contact as disapproval, and this further erodes their self-esteem. Don’t let your demonstration of”
396. “We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.” – Gary Chapman
397. “She said I was crazy. She said I did not understand the stress of being a twenty-four-hour nurse. She said I should be more understanding and help her more. I really tried, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. After that, we just grew further apart. After a while, there was no love left, just deadness. Both of us agreed that the marriage was over.”
398. “Esa manera de pensar siempre es fantasiosa. No es que seamos insinceros en lo que pensamos y sentimos, sino es que somos poco realistas. Fallamos al no tener en cuenta la realidad de la naturaleza humana. Somos egocéntricos por naturaleza. Nuestro mundo gira a nuestro alrededor. Ninguno de nosotros es altruista por completo. La euforia de la experiencia del «enamoramiento» solo nos da esa ilusión.”
399. “the ancient biblical writings spoke of the husband and wife becoming “one flesh.” That did not mean that individuals would lose their identity; it meant that they would enter into each other’s lives in a deep and intimate way.”
400. “The person who is "in-love" has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.”
401. “We cannot take credit for the kind and generous things we do while under the influence of “the obsession.” We are pushed and carried along by an instinctual force that goes beyond our normal behavior patterns. But if, once we return to the real world of human choice, we choose to be kind and generous, that is real love.”
402. “Covenant love is conscious love. It is intentional love. It is commitment to love no matter what. It requires thought and action. It does not wait for the encouragement of warm emotions but chooses to look out for the interest of the other party because you are committed to the other's well-being.
403. “So many books, so little time.” ― Frank Zappa
404. “When I have been wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or forgiveness.”
405. “All five love languages challenge us to give to our spouse, but for some, receiving gifts, visible symbols of love, speaks the loudest.”
406. “Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. We are sending double messages. Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.”
407. “Stig: 'Of course, she'll sail rings around Wolfswind,'
408. “If we are to communicate effectively across cultural lines, we must learn the language of those with whom we wish to communicate.”
409. “the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years.”
410. “On a scale of 0–10, how full is your love tank?”
411. “Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.”
412. “When your spouse’s emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach his highest potential in life. But when the love tank is empty and he feels used but not loved, the whole world looks dark and he will likely never reach his potential for good in the world. In”
413. “Expressing love in the right language. We tend to speak our own love language, to express love to others in a language that would make us feel loved. But if it is not his/her primary love language, it will not mean to them what it would mean to us.”
414. “Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.”
415. “Si en seis meses pudieras lograr tu más profundo deseo, ¿cuál sería? Ana guardó silencio por un rato. Entonces, dijo con toda convicción: —Me gustaría vernos haciendo cosas juntos, yendo a lugares juntos. Me gustaría sentir que está interesado en mi mundo. Me gustaría vernos conversando cuando salimos a comer. Me gustaría que me escuchara. Me gustaría sentir que valora mis ideas. Me gustaría vernos viajando juntos y divirtiéndonos de nuevo. Me gustaría saber que valora nuestro matrimonio más que cualquier cosa.”
416. “life’s deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments but in relationships.”
417. “The tongue has the power of life and death.”
418. “Love is the most important word in the English language—and the most confusing.”
419. “Write a love letter, a love paragraph, or a love sentence to your spouse, and give it quietly or with fanfare! You may someday find your love letter tucked away in some special place. Words are important! 6. Compliment your spouse in the presence of his parents or friends. You will get double credit: Your spouse will feel loved and the parents will feel lucky to have such a great son-in-law or daughter-in-law.”
420. “Outra possibilidade são as palavras encorajadoras.”
421. “That leads me to the second truth: Love is a choice and cannot be coerced. Dave and Mary were criticizing each other’s behavior and getting nowhere. Once they decided to make requests of each other rather than demands, their marriage began to turn around”
422. “Life is filled with opportunities to express love by acts of service.”
423. “Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.”
424. “In interiorul fiecarui copil, exista unr ezervor afectiv care de-abia asteapta sa fie umplut cu iubire. Atunci cand un copil se simte cu adevarat iubit, el se va dezvolta normal; dar cand rezervorul este gol, copilul se va comporta in mod nedorit. In mare masura, acest comportament necuviincios este motivat de doritna arzatoare de a umple rezervorul iubirii.”
425. “The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love. It is a fact, however, that when we receive affirming words we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires.”
426. “Being in love is an emotional and obsessive experience. However, emotions change and obsessions fade. Research indicates that the average life span of the "in love" obsession is two years. For some it may last a bit longer; for some, a bit less. But the average is two years. Then we come down off the emotional high and those aspects of life that we disregarded in our euphoria begin to become important. Our differences begin to emerge and we often find ourselves arguing with the person whom we once though to be perfect. We have now discovered for ourselves that being in love is not the foundation for a happy marriage.”
427. “Among those emotional needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted.”
428. “The tongue has the power of life and death.”2”
429. “Third, one who is "in love" is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. "If we have any purpose in mind when we fall in love it is to terminate our own loneliness and perhaps ensure this result through marriage.”
430. “Forgiveness is the way of love.”
431. “To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being.”
432. “If you discover that your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts, then perhaps you will understand that purchasing gifts for him or her is the best investment you can make. You are investing in your relationship and filling your spouse’s emotional love tank, and with a full love tank, he or she will likely reciprocate emotional love to you in a language you will understand.” – Gary Chapman
433. “Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English.”
434. “With empty love tanks, couples tend to argue and withdraw, and some may tend to be violent verbally or physically in their arguments. But when the love tank is full, we create a climate of friendliness, a climate that seeks to understand, that is willing to allow differences and to negotiate problems. I am convinced that no single area of marriage affects the rest of marriage as much as meeting the emotional need for love.”
435. “We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.”
436. “I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.”
437. “Daudzi uzaug mājās, kur domu un jūtu izpausmes ne tikai nav ieteicamas, bet tiek pat nosodītas. Lūgt rotaļlietu nozīmēja gūt mācību par ģimenes bēdīgo finansiālo stāvokli. Bērns aizgāja, juzdamies vainīgs par to, ka vēlējies kaut ko, un drīz iemācījās neizteikt vēlmes. Kad viņš izrādīja dusmas, vecāki atbildēja asi un nosodoši. Tādējādi bērns iemācījās, ka dusmu izpausmes nav pieņemamas. Ja bērnam lika justies vainīgam par to, ka viņš izrādīja vilšanos, uzzinājis, ka nevarēs doties kopā ar tēvu iepirkties, viņš iemācījās paturēt vilšanos sevī. Sasniedzot pieaugušā vecumu, daudzi no mums ir iemācījušies noliegt savas jūtas. Mēs vairs neuzturam kontaktu ar savu emocionālo patību.”
438. “The euphoria of the “in-love” state gives us the illusion that we have an intimate relationship.”
439. “First, they illustrate clearly that what we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage. Before marriage, we are carried along by the force of the in-love obsession. After marriage, we revert to being the people we were before we “fell in love.” Our actions are influenced by the model of our parents; our own personality; our perceptions of love; our emotions, needs, and desires. Only one thing is certain about our behavior: It will not be the same behavior we exhibited when we were caught up in being “in love.” That leads me to the second truth: Love is a choice and cannot be coerced. Dave and Mary were criticizing each other’s behavior and getting nowhere. Once they decided to make requests of each other rather than demands, their marriage began to turn around. Criticism and demands tend to drive wedges. With enough criticism, you may get acquiescence from your spouse. He may do what you want, but probably it will not be an expression of love. You can give guidance to love by making requests: “I wish you would wash the car, change the baby’s diaper, mow the grass,” but you cannot create the will to love. Each of us must decide daily to love or not to love our spouses. If we choose to love, then expressing it in the way in which our spouse requests will make our love most effective emotionally. There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with the clearest clue to her primary love language. People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. Their criticism is an ineffective way of pleading for love. If we understand that, it may help us process their criticism in a more productive manner.”
440. “What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated, while at the same time seeking to reciprocate. To feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling that your potential spouse has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities and personality. Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.”
441. “I think people desperately want to feel love.”
442. “We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic.”
443. “Often we fail to consider the fact that our social, spiritual, and intellectual interests are miles apart. Our value systems and goals are contradictory, but we are in love.”
444. “We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was—a temporary emotional high—and now pursue “real love” with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth.”
445. “Each of us must decide daily to love or not to love our spouses. If we choose to love, then expressing it in the way in which our spouse requests will make our love most effective emotionally.”
446. “Child psychologists affirm that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to be emotionally stable. Among those emotional needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted. With an adequate supply of affection, the child will likely develop into a responsible adult. Without that love, he or she will be emotionally and socially challenged.”
447. “am significant because I stand at the apex of the created order. I have the ability to think in abstract terms, communicate my thoughts via words, and make decisions. By means of printed or recorded words, I can benefit from the thoughts of those who have preceded me. I can profit from others’ experiences, though they lived in a different age and culture. I experience the death of family and friends and sense that there is existence beyond the material. I discover that, in all cultures, people believe in a spiritual world. My heart tells me it is true even when my mind, trained in scientific observation, raises critical questions.”
448. “Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.”
449. “Affirming Words” to his third wife when he said, “I told her
450. “The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. Yes, it happened. Certainly it hurt. And it may still hurt, but he has acknowledged his failure and asked your forgiveness. We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. “I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you. Even though my feelings of hurt may linger, I will not allow what has happened to come between us. I hope that we can learn from this experience. You are not a failure because you have failed.”
451. “I can’t pinpoint what exactly it is until Silas steps behind my sister and delicately runs his fingers through her hair, his handle gentle as if he’s touching a priceless jewel. Rosie blushes as he leans into her and whispers something in her ear that makes her lips curve up in an elegant smile. I recognize the look in Silas’s eyes—adoration.”
452. “Babies who are held, stroked, and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact.”
453. “love is always a choice.”
454. “We needed love before we “fell in love” and we will need it as long as we live.”
455. “An ancient sage once said, “A soft answer turns away anger.” When your spouse is angry and upset and lashing out words of heat, if you choose to be loving, you will not reciprocate with additional heat but with a soft voice.”
456. “We are talking about love, and love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself. Most of us do things each day that do not come "naturally" for us. For some of us, that is getting out of bed in the morning. We go against our feelings and get out of bed. Why? Because we believe there is something worthwhile to do that day. And normally, before the day is over, we feel good about having gotten up. Our actions preceded our emotions.
457. “I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn’t make another person feel loved.”
458. “We know intellectually that we will eventually have differences. But we are certain that we will discuss those differences openly; one of us will always be willing to make concessions, and we will reach agreement.”
459. “The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. Yes, it happened. Certainly it hurt. And it may still hurt, but he has acknowledged his failure and asked your forgiveness. We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is”
460. “Once the experience of falling in love has run its natural course (remember, the average in-love experience lasts two years), we will return to the world of reality and begin to assert ourselves.”
461. “Nuestra necesidad emocional más básica no es enamorarnos, sino ser amado de verdad por el otro, conocer un amor que brota de la razón y de la decisión, no del instinto.”
462. “It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction--the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another. It does not require the euphoria of the 'in-love' experience. In fact, true love cannot begin until the 'in-love' experience has run its course.”
463. “When I sit with my wife and give her twenty minutes of my undivided attention and she does the same for me, we are giving each other twenty minutes of life. We will never have those twenty minutes again; we are giving our lives to each other. It is a powerful emotional communicator of love.”
464. “If love is a choice, then they have the capacity to love after the “in-love” obsession has died and they have returned to the real world. That kind of love begins with an attitude—a way of thinking. Love is the attitude that says, “I am married to you, and I choose to look out for your interests.”
465. “The emphasis is not on what you are doing but on why you are doing it.”
466. “When your spouse is angry and upset and lashing out words of heat, if you choose to be loving, you will not reciprocate with additional heat but with a soft voice. You will receive what he is saying as information about his emotional feelings. You will let him tell you of his hurt, anger, and perception of events. You will seek to put yourself in his shoes and see the event through his eyes and then express softly and kindly your understanding of why he feels that way.”
467. “how you can be a better spouse, and regardless of the other’s attitude, act on what he or she tells you. Continue to both seek more input and comply with those wishes with all your heart and will. Assure your spouse that your motives are pure. 2. When you receive positive feedback, you know there is progress. Each month make one nonthreatening but specific request that is easy for your spouse.”
468. “Remember, emotions themselves are neither good nor bad. They are simply our psychological responses to the events of life.”
469. “The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.”
470. “It is the mistaken idea that if I reward mediocrity, I will curtail the person’s aspirations to be better. That is a commonly held myth that keeps some parents from verbally affirming children. Of course, it’s untrue.”
471. “Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank.”
472. “I would encourage you to make your own investigation of the one whom, as He died, prayed for those who killed Him: 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' That is love's ultimate expression.”
473. “In interiorul fiecarui copil, exista un rezervor afectiv care de-abia asteapta sa fie umplut cu iubire. Atunci cand un copil se simte cu adevarat iubit, el se va dezvolta normal; dar cand rezervorul este gol, copilul se va comporta in mod nedorit. In mare masura, acest comportament necuviincios este motivat de dorinta arzatoare de a umple rezervorul iubirii.”
474. “Positive, affirming relationships bring great pleasure while poor relationship brings great pain. Greatest happiness found in good relationships, greatest pain found in bad relationships”
475. “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not t hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.”
476. “What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.”
477. “The tongue has the power of life and death.”1”
478. “you spend more time on Facebook than you do listening to each other, you end up more concerned about your hundred “friends” than about your spouse.”
479. “Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.”
480. “One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up. Solomon,”
481. “kind of love requires effort and discipline.”
482. “am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.”
483. “The decision to get married will impact one’s life more deeply than almost any decision in life.”
484. “We needed love before we “fell in love,” and we will need it as long as we live.”
485. “La manipulación mediante la culpa («Si fueras un buen cónyuge, harías esto por mí»), no es un lenguaje del amor. La coerción mediante el miedo («Hazlo o lo lamentarás»), es algo ajeno al amor.”
486. “Los ingredientes esenciales en una actividad de calidad son: (1) que al menos uno de los dos quiera hacerlo, (2) el otro esté dispuesto a hacerlo, y (3) ambos sepan por qué lo hacen: para expresarse amor estando juntos.”
487. “The need for significance is the emotional force behind much of our behavior. Life is driven by the desire for success. We want our lives to count for something. We have our own idea of what it means to be significant, and we work hard to reach our goals. Feeling loved by a spouse enhances our sense of significance. We reason, If someone loves me, I must have significance.”
488. “For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships.
489. “but our real interest is not in the food. We are on a quest to discover love.”
490. “soledad es devastadora para la psique humana. Es por eso que el confinamiento solitario se considera uno de los castigos más crueles. En el corazón de la existencia del género humano está el deseo de tener intimidad con otro y de que nos ame.”
491. “We needed love before we 'fell in love,' and we will need it the rest of our lives.”
492. “Relinquishing my hopes of getting a nap,”
493. “I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday, and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful present. “I can’t believe you did it. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. You can’t possibly know how much you hurt me. I don’t know how you can sit there so smugly after you treated me that way. You ought to be crawling on your knees, begging me for forgiveness. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.” Those are not the words of love but of bitterness and resentment and revenge. The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history. Yes, it happened. Certainly it hurt. And it may still hurt, but he has acknowledged his failure and asked your forgiveness. We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. “I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you. Even though my feelings of hurt may linger, I will not allow what has happened to come between us. I hope that we can learn from this experience. You are not a failure because you have failed. You are my spouse, and together we will go on from here.” Those are the words of affirmation expressed in the dialect of kind words.”
494. “Almost never do two people fall in love on the same day, and almost never do they fall out of love on the same day.”
495. “Never underestimate the value of the ministry you have in the place where God has called you—even if it’s “only” among your family and friends. — Jenni Davenport —”
496. “Love doesn’t keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn’t bring up past failures.”
497. “Learning the love language of acts of service will require some of us to reexamine our stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives.”
498. “is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction—the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another.”
499. “Salomón, autor de la antigua literatura hebrea de sabiduría, escribió: «En la lengua hay poder de vida y muerte»”
500. “Unconditional love is a full love that accepts and affirms a child for who he is, not for what he does. No matter what he does (or does not do), the parent still loves him. Sadly, some parents display a love that is conditional; it depends on something other than their children just being. Conditional love is based on performance and is often associated with training techniques that offer gifts, rewards, and privileges to children who behave or perform in desired ways.”
501. “Success is not to be measured by the amount of money you possess or the position you attain but rather in how you use both.”
502. “As children get older, we tend to condemn them for their failures rather then commend them for their success.”
503. “Giving verbal compliments is only one way to express words of affirmation to your spouse. Another dialect is encouraging words. The word encourage means “to inspire courage.” All of us have areas in which we feel insecure. We lack courage, and that lack of courage often hinders us from accomplishing the positive things that we would like to do. The latent potential within your spouse in his or her areas of insecurity may await your encouraging words.”
504. “aliento requiere empatía y ver el mundo desde la perspectiva de tu cónyuge. Primero, debemos saber lo que”
505. “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.”
506. “No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.”
507. “The euphoria of the in-love state gives us the illusion that we have an intimate relationship. We feel that we belong to each other. We believe we can conquer all problems.”
508. “Love is a choice.”
509. “When a wife says, “I wish my husband would talk. I never know what he’s thinking or feeling,” she is pleading for intimacy.”
510. “I liked the metaphor the first time I heard it: “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty ‘love tank.’” I was listening to Dr. Ross Campbell, a psychiatrist who specialized in the treatment of children and adolescents.”
511. “Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”
512. “Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.”
513. “Women like to be affirmed verbally, just as men like to be affirmed verbally. They tend to pull away from dating partners who do not give affirmation. Lack of verbal affirmation is interpreted as lack of love.”
514. “Love as an attitude with appropriate behavior? Where are the shooting stars, the balloons, the deep emotions? What about the spirit of anticipation, the twinkle of the eye, the electricity of a kiss, the excitement of sex? What about the emotional security of knowing that I am number one in his/her mind?”
515. “Inside every child is an ‘emotional tank’ waiting to be filled with love. When”
516. “Olvidamos que el matrimonio es una relación, no un proyecto para terminar ni un problema para resolver.”
517. “For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships.”
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