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  • Jonno White

300 Funny Sarcastic Quotes: Inspirational Sayings For Life

1. The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.

2. “They say each day is a gift! Well, I want to know where customer service is so I can return this one!!” – Unknown

3. Change is not a four-letter word… but often your reaction to it is!

4. “He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

5. I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.

6. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” — Winston Churchill.

7. Without geometry, life is pointless.

8. Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.

9. Computers will understand sarcasm before Americans do.

10. This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.

11. I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. - Rodney Dangerfield

12. “What’s on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.” ― Fred Allen